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Saturday, September 25, 2004


Oxford bling! 

So yours truly won some assorted Oxford paraphenalia in a contest. Who'd have thunk sending an e-mail and screenshot could've netted me some actual swag. See if you can find the spelling mistake I make in my cited e-mail.

So I have a test on tuesday in a class where I still haven't bought the textbook. It's 120 something but I still have some people who haven't e-mailed back yet who will sell it for less. I hope this works out.

I was playing the craziest game the other day. It's a card game where you plant beans and harvest your crops. There aren't any offensive bean burning cards or whatever, just plant and sell. It's surprisingly enjoyable. Very zen.


Thursday, September 23, 2004


Neighbours 

First off, a couple things you should know about a neighbour of mine (through the driveway, not next door).
1) He got in a big dispute with my mother and another neighbour a couple years ago because he wanted to build a fence in the driveway which would mark off his property and be a great nuisance to everyone else. He was eventually successful, but only after screaming matches and intimidation and the other neighbour moved down the street.
2) At one point my mom called the cops over this fence thing and the cops told us that him and his wife were "well known" to them.
3) He has a back injury which is a source of physical pain and misery to him.

On with the program:

So I'm in bed last night trying to get to sleep. I hear this yelling outside and assume it's some wino down the block. I hear my mom get out of bed and go to the window in the hall so I get up to have a look. It's about 12:30. My mother looks shocked - it's our neighbour that is yelling because his mother pushed him down his porch steps, hurting his back. Now he is pulling himself around with his arms and drunkenly shouting at her, "I said I was sorry!" "Fuck you, this is pitiful!". My mother decides to phone the police. The behaviour continues for a while longer. We notice that his car lights are on and his car door is open. He must have driven home like this, got into the house, cussed and probably hit his mother and/or his wife before he got pushed onto the ground. Right now he's trying to pull himself back into his car. The police show up in two squad cars about seven minutes after my mom phoned them. The four officers walk through the neighbours' house to the back yard and find him sprawled, trying to get into the car. He settles right down as the police ask him questions. At this point it's hard to hear anything they're saying. I stop watching from the window and try to go back to sleep. I wonder what exactly happened before and after I started watching them. I wonder if they sent him to lock-up, the hospital or back inside. The one I feel bad for in all this is his son.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


Lotsa New Stuff! 



I gots me a new printer!

And what a printer it is, let me tell you! Colour, black and white, scanning, photocopying, this baby does it all! No more paying for photocopies, no more having to use other pople's scanners, and best of all, I can print stuff again!

Also new, I got a haircut. Now, since I'm still trying to grow my hair out in time for Halloween, I had to compromise and get my hair into a pseudo-quasi-mullet. "Business in the front, business witth a slightly more casual attitude in the back" as it were.

Props (prox?) to Jacob now for setting me up with a new Gmail account! Just got it up an' running, so if youse guys wanna contact me, I'm at Lam.Sinton@gmail.com.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I'll leave you with a quick link.
An auction for a used pen.


Tuesday, September 21, 2004


Gorilla-Unit 

Film class. We have to make a pitch for our ideas. The assignment is for a five minute documentary about a person. I pitched a documentary about my mom's friend who is a semi-professional painter. (Like water colours, not sides of houses). Between her painting and semi communist upbringing, I thought I had a pretty good pitch.

Other pitches, though... whoa. A Bollywood drag queen, a teen mom, a professional comedian and Winter's College's infamous "Bear". Could be a slim chance I'll get my movie made, but on the upside, I'd be happy to work on just about anyone else's movie.

So me and Sam are going to be famous soon. We bolth submitted comics to the school paper. Provided the comics are not too offensive or just plain bad.


Shaun of the Dead! 

*advances towards everyone with arms out, drooling and head tilted to one side*

Nope, I'm not actually starring in Shaun of the Dead (a flick worth watching), but that has been my general look since school started. I'm still working full time hours, though my boss tells me it really will change soon. So between school, work and fucking grammar five times a week (adding up all the lectures and tutorials), I've been a mess.

Still, its nice to be back at York, and it's nice to finally be nineteen! Yep, I actually turned 19 on Sept. 13th. Despite all the grammar, my religion class and environmental studies are shaping up to be pretty interesting, which is good. My TA for environmental studies had hippie parents, so her name is something like "Elderflower Moon" (ok all I remember is the Moon part, but it was pretty funny).

I haven't seen anyone from Goin' Ape in so long, so if you see me stumbling across campus and think I'm ignoring you, say hello! I'm technically not conscious, so just tap me on the shoulder or something if need be.


The Fundraiser 

So I get up bright n early and head off to prep for the fundraiser (that's what those links at the bottom of the page are for, to link to that particular post should you feel inclined). The actual setting up went relatively smoothly. I mainly moved things and hooked various computers up to various televisions (I may have mentioned that my co-workers have the mistaken image of me as some sort of "tech guy", I guess because I know how to use google). There were 2 girls from UTS there who knew my replacement and were working for extra credit. I had some nice conversations with one of them who shared many of my interests (she even was a fellow Tom Lehrer fan). I then found out that they were grade 9s. Oops. It became pretty obvious later on:

Her: Coke or Pepsi?
Me: Coke.
Her: Really? But Coke's so bitter.
Me (laughing and pointing at bottle of Steamwhistle): No, no that's bitter (Steamwhistle donated 200 bottles of beer to our fundraiser, so good on them!).
Her (wrinkling up nose): Eeeeeeew, alcohol's so gross.
Her Friend: I know, I think I once like had a sip of beer.
Her: I'm never going to drink.

As the day wore on it became apparent that my role at the fundraiser was slightly different than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be like a returning alumnai. They thought I was going to be a waiter. I got my first premonition of this when they told me to come to the fundraiser in a white shirt and black pants, the waiter uniform. I of course wasn't paying the $200s to go, but I decided I wasn't going to do the waiting thing all night.

I was going to the fundraiser with my friend Chloe, who's from British Columbia (quite the entrepreneur, in a west coast way). My parents thought I should take Veronica, my ex-girlfriend. I thought that was a really stupid idea. She was a huge Michael Ondaatje fan, but I just thought it wouldn't go very well. When I arrived at the fundraiser I was pressed into various tasks, but after finishing I did not seek out new assignments (I'm such a rebel) and just mingled. And drank. I think by the time the evening was over I had 7 glasses of wine. Michael Ondaatje's speech was pretty good. I was just surprised by how white he is. He looks (and sounds) very british. I was supposed to ask a question at the Q&A to break the ice as it were. I was standing in the back, not sure whether I should when Nancy (my boss, or ex-boss rather) pointed at me and said, "Yes, Jacob you have a question?" As heads turned towards me I started suttering out my answer.

Me: Uh, Mr. Ondaatje... in uh your book In the Skin of a Lion, you have many instances with people, uh, covering themselves: Criminals painting themselves blue; tanners dyeing themselves; men covering themselves in oil. Even the title of the book, referings to putting something over your skin. Do you think this covering, or concealment, is a metaphor for the themes of your book?
Michael Ondaatje: ...No.

Later in the evening I was on bartending duty, which was actually pretty fun. Lil' Jacob, the high schooler who worked briefly at the office, asked me for "my finest red wine". So I poor it for him and then:
Him: I can't drink this, I'm under age.
Me: You asked for it.
Him: I was joking.
Me: Well what am I going to do with it? It's a thin crowd right now, people aren't going to want an already poored drink.
Him: You drink it.
Me: I can't. That'd violate the sacred rules of bartendery.
Him: That's not even a word.
Me: Touché.
Him: If you chug it, no one will notice.
Me: (chugs red wine)/

That hit my system more then the others, cause it went in all at once. I think it was slightly later then that I said to some left-wing professor types that I thought he "was promoting social justice by activicizing in many different spheres". I guess I was just disapointed I hadn't been able to ask Michael Ondaatje about that episode of Seinfeld with the English Patient.

After the fundraiser (but before the clean-up!) I went to a houseparty with Chloe, which was pretty uneventful except for some dude got kicked out. He was in the bathroom and the host was like (really loudly): "Hey guys, that bastard Sean's going now so we can have fun". The people were mainly ex-New Collegers. I didn't really want to go home then cause it was far away, so I went to Chloe's house and slept on her couch. Her roommate was quite serene about seeing some guy in his boxers in her living room the next morning, so good for her! All in all, it was a good fundraiser and we managed to raise many thousand dollars. If as a conservative estimate I say $20,000 net, that's a hundred children in Sri Lanka who's life has been saved. That's a hundred children who can grow up, who can have children of their own, who don't have to die bedridden and in pain before puberty.

Sunday, September 19, 2004


Tubby McGutsalard 

Man, I must have seen Toronto's fattest man today! Seriously, this guy was, like, at least 400 lbs., and I'd say a good 200 of it was in belly alone! His shirt didn't even fit! His stomach was hanging out the bottom of what had to be an XL shirt! It was at the same time the best and worst thing a person could let themselves become!

I won't be forgetting that guy in a hurry.

Anyways, I've been doing some more work on my comic fro th'Excalibur. I'm hoping that it'll be ready by next week at the latest. I've got some pretty good jokes lined up, I think.

P.S. What are these links at the bottoms of our posts for? All they do is center the screen. Is there any way to make them actually go to something?

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a gorilla with no superego.