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Saturday, October 02, 2004


Talk About Happenstance! 

Hey Everybody! Lookee what I found!

It's Jon Blair's old webcomic!

Amazingly enough, I wasn't actively looking for this! It was linked to in the "Fan art" section of Bobbins.com! Isn't it a small world?!

Well, I'm satisfied with myself.


Doublepost, for a reason! 


The greatest scam on earth. 

Hokay, guys. You gotta get in on this shiat.

Subway has these coupons now in their brochures about catering that offer a FREE 6-inch sub. Free. No strings attached. Just, free.

Where do you get these brochures, you ask?

FROM SUBWAY. RIGHT THERE IN THE RESTAURANT.

You can walk right in, take a brochure, and get a free sandwich, just like that! It's too good, guys. I've already had like four.

Anyways. Been really busy, esp. w/ work. Wednesday was killer, too, with muchly learning, then crazy project-working. I hate group projects, I believe them to be moronic in all but a few cases. How are you supposed to write a 2000-word essay FAIRLY with seven people in a group? Too many goddamn cooks, and the inevitable lazy asshole who does fuck all. Luckily, I didn't get drafted into super-crazy work like I usually do. I think I'm making a handout.

My FACS 2900 class just seems to get worse and worse. Not the material of the course, that stuff is good-- we had an hour-long argument last class over societal change, which I decisively won, creating a small-scale proletarian rebellion in the process-- but my goddamn prof. She's awful. We watched a fuckload of commercials last class, with barely any discussion around them. I really don't like her.

She got 85,000$ from the Feds to do a study. What manner of world is this?

In other news, I win at life. Night pople.

Friday, October 01, 2004


... And that's how I won the frosting-eating contest. 

So I've been absent from the Ape for a good while. I can't say I have a really good excuse. School, work, student union crap; it's all been going very well. I'm rather contented. I kinda got canned at the Citizen Lab, simply because I'm also taking my boss's class, thus creating some issues about conflicts of interest, etc. My solution to this: keep working but without the pay. If I get my name on a few things and get some useful work done that benefits mankind, I'd say it's worth it.

I'm sitting in the CSSU, trying to put a dent in the first assignment for CSC236. Oh freakin' joy. People are getting way too into a game of Super Street Fighter 2; I'm cranking up my MGB to try and drown out the "Hadoooooooken!"'s. Also, there's this Chinese guy who comes in every day and uses our microwave to heat up the worst smelling lunch ever. It's some sort of rice wrapped in a dried leaf, and it smells like wood shavings.

My executive summary of the Kerry/Bush "War on Terror" debate: Kerry cites history, Bush spouts rhetoric. Typical. Some highlights:
  • Bush, referring to Iraq: "...[going from] a place where people get their hands cut off, where people are executed... to a place where people are free" - A place where people are executed, eh George? A place like Texas?
  • Bush, "Of course I know Osama bin Laden was the one who attacked us on Sept. 11 [not Saddam]. Of course I know that."
  • Kerry quotes George Bush Sr.'s book to GWB's face, about having "no exit strategy". A particularly stylish swipe, in my opinion.
Anyway, back to assignments and things. Keep on aping, apers.

Thursday, September 30, 2004


Apology 

I'll post more later, but I think I'll get this out in the open before I go to bed (just in case the phone message isn't passed on). Due to a combination of not wanting to wake up in the morning and being called in for work at 5, I skipped out on meeting Leo on Fri. I'm so sorry! I really thought I had your cell number and that I could call at the time we were supposed to meet just to let you know...but I was obviously wrong. Hopefully this doesn't stop you from rescheduling...pretty please?



Not mine, but I wish it was 


Red Green Blue Murder 

Thank jaerb my week is over. Oi'm gittin' exhausted. The Apprentice wasn't on at 9 tonight. Piss me off. I had a debate with my mom over whether or not its a good show. She argued strongly against Apprentice despite the fact she's only seen five minutes of it. i got ta use Final Cut Pro today to begin editing the rushes (total footage) of Global's Blue Murder as a school assignment. Also I've been getting questions/comments on my now published comic. Unfortunately it's not posted to the internet, so I'll hafta look into why.

So on behalf of Harold and all of us up here at Possum Lodge,
Keep your stick on the ice.


Simpsons Kakistocracy 

I just watched what may well have been the worst Simpsons episode I have ever seen. Seriously. I may well be sworn off Simpsons re-runs for quite some time after this one. What does it say about the kakistocracy (I learned that word from Dan Savage) in charge of writing that show these days when they kill off the cat and bring in a new one exactly the same as the old one at the end of the episode AS A SUBPLOT? They killed off the cat AS A SUBPLOT!?!?!?!?! And this was at 6:00, when they usually play good (i.e., not from the last 7 years) episodes. Sad, indeed.

But I digress. I can't be getting my blood pressure up everytime I see a lousy TV show. I'd be on my 34th heart attack if I did.

New Section:


It's Eddie from Iron Maiden! What better way could there be to segue into talking about zombies? Speaking of zombies, does anyone in the GTA wanna go see Shaun of the Dead this weekend? I can prolly barter you a fair payment, as I have a Will Eisner comic I'd be willing to trade for a movie ticket and a hot dog. Good deal for both parties.

K, that's it for now.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004


Scotty doesn't know 

So I watched Eurotrip a few weeks ago. I wasn't too impressed, not that many funny lines. I mean you can get laughs from any scatalogical/sexual references (though I can't remember any specific scatalogical-based humour in it). Of course, I did have a bit of a hard time hearing/seeing it cause I was behind some people. Oh and the mimefight was awesome. I found a lot of the humour in it were very meta, just looking at the American perception of Europe.

Anyway this is a kinda long rambling way for my question. The song, Scotty Doesn't Know plays a lot in this movie (including as a remix in eastern europe). Now did the song come before or after the movie? By that I mean was it a pre-existing song or did they write it for the movie.

That "Next Blog" feature is really a bad one for my mental health. I really have better things I should be doing with my time. Oh well. I have noticed these blogs fall into 4 main catagories:
1) Spamblog. This is a blog that is literally spam. It has the same type of things posted. I guess they think this is an effective marketing strategy
2) T(w)een girls bitching about their life. This is a huge demographic. Before these thoughts were confined safely to diaries/ugly friends they could impose on. Now they're out there for the whole world to see.
3) Political blogs. There are quite a few of these. Many mix observations from their own life. Most of them are staggeringly dumb.
4) Foreign blogs. Tons of blogs in different languages. Maybe they'd fit into the 3 catagories above. Maybe not.

This isn't a whole synopsis. I mean there are a higher-than-you'd think number of blogs from infertile women. Also lots of blogs with only the word "test" or some similar phrase in it. And some profs have "class blogs". This works about as well as expected.


Two scoops of raisins and all I get are 4 in my bowl?! 

Hey all!!!

Sam, you're my personal hero. I've always wanted to tame a squirrel or a bird. Unfortunately, any injured animals I found were also fairly dead. So.

Well, life has been - interesting - these past few weeks. Er, between work and school and shopping and now Kung Fu (I love it. Absolutely love it. And there's *3* females. Represent, ladies!) I haven't had much time for anything else.

Sad, in a way, that I can sum up nearly a month of mylife in three sentences. OH! I've also been applying for co-op jobs, and for all you non-co-opers, that means that from JANUARY until APRIL/MAY - *I* will be in Toronto! Yeeeah baby. Starting this term I'm on 4 months of school/4 months of work. So, to make up for not seeing any of y'all when I got back...I fully intend to party it up (and I won't hear exams as an excuse. Pah.).

Anyways, take care -
~Ash

Tuesday, September 28, 2004


Fucked up but admirable? 

Shortly after I posted those lyrics (and temporarily killed some of your pictures, sorry about that) I did some research and discovered that Canibus joined the army! It's perplexing, really. It can't be some big publicity stunt because it didn't even get covered by MTV News. In the interview I linked he doesn't even seem to be very gung-ho about the war. He even said, "Sure this is modern America, but it seems so much like ancient Rome." Looking back through his music, there's miltary raps and killing terrorists raps, but he also made a whole song about being a terrorist. Showtime at the Gallows has taken on a whole new meaning. I won't post all the lyrics again, but if you're looking for something "fucked up but admirable" you might want to download that.

Monday, September 27, 2004


Hero of the Beach 

Ladies, form a line on my left for make-outs.
Dudes, form a line on my right for high-fives.

So now I'm a hero. How did I earn this prestigeous title without falling into a well, you ask? The story all starts on the weekend...

I was at my young (2nd) cousin's, who had apparantly found an injured squirrel what had fallen out of a tree or something and nursed it back to health. Problem was, the thing got tamed during the nursing and didn't have the sense to fend for itself or keep away from humans, an' someone accidentally stepped on it. Now we had an injured, domesticated squirrel on our hands with no where to go. Thinking it was at death's door, I offered to take it home an' care for it. Well, the thing seems to have taken to my treatment, so it looks like I saved a life and gained a pet squirrel to boot! Good times.

In other news, I talked with Jade Scanlan of the York Excalibur, an' it looks like my comic's gonna be published! Ain't life grand?

That's about it. I had my acting class today, which is always fun. The guy-girl ratio is about 1-5, which is a plus.

Ok, that's all.

Sunday, September 26, 2004


For Sam 

Sam sometimes posts lyrics on this blog.
Also, these are lyrics I think Sam would appreciate.
Quite long, but worth it.

Canibus
No Return

[Verse One]
Yo, scientists gather in a secret place to debate
They photographed the Earth from space and saw my face
They tried to translate the innate asiatic shape
before the final earthquakes came but it was too late
Only one eighth of the human race escaped to space
They were chased by flying phenomenon to the lunar base
Floatillas and space centers, lasers probed the entrance
DNA code sensors reject old genetics
I presented my cosmic clearance to a patrol of medics
I was injected with sodium pentathol and questioned
I relayed the message the way I was trained to remember it
I showed them the keypad code and told 'em to enter it
I told 'em which alphanumeric buttons were sensitive
He snatched it outta my hand and started depressing it
I told him detonation was definite if he kept at it
He never quit, he just lost his temper and flipped
I bowed my head like "I guess this is it"
My ears popped, the music stopped, and I couldn't hear shit

[Hook]

[Verse Two]
The driver jogged around to the front and opened the door
He said his name was Muhammed Jamal and he'd be with me 'till fall
He said the escort service had called
and a package would be waitin for me at the window
I said thanks, he grabbed my bags fast and put 'em in the trunk
Then he ran around to the front, slammed it in gear
Pulled off slow, winding down his window
and asked me if I minded if he smoke, I said no, he drove off
Cut my cell phone off, then I swallowed a tablet of Zoloft
Went to sleep and woke up feelin' kinda lost
I asked him what the weather's been like lately
he said he doesn't mind the heat and hates the A/C
Said he had a son who was eighteen and made beats
and I happened to be his favorite emcee
I said for real, that's crazy, I meet him later
Yo Jamal could you please do me a favor
When we get to the corner stop at the bodega
Hopped out the car, walked inside
the store's stereo was playin' Feliz Navidad
I got a pack of condoms and walked to the back of the line
There was three Taliban that was talkin' very loud
One reached in his back side and pulled out a Beretta gun
The last word I heard myself say was a four letter one
He looked me in the eye and said the drama's never done
Cuz there's no return...no return

[Hook]

[Verse Three]
I heard the ringtone of the red phone
Headquarters informed us there was an explosion in the red zone
We were ordered to get ready to go
and to get into our bio-weapons protective gear and clothes
I rode shotgun, my partner Ramirez drove
GPS control gave us coordinates where to go
Soon as we got there I could feel the hot air
For a second I stopped and stared, there was cops everywhere
I told 'em we need to get a square perimeter clear
We got an hour 'till nightfall, so light some flares
I said a twenty second prayer then ran to the second chair-
the lift that was there, then I waved my hands up in the air
to signal that it was clear before I ran upstairs
I could barely see, smoke was so thick in the air
I was visually impaired and started to get scared
I heard a woman scream "HELP" but I didn't know where
I started screamin' back "I'm not gonna leave you here"
Sayin to myself "damn it's hard to breathe in here"
Searched the rooms one by one like "fuck my lungs"
Ramirez said the fire truck got stuck by the front
I crawled all the way through the foyer to the end of the hallway
and seen her on the floor next to the doorway
I was half unconscious but I just ignored the pain
Helped her to her feet and she had her arm in a brace
All this tar-like black stuff was all in her face
I radio Ramirez coughin and tried to explain
I heard him say something to me like "It's all in flames!"
There was ceiling debris fallin all over the place
I looked her in her eye, she looked into mine, it was strange
Then I blinked for the last time and never saw her again


Newer, better methods of murdaventure. 

I just bought a Lomographic camera on Saturday. I killed two rolls of film in like an hour, and I'm partway done a third, but determined to make it last.

Just a cursory look through some lomography sites has made it very obvious that there is a humongous following going on here. There are almost weekly lomographical events in Toronto, and a lot of retailers and support... and all the cameras! I need these things. Feel free to buy them for me.


Good Guys, Bad Ideas 

On wednesday last week we got a call from Laurel the programming manager at Trent Radio she told us that out show proposal had been granted. We are to be given the 2-3 time slot on sundays. There are only two musical restrictions imposed on all Trent Radio shows A) 40% of the songs we play must be Canadian B) we can't play any song that has been a Top 40 hit anyime in the past 50 years. Neither of these is a big deal. I went in for my studio training on Friday just to learn what slides, buttons and dials do what, it was pretty simple stuff.

Last week I finally bought Call of Duty and I now realize I should have bought it long ago. I've spent the last week shooting Nazis. The game culminates in a glorious rush to raise the Hammer and Sickle over the Reichstag in Berlin, it was about 3 am before I finished. The triumphant music that played during the Berlin stages almost had me shedding tears of joy.

This yesterday we put together a team for the annual Trent Intermural 3-Pitch Softball Tournament. We got beaten 11-0 and 6-3 in our first two games but won games the next two games by scores of 15-3 and 9-4. I got three home runs and almost had a fourth but I got to greedy and was thrown out at the plate. We were tied for 2nd in our pool but missed the playoffs because the team we were tied with socred more runs. This morning my legs were very sore from all the running yesterday.

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a gorilla with no superego.