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Monday, December 03, 2007


this scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin 

So I've got an exam today (in less than 13 hours).

I think constitutional has warped my brain, like I found this (from my notes) hillarious

• Ontario had all the eggs, Quebec had all the chickens
• Quebec egg producers angry because Ontario dumping excess egg product in Quebec
• Ontario chicken producers angry because Quebec dumping excesss chickens into Ontario
• Both provinces enacted punative legislation to keep out products from other provinces (Ontario keeps out chickens, Quebec keeps out eggs)
• Manitoba, somehow, has surplus in both chickens and eggs and so is shut out of both markets
– Asks Federal government to do something about this but Federal government says “Have you translated any your legislation into French yet?"

Now what with it being exam season and all the London Bus service had a choice:
a): Because there'll be an influx of students trying to get to exams, and because students need to get to exams on time we should put more buses in service around when there'll be exams.
b): Nah, why should we put more buses on, we already have their money from the mandatory bus pass.

Which do you think they picked? Well if you picked b) because you're read my rantings about a heartless bus system you're wrong. Shame on you for thinking the worse of your fellow (wo)man. Actually they picked c: Reduce bus services during exams.

Joy.

Sunday, December 02, 2007


A Garfieldian Interlude 

Well, I should be working on my essay what's due tomorrow, but my mind has begun to wander and I find myself on the internet once more, back in the blogosphere. this'll just be a quick post; I really should be finishing my work.

I came across an interesting article in Vice magazine today (Hooray for lazy Sundays at work!) about this. Basically, a coupla guys started drawing on bar napkins one day to see who could draw the best Garfield, and then that became their thing: they would go to bars, order pitchers and just draw endless variations of Garfield, many of which can be seen on their site (the one I linked earlier in this paragraph). Anyways, the main thing about this that grabbed me, asides from the fact that some of these variations are truly inspired (Little man garfield, legfield, jackpotfield. Others are less good. Be warned), is how much the story of their creation resembles that of our own MT comix. Hell, we were probably doing 'em first! Where's our Vice magazine article, huh?

Anyways, while I'm still on the subject of Garfield (of all things!), if you haven't seen this legendary internet thread, you should check it out. I think Neil Gaiman posts in it at some point. It's been around for a while.

Anyways, I gotta go textually analyze Kenneth Branagh's depiction of the Battle of Agincourt. S'good to be back posting, though.


Kneel was right... 

And it snowed and it snowed and it snowed.

Went over to Bingy's to watch American Gangster yesterday. Good movie, very good movie, not without its flaws. Like lots of gangster movies it kind of sags in the middle and there are a few "why do I need to see this?" scenes. Still, impressive. I would reccomend it.

When the movie was done at nearly 2 a.m. I discovered that there'd been some snowfall while we'd been occupied. Ne'erth'less, I decided to brave the weather and make the hike to Bathurst and College where I would wait for the beuuus with the drunken yahoos.
When I got outside I saw that my task was going to be a little tougher than I anticipated. It was still snowing hard and the wind was intense. I started trekking down to College, just looking at my feet, because you couldn't really look up without getting snow in your eyes, despite whatever your eyelashes had to say about it. I was walking for what felt like forever and at one point I finally decided to look up. I was only at Lord Lansdowne school. I had walked, like, one block.
Well, as I made my way along College, it was a little better because the wind was at my back. But people in the streets were just goin' bananas. Imagine all the 20-summats crawling out of their Kensington Market warrens just after last call and directly into a blizzard! The hollering was intense and indistinguishable.

I made it all the way to Bathurst, I considered crawling into "Bistro 422" or Sneaky's, but it was after last call, what would I do? Order a tea and wait for the storm to end? No, thought I, I shall brave it on public transportation. If Kneel was here we could split a cab. Fuck it, I could flag down a cab myself. On seeing that the next bus/streetcar wasn't scheduled to come for another 17 minutes, I said I'd walk up to Bloor, flag a cab perhaps. No cab did come with a light on.The gale was awful walking North. Just splinteringly cold. I pulled my jacket over my mouth and my toque just above my eyes. There was a procession of Nothern bound 20-summats. I passed two really tall girls and then this guy. It was like I was being sprayed with tiny icicles. If I had a celly, I could call for a cab. But, I thought, it would be best to abort this mention and go back to Benji's if possible. I turned East on Harbord and made my way to this killer-old payphone that didn't have a working display. "It will not work" I thought. I picked up the phone and there was indeed a dial tone. I put in the 50 Cent and called Benji. "He has gone to bed. He will have turned off his celly," I worried.

Benji picked up after two rings. I explained the horrors of the storm and asked for asylum. He did grant it. I walked back East, getting the very worst of the wind. For some reason I found it was easier to angle my head slightly to the left than face it head on. There was no one on the street. At this little chichy (sp?) bistro they were having a private party with well-dressed 30 year olds. A couple was getting a cab, but most of them inside looked content to continue the party. It took a long time to get to Spadina, sometimes there were no people-tracks on the sidewalk. Finally, I made it back to Benji's, he was waiting at the door.

I slept on the floor. Benji had set up a couple blankets on the carpet for me. A pillow had been fashioned from a hooded sweatshirt. I lied down in my jeans with my arms across my chest. "Man, I am too sober for floor-sleeping," thought I. I grabbed my jacket and draped it over myself. Falling asleep was tough because every now and then a draft would sweep by the floor. I woke up a couple times in the night with cramping neck pains and once when I needed to pee.

And now my poor spine has to shovel snow.

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a gorilla with no superego.