03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
So I saw the most horrible man ever on the bus this morning. I was awed and appalled. He was with his six year old son and dog. Here are some things he did.
1) Spilled coffee on his dog and his son.
2) yanked the dog by his collar repeatedly, once right up onto the seat (forcing the dog up).
3) Started squeezing the dog's face and repeating many times "you're stupid".
4) Slap the dog for no reason.
5) I only heard a snippet of the conversation (monologue) he was having with his 6 year old son, but it went like this. "I'm not into fiction. What I would do is journalistic stuff. About the people I know. Drug addicts, musicians, people who have been in jail."
Hant done a full post in a while cause I been away editin' and drinkin' non-stop. Mostly editin' and shootin'. More rounds in a giant worm costume. Guess who got hit in the face with a rock this morning for art? That's right, me. And even with 2 inch foam padding it was quite a smack.
Also, I dint want to make a post until I got these muthafuckas ready. Enjoy.
okay so apparently none of those links worked Imma try this once more.
sketchy dude 1
sketchy dude 2
sketchy dude with stanley cup
If they don't work just go to the site and browse, you'll be entertained. The pictures I wanted to post are on pages 4,9 and 11, but they are all pretty bizarre.
Remember the link I posted to www.sorryeverybody.com ?It was dedicated to liberal Americans who wanted to apologize to the rest of the world for re-electing GWB. Well the rest of the world got the message and responded with sympathy by creating www.apologiesaccepted.com. Republican supporters in the U.S. also got the responded with www.yourewelcomeeverybody.com. There was a frightening abundance of scary looking guys and guns and scary lloking guys with guns. Like this winner. You'd think it was America that was over run with armed invaders. Does anyone else think this guy could work at a gay bar? As a hockey fan and a Canadian this picture bothered me. Lord Stanley of Preston was the Governor General of Canada from 1888-1893 when Canadian and British military leaders were still creating defense plans in the event of an American invasion of Canada (if that happened Indian and Australia troops would invade California).
Most of the messages have themes of "Voted for freedom, liberty, morality and sovereignty" (who's sovereignty?) "Fuck France", "fuck the homos" and "fuck the pussy liberals"
On a less depressing note this morning I played road hockey in our league. I was the goalie and played better than I expected considering I haven't played in net since grade 8.
So I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed cause it was freezing in my room. Admittedly that was my fault, I had my window open to help the air circulate. I've had it open for a while, seemingly not having realized it's winter (or pre-winter rather). That's why I've been wearing my sweater inside, again not realizing I could've dispensed with the sweater had I closed my window. So now the window is closed (the sweater's still on, it's still pretty chilly in here).
I was reading my econ textbook today and they had a line "The monopoly outcome in this market occurs where marginal revenue equals cost, which occurs at a market output of 45 units, and the corresponding monopoly price is $55". Not very interesting. But there's a footnote to it which says: "You should verify this for yourself!" I love how they're on the last chapter and they're really gotten tired of writing it. I can see the author in my mind, scrambling to complete it at 4:00 am the night before, he goes to do the problem and goes "Fuck it, let's the brats to it themselves".
Speaking of economics in class today we were doing game theory and my prof was like, "Indiana Jones is an idiot. In the ending of the Last Crusade is does something increbidly stupid from a game theory perspective. He drinks the cup himself, which is the worst thing he could do. If he picked right, then it's the same outcome if he gave it to his dad. But if he picks wrong then they both die, as opposed to just the old man".
Incidentally, here's how you win at Chicken (Chicken was one of the games we disscussed along with the prisoner's delimma etc): rip out your own steering wheel and wave it high so he can see it. That way he knows you can't swerve away and thus cannot chicken out. Often in negotiations weakness is strength, by limiting your own options you can improve your lot.
Has anyone else noticed how fat the animals in this city are getting? Seriously. I was walking to work and I saw some of the fattest squirrels I'd ever seen. It through me off for a sec, but then I was like "Okay, they're going into hibernation soon. They're just storing up." This was acceptable to me for a while, until I came across an entire flock of morbidly obese pidgeons. We're talking The Birds numbers here. Anyways, this is an open message to all Torontonian wildlife:
LOSE SOME WEIGHT, YOU FAT HOGS!
Also, for anyone who's interested, The Onion AV Club has just put up an interview with Nick Cave, former frontman of The Birthday Party, a band I coincidentally started downloading the songs of a coupla months ago. Pretty good music, if you like macabre humour.
And I'm out of material!
I went out drinkin' Monday night, late like, didn't sleep well, and didn't get to sleep until like 1.30am last night. Technically, I had class at 8.30 this morning, but you wouldn't have known that by my activities between that time and 10.30, when my class ends:
9.46: Go pee. Much better.
9.49: Back to sleepin'.
You can guess the rest. I woke up in time to be late for my 12.30 lab. But I am refreshed like crazy.
I've rediscovered my old Foo Fighters albums and they rock so hard. Could this be a devolution back to my old post-grunge stuff? Stay tuned to see if I whip out my Our Lady Peace.
So I have had a good weekend and morning. On the weekend I rented the first disc of the Critic, It's hilarious. Apparently everyone else in the world has heard of this before, but I never have, though I knew something like it had to exisit. Its the show where the film critic who was on the simpsons is from. Anyways, it's hilarious.
Also last night I hung out with some friends and we played zombies till like 2 am, which is not in itself newsworthy. However afterwards we were bored so we decided to pull a prank. One person suggested we saran wrap another friends bike, I suggested we duct tape it. With that we were off to sobeys to get duct tape. With phase one sucsefully complete we went and duct taped the bike, which was locked to a pole, so it was suspened four feet off the ground. Having completed our mission I went to bed at 4am, secure in the knowledge I had a 10 am test today I had not studied for.
I just got back from the test, and I killed it.
In closing I know my stunt isn't anywhere near so good as the shit sam's been pulling, but I tried. (Also I will try to post a pic when they are developed!)
I wrote an essay about why blockbusters are technically driven these days the other day....it took quite some effort but I think I did well.
I got locked in my own washroom here on rez the other week. Our washroom door handle is pretty loose and I couldn't get the latch to open when I twisted the knob. Eventually, I had to wake up my drug dealing room mate to help me jimmy the door open!
I just noticed somebody is impersonating me, what the fuck. Show yourself.