03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
Hey, I'm basically just dropping you Apers a line, letting you know that I'll be in Toronto this Saturday to check out my new apartment and do some hanging out. I'll pro'lly be downtown shopping for a bit in the afternoon, then the plan is to go to the Marche for din-din. If anyone wants to have dinner with me and a couple of friends, or just wants to meet up and hang out, let me know!
As I was coming out of the 7-11 last night some lady was sitting in her chunky SUV with the engine idling. Leaving your car idling is among my Top Ten Pet Peeves so I lean over to her open window and have this conversation:
GreenBox: Exuse me ma'am would you mind turning your engine off while you wait?
Lady: Leave me alone, it's a free country
GreenBox: That's true but that doesn't mean you can senselessly pollute the air that we all have to breathe. Would it kill you to turn your fucking engine off?
Lady: Go away my husband is coming.
GreenBox: You mean the sunburned gorilla?
(I swear to gawd this man looked like he was wearing a black sweater under his filthy tank top. The enormous gut really made him look like a gorilla. He also needed an introduction to the miracle of sunscreen. The skin not covered by body hair was bright red)
Gorilla/Tomato: Hey kid leave my wife alone. You lookin' for trouble?
GreenBox: Not at all sir, I was merely explaining to the lady how thinking about people like you two keeps me skinny. Have a good evening.
Gorilla/Tomato: HEY FUCK YOU PUNK! YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY! WHY YOU WALKIN' AWAY?! FUCK YOU!
I think it was a combination of the smog, the constant site of people in polluting vehicles and the awfulness of this couple that made me want to pick on them.
My dad and I watched Horatio Hornblower on TVO, it was Royal Navy-riffic!
Ok. So chances are like 90% I'm coming in to TO this Thursday w/ Awenda Girl in which case we should do the Lab I think. I'll call two of y'all tomorrow to confirm this, yeh.
Up here... 'sbeen good. I'm a little down right now. I think I just need to shake things up a little. TO shall do me well. Yeh.
So I stumbled into the kitchen this morning where The View was on the television. I don't like the View. Those ladies are fucking morons. As Box put it, "they're like a pack of makeup-wearing hyenas". Anyway, their guests this morning were a few folks from Exodus Youth. Weary enough given the name alone? You'll be pleased to find out that their mission seems to be to un-gayify people in the name of the Lord Jebus Christ. Yes folks, it doesn't get any better than this.
Exodus affirms that reorientation of same sex attraction is possible. This is a process, which begins with motivation to, and self-determination to change based upon a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We facilitate resources for this process through our member ministries, other established networks and the Church.
Wonder what they're planning to do about the gay penguins who may or may not be running for office.
Apparently not satisfied enough with robbing the world of peace, the U.S. is now trying to rob the world of cool, half-human, half-canine monstrosities. It may be too late for the states, but Canada still has hope. I urge everyone who reads this to write their MP in favour of human-chimerization.
I will have my scorpion tail!
Last night I had a dream where I was sitting reading the newspaper with someone and they were reading an article with the headline "AFTER 15 YEARS ZOO EMPLOYEES STILL HAUNTED BY MONKEY RIOTS". My friend read aloud the article which explained that in 1989 a group of children from West End Parents Day Care had gone on a field trip to the Toronto Zoo. The article said that an unamed youth (their identity was protected by the Young Offenders Act) began throwing rocks into the spider monkey cage and imitate the noises of the spider monkeys. According to Patrick Johansen, the zoo keeper happened to be inside the cage doing regular cleaning, "the boy seemed to be speaking to the spider monkeys in their own language". The monkeys began throwing their feces at the school children, the day care staff and other zoopatrons. Witnesses said that the monkeys swarmed Johansen, dragged him to the ground, stole his keys and released themsleves. The people outside the cage ran in terror as the herd of monkeys unlocked enclosures containing other primates. After several hours of chaos the monkeys seemed to have a suden change of heart and promtly returned to their cages.
As this article was being read to me I had the sneaking sucpicion that I had been the unamed youth from West End Parents Daycare. When I woke up I had to do a half dozen interenet searches which none of which revealed any sort of monkey riot in 1990. Mayhaps I'm like a parseltongue but who can talk to the monkeys. SWEET!