03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
Huzzah to Matt being alive, and also, the Nas concert, which is so fucking expensive. I'd like to go but Je-fucking-sus. It hurts just thinkng about spending that much money on a concert.
Today, however, was free. Me an' Sam hit up the Drake for Found Magazine's book tour. Found Magazine is this wonderful little publication that reprints scraps of paper that people find lying around. Mostly humourous, sometimes touching, always interesting. Also, the founder of the magazine's brother played some songs inspired by these scraps, with such memorable titles as "Damn, The Booty Don't Stop". A good time for all.
I read about a web site offering to marry off Canadians to Americans so they can secure Canadian citizenship. It was originally intended as a joke, but after the election it became a serious forum. One Torontonian said he wouldn't mind if a few gay Americans came to live with him. Another said that to save all the liberals we might want to legalize polygamy and polyandry.
After the results of the election I had a dream where I was cruising through Texas in a van, murdering Christian evangelists as I went and burning entire towns to the ground, becoming a nameless scourge that struck fear into the hearts of inbred hicks everywhere. Desperately trying to reduce the number of conservative voters. Impractical as it was, I enjoyed it immensely.
I didn't expect Kerry to win, but it was still a huge blow to me when he lost. On the bright side, if I ever DO want to go on a rampage, I'll know which states to hit, and which counties. Now that I think of it, it seems almost inevitable that Kerry would lose. The entire campaign became a bog of trivial issues. Stem-cell research and abortion laws and gay marriage are important, but there was more urgent stuff to focus on, here. I'm not sure exactly how many thousands of people have died since the Bush family began warring against Iraq, nobody bothers to count non-americans, but the number is staggeringly large, so I am always filled with rage whenever I read in the paper that Americans believe they chose the best president to tackle the "moral issues" of America. I could write a goddamn BOOK detailing the "moral issues" of America, and none of their concerns would even be near the top of the list. It has been made clear that the majority of Americans are obsessed with returning to what they consider to be the Golden America. I am of course speaking of the fifties, quite possibly the shittiest decade of the twentieth century (bar the world wars). The only good things that came out of the fifties are those things that OPPOSE the values of the fifties. I don't feel real hatred often, but I'm feeling it now, vast amounts of it.
On a lighter note, this post proves that I am still alive, in case Leo's post failed to dispel any doubts. I am applying to get Saturdays off of work from now on. I may actually see sunlight next month. I have a PS2 now, so Guilty Gear has featured largely in my free time. I'll post again soon, but right now I'm tired. Bye all.
Nothing like a healthy serving of political outrage to kick this blog up a notch. Bam.
Anyways, I come with other news.
Beastie Boys . ACC . Monday Nov, 8 - Tix $36.50 - $56.00
I'm pretty ambivalent about this. I don't think I'll go unless I have a change of heart. $36.50 to sit up in the stands feels wrong.
Nas . Kool Haus . Sat Dec. 11 - Tix $39.50
Now, it's still too expensive, but damn it, it's a club show at least and Nas is my favourite at the moment, so I think I'll go to this one.
Anyone else feel a bit queasy knowing that two crucial states, Florida and Ohio, were using electronic voting machines?
Voting machines that were banned in California because they had malfunctioned during the primaries?
Voting machines made by Diebold, whose CEO said a year ago that he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president"?
Hmm. And then there's this little thing. I rest my case.
I wanted to belive that most Americans were good liberal people, just slightly misguided. Now I know 51% of them are ass pirates. On wednesday morning I saw the announcement that Kerry had conceded. Then they went to the news and the first story went "American jets pounded Bagdad again today....There are reports of a Tet style offensive that would over run the secure Green Zone....a car bomb blew up in a crowded market killing dozens of innocent Iraqis" You stupid ign'ant fuckers, look what you've gotten yourselves BACK into.
Oh yeah CTV ran a story on the evening news about disgrunted, middle class Democrats who are looking into immigrating to Canada. Immigration Canada reported that it's website got 500% more hits from America than it usually gets.
I was hating the midwest WAY before it was cool. Stupid landlocked cattle.
Just so you know the score.
Let the recriminations begin!
John Kerry was a terrible candidate. If the Republicans could've invented a democratic challanger it's hard to see how they could've made one better for them. I mean he's a Massachutats flip-flopping french-speaking liberal married to a foreign billionaire. The commercials practically write themselves. And he compounded that by the terrible campaign he ran. The Swift Boat thing completely blindsided him and he let the election be about John Kerry. If he could've made the election about George Bush he would've won. Pretty much any of the serious candidates for the Dem nomination could've won, Dean certainly could've. But Iowa picked him and because of the way the Democratic primary callender had been jiggered with, set him off to be nominee. Then they went for Bush. Thanks a lot, Iowa
And the people he picked to run it! Bob Shrum. A man who out of 7 previous Presidential races had lost all of them (0 for 8 now). I mean when there's even a term for him loosing–"The Shrum Curse"–maybe he shouldn't run your campaign. He got some Clinton people at the end, but it was too little too late.
And also gay marriage was a killer. The Massachutats supreme court couldn't have waited till after the election? 11 anti-gay initatives and they all pass. More importanly, it went something like 67-33 in Ohio. Ohio was a squeaker, I'm sure that the gay marriage thing made the difference.
Oh and Michael Moore told me (via Leo) that a bunch of youth voters were gonna show up and we just didn't see it cause they only had cellphones. Well they didn't, same % of the electorate as last time.
And here's a new map of North America:
PS- Good news about the scanner. Sam, can I use some of your comics in my newspaper as well.
From the London News Review:
You stupid, good-for-nothing, hick fucks, sitting there in your stretchy trousers, wrapped in your stars and stripes, clutching at each others’ fat hands and singing God Bless America while your blessed commander-in-fucking-chief sells the world for a quick buck. You whooping twits, sucking up the lies like mother’s milk. You stupid stupid fucks. You deserve to die. Choke on your fat-burgers you cretinous losers. Fuck you all. Sorry - fuck y’all. Do you understand that? You cow-brained pricks.
This is, in all honesty, the best editorial reply I have ever read. It's only an excerpt, (here's the rest
My friends down at the armoury as well as politics profs are saying that we can soon expect the invasion of Syria, Bush has been laying the groundwork for a while. I'm predicting exodus of draft age men to Canada. The question being: does PMPM have the balls to allow them to stay or will he bend over like a prison bride and send them to their inevitable deaths in the desert.
After the election we hoped Kerry would stall long enough to issue a fatwa against Bush and a call to arms of liberals world wide. Civil War II anyone?
Those monks should totally be in the next Indiana Jones movie, starring 62 year old Harrison Ford. You can learn some great things from IMDB: Harrion Ford bio and some things you'd rather not know
There goes the neighbourhood.
I feel really bad for Paul Martin. He has got to be in the hardest position a PM has been in in a long time, between a big rock and 30 million hard places.
And to make matters worse, Subway has gotten wise to my ultimate scam. No longer do they accept my wonderful little coupons. I feel sad, and hungry for subs. But new shoes make me feel better, somewhat.
I learned about this creeptastic order of monks in class the other day, and I just gotta share it up here. The Cappuccin order was founded some time in the 16th century in Rome. You may recognize them for sharing their name with Cappuccinos, which are called so because their foamy peaks are not unlike the peak in the Cappuccin monks' hoods. Unlike some of the other orders that rose at the time, they were very unworldly, and didn't interfere with events outside of their monastaries. And when they died, they built cathedrals out of their bones.
Which is pretty cool. To say the least.
And I seriously thought Kerry was going to win.
The American people have a lot of blood on their hands now. They weren't responsible for the actions of the unelected, first round, 'loose cannon' Bush, but by re-electing him they have retroactively condoned everything that's happened in the last three years, plus given W free reign for the next four. Maybe if the Democrats had run Clinton against Bush, things would be a little better. Vote Clinton for SEX!
And now, something to take your minds off of the hardships to come. My comic.
P.S. Jacob - my sister promised she'd give me my scanner back soon, so if you're serious, I'd be happy to email you some comics as soon as I can.
Sorry for the double post, but you bitches haven't said anything in a few days.
So it looks as if we're boned. Bush has won. Four more years of embarassment and Pax Americana.
Then again, why change horsemen mid-apocalypse?