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Friday, February 11, 2005


Apropos of Nothing 

I've been reading alot of Ambrose Bierce lately, after getting a collection of his short stories for christmas and picking up The Devil's Dictionary for $3.00. Anyways, I was perusing the dictionary (a satirical book), and came upon a definition I thought I would share with the group.

Freemasons, n. An order with secret rites, grotesque ceremonies and fantastic costumes, which, originating in the reign of Charles the II, among working artisans of London, has been joined successively by the dead of past centuries in unbroken retrogression until now it embraces all the generations of man on the hither side of Adam and is drumming up distinguished recruits among the pre-Creational inhabitants of Chaos and the Formless Void. The order was founded at different times by Charlemagne, Julius Caeser, Cyrus, Solomon, Zoroaster, Confucius, Thothmes and Buddha. Its emblems and symbols have been found in the Catacombs of Paris and Rome, on the stones of the Parthenon and the Chinese Great Wall, among the temples of Karnak and Palmyra and in the Egyptian Pyramids - always by a Freemason.

Says it all, really.


Gay Penguins! 

Apparently (here's another link about it) there are a bunch of gay penguins in Germany. I think it's great. Truth is stranger than fiction.


Ben Slurrrrrs 

That would be clever if you knew his name: Ben Sures. Aha. I am ever so funny.

Anyhoo.

I emailed him thursday evening (dog handling dictates that you make the person wait at least 24 hours FROM THE TIME YOU READ THE EMAIL)...and left him an opening to let me know that he'd be in town next week.

So he emailed me back at 2:30 last night (according to the email time...I was dead asleep at that point) and the words are a jumbled hack job as he tries to relate that he WILL be back in town.

I just closed my email and shook my head.

So now that THAT is over, and my teenybopper fantasies are crushed forever, because wouldn't Jeff Martin be a drunkard too (good lord, he actually is, I had connections at the Kool Haus) I get to go back to...I don't know, whatever I obsess over when I'm not obsessing over musicians.

Alan Rickman probably isn't a drunkard, eh? His liver probably couldn't take it...and his heart, his poor old heart...

Thursday, February 10, 2005


Fear will keep the local systems in line 

I had a funny conversation with Aaron the other day.
Me: Don't you have an older sister?
Him: Nope, younger.
Me: Really I thought you had an older sister.
Him: No, I have a younger sister. You've met her.
Me: I always thought she was older. I mean I've met her a bunch of times. She blogs on ape.
Him [slowly]: Ashley is not my sister.
[awkward silence]
Me: Oh! Yeah, I thought that was kinda weird.

Talking about weird, it's really uncanny how at the intersections near my house the cars have always all left just by the time the light changes. And my "uncanny" I mean "good traffic management". Now this is uncanny.

Today I had another science experiment on me. They had my blindfolded, touching someone's face for about an hour. She'd make different expressions and I'd have to guess what they were. I scored 50% the first time around but in the second round I got 80%, above average (I was great at sensing fear, 100%! Make of that what you will). I told the researcher that it was a really great blindfold and she was like "It is! I'm thinking about buying one. [beat] For plane travel". I made $10 but that's all going to settle my debt with TD (I managed to bargain them down to $20 instead of $43.25).


Bet you ain't never heard of 


Vanity Post 

Monday night was Catch 23. Bether than the first time I went. Very solid. I think I only ranked two or three scene less than a four.
Last night was Mista Mo. Not quite as good. He was performing for FREE at York and it was for a dvd taping and it was pretty spotty.

This morning I started an experiment.
Begin date: Feb. 9, 2005. Close date: Feb. 20, 2005.
Hypothesis:
I can grow a "chin-strap" or "Lincoln beard" that will look good.
Observations:
Day 1: Shaving a straight line is hard. It's a good thing I am an okay draw-er or I wouldn't even be able to attempt this.
Not convinced I like it.
Definitely willing to give it a shot.

The rule of the experiment is that I'm not allowed to shave it off until the 20th even if I want to, because if I do, I will not have given the chin strap a fair chance.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Um, one other thing... 

He's a little bit...older.

Everyone in Red Rock thought I was ~24 (don't ask me, I don't know)...

But even then he's still a little...old.

Like. Alot.

And now I am just creeped out, now that I think about it.

--- in my defense, he's not as old as Rickman. ;)


I wrote a fanfic like this...back in the day... 

Except that it involved the main character getting shot by a jealous ex-girlfriend. Of the other guy the character slept around with, not the one she ended up with.

Oh grade 9.

So my situation is thus:

I haven't had internet for three days. I get on today and check my email, and one of the musicians I met at the folk festival this summer EMAILED me. Not only that, he said he was going to be in Toronto and gave me his cellphone number.

A teenyboppers fantasy.

Unfortunately, the day he was in Toronto, was today. And I spent it in a pool of my own snot. How hot is that? Damn immune system. So I missed him...but he's going to be coming back next week. On a tuesday. So the question is...do I contact him??(email, not phone. Gah.)

And even then...how do I make sure I'm not hurtin'?

Ack. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all have been one big fever hallucination.

Monday, February 07, 2005


Superb Owl 

Yesterday was the Super Bowl a.k.a the Freedom Bowl. The game was played between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. The irony is that these two Yankee blue state teams were playing in red state Florida, and the theme of this years spectacle was "Building Bridges". Of course the whole thing was one big patriotic circle jerk with red white and blue splattered anywhere the camera could reach. During the pre-game festivities FOX broadcast a video montage of the Declaration of Independence being read by NFLers, politicians and people from groups with ominous names like Focus on the Family, American Council for Reconciliation and the Family Values Coalition. And what would the Super Bowl be without a gang of tired looking vetrans being trotted out on to the field like a bunch of show dogs. Continuing with the theme of Building Bridges, Clinton and Bush Sr. joined the TV analysts for some non-partisan football talk.

Also during the pre-game show were performances by some country singer I'd never heard of and the Chalie Daniels band. After a commercial break the Black Eyed Peas prerformed with Earth, Wind and Fire "one of the world's most enduring and adored R&B groups". Apparently this was supposed to represent the broad generational and cultrual appeal of the Super Bowl. But what irked me were the crowd shots. During the country and fiddle portion the camera showed almost exclusively attractive white college girls (most wearing cowboy hats), when the Black Eyed peas took the stage the camera showed a very different crowd that was suddenly dominated by black people. What gives?

This promised to be a very family friendly event to make up for last years Nipplegate fiasco (AARGH BOOBIES!). Sir Paul McCartney was the half time show and he was appropriately old, white, uncontroversial and safe, in other words, lame.

The Eagles lost because they didn't love freedom enough.


Eichmann and Iraq 

Wow..Lot's to think about,I considered doing this as a comment to Dave's post but realized I had too much to say...now where to begin...I can really appreciate the Eichmann analogy. Last year in politics we learned about techne and phronesis, techne is the dark side of rational thought, where "how?" technical questions are all that most of society cares about. Adolph Eichmann is a shining example of what happens when we ignore the phronesis, "why?" part of our brain, that's the part that asks the moral/ethical questions. In her book Bannality of Evil, based on her experiences at Eichmann's trail in Israel in the 1960's, Hannah Arendt argued that Eichmann wasn't a monster now was he a brainwashed drone, he was a sterile, brutally efficient bureaucrat in charge of the Final Solution whose job was finding the cheapest, fastest, most efficient way to kill millions of people. Example: early on they tried killing people by putting them in the back of a truck and driving from Point A to Point B while pumping in carbon manoxide exhaust. But this didn't work because it didn't always kill the intended victims which meant that soldiers at Point B had to unload people who were still alive and then had to be dispatched, this process made the soldiers physically and morally sick (Side Note: the Nazis used the fact that their soldiers felt morally sick when unloading not quite dead people as proof of the moral superiority of the German race). So Eichmann designed a system based on Ford's assembly lines and which used a new more deadly gas called Xyclone B.

The American "technocrats" in 2001 were displaying the some of same behavior that Eichmann and his cronies were showing 60+ years ago. If one were to continue with the Nazi analogy (but staying far away from the Bush = Hitler line which I hate), I suppose that would make the 9/11 conspirators the modern day equivalent of the Jews who fought in the Warsaw ghetto. By re-electing Bush last November they re-affirmed their support for a war criminal. While comparisons of death toll are generally repulsive and serve only a limited function it was interesting to note that 7.5 mil. Americans would have to die to proportionally equal the approximate number of Iraqi dead, mind you this was written in 2001 before the deaths of another 100 000 Iraqis in Gulf War II. BTW I believe that every president, Veep, sec. of state, sec. of defense and top echelon military brass since WWII should all be tried as war criminals. If that ever happened they would all be convicted and executed, thus making the world a much better place.

I can't discuss America any more, outrage is a lost cause and it's too exhausting.

Oh yeah who's Paul Zahn and why's he such a fucking dick?

Sunday, February 06, 2005


I am silently judging you from afar. 

I got the judge job two nights runnin' this week, plus I get to head ref for the dagron zone or some such on th' Monday up-coming (not tomorrow). I am a little bit nervous about that, but I have been laden with (virtual) reams of literature and an informative, if not as hip or funny as it tries to be, dvd. This is shit what Glenda had that we NEVER got to see. What the fuck. This would have helped so much. She didn't even give it to us after we kicked her out for bein' a powermonger! Although, in retrospect, that's not a surprise.

Tomorrow night is Catch23's second birthday. I expect you to be there if at all possible. I have been told there will be cake.


America's New Public Enemy #1 

You might've seen this in the American media, but might not have. Professor Ward Churchill of Colorado University Boulder wrote a controversial essay/book which questions the innocence of the victims of the World Trade Center bombings. He's recently come under fire for this essay, so much so that the university is reviewing his position on the faculty; he's already had a speaking engagement at a college in upstate NY cancelled and has stepped down as Chair of the Ethnic Studies program. This is apparently what free speech entails in modern day America.

I won't quote his essay because I fear quoting the wrong parts out of context. I watched that bitch Paula Zahn (transcript here) attack him without letting him get a word in edge-wise, in fact ignoring almost everything he had to say (what's the point of an interview, then?). So I'll just point you at the essay itself and let you come to your own conclusions.

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a gorilla with no superego.