03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
Word to your mother! (ok so maybe that's post 80's but it's the same mentality so bear with me) Today we watched a two-part episode of Transformers from 1986. Megatron was trying to steal some new super fuel from the Autobots, but the Autobots rule the road so Megatron steals some cars and trucks and forms the Destunticons. Megatron and the DeSTUNTicons go to the planet Cybertron to get them independent personalities from the master computer that created all the transformers. Then the go back to earth and attack some fuel depot. I think at this point the Autobots who had followed them to Cybertron so they fixed up some abandoned jets, chased them back to earth and saved the day, or something like that. We've got two more VHS tapes of Transformers!
Then I watched Eddie Murphy's Delirious act from 1983. He was at the top of his game then! It was a huge audience, it looked like a hockey arena. He was wearing red leather pants and jacket. I suppose that was the style back then.
And just for good measure I've got Rafael standing on top of my monitor with some angry looking orange wombat that came with a killer kangaroo, one of those random made-for-merchandise characters.
I didn't. Well I did, but nothing this cool.
The Hardee's Monster Thickburger.
1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. The company calls it "not a burger for tree-huggers." The Center for Science in the Public Interest calls it "food porn". The reason I bring this up is because I thought of a connection between burgers and lesbian porn. Well veggie burgers anyway. Today my veggie burger was made out of chicken, Well it looked like the other chicken burgers, looked like chicken on the inside and tasted like chicken (I had someone else do that). I'd pretty much call that chicken. The people insisted it was vegatarian, but I still didn't eat it. It was then when the connection came in. Just like there are two different types of lesbian porn there are two different types of veggie burger. There's lesbian porn for lesbians and then there's lesbian porn for straight guys. The lesbian porn for straights stars "lesbians" who do not look like any in the real world because they feature made-up, armpitted-shaved blondes (uh, so I've heard). The point is, I guess, that these are just straight girls who happen to be having sex with each other. So to are there veggie burgers that are designed to look like meat. They taste like meat, they look like meat, they are textured like meat. But there's no meat. I far prefer the more 'organic' school of veggie burgers (just as there's a more 'organic' school of lesbian porn) where it is clear that they are not meat and are made of vegatables.
Speaking about food, I made beer bread the other day. I stumbled across a recipe on the internet and there was a bottle of beer that had been sitting in the fridge for a while (confiscated beer that my parents sent up). It was really easy just a bottle of beer, baking soda, suger, flour and 40 minutes in the oven. Good, but a little chewy.
Incidentally that survey site we were answering questions for has published it's study! And yours truly is quoted in it:
Blogger [My name removed to keep it off search engines --ed] laments that, “The function of the average blog would seem to be to allow fourteen year old girls inflict terrible poetry on the Internet.” (2004)
I'm very happy to be in a published (well I hope it gets published) paper. Of course I'm slightly misquoted which makes my grammer a little garbled (I orginally had "let" instead of "allow")
leo, word to your mother: usually the orthodontist gives you soft wax to put on the pointy bits of the brackets to prevent scraping... but you can always go buy some from like, a crafts store... that's what we did when I ran out of wax... but then it's all colorful and eye-catching. but yeah. wax.
also, this whole comics business is really kinda.. unfortunate.. um.. I'm interested in hearing your response.
well, brownies are done, home movies is on... life couldn't be better.
see y'all around, probably.
I'm sure that this will cause just as much, if not more, controversy than Leo's comic.
So, some of you know, some of you don't, that one of my comics was not appreciated by a reader of Excalibur. She wrote a letter to the editor to voice her issues about said comic. I read that letter when she first wrote it, shortly after the printing of the comic. It just got published today in Excalibur. I'll get the comic in question onto XWP so you can see what she's referencing in this letter. I wrote my own response to her letter and that should be in Excalibur next week.
I've had this on my mind for about a month now, so I'm actually kind of relieved it's getting aired out now.
Well there was a cold, cold rain today that coated the sidewalks with ice. A lot of it. I've fallen on my ass twice, and almost fallen bunches of times. It's funny to see everyone shuffling along, or at least it was before the trips there and back started adding up. When I was lying on the ground one time I remembered this dream I had a few nights ago. Sam invited a bunch of people to stay in my house and they were real assholes. I didn't like that very much (I remember being pretty upset). There was also a weird acronym that I forgot.
When I was drinking on saturday we came up with the word "pomosexual" (For POst MOdern). I can't remember actually how we defined it but it sounded like something interesting. Speaking of drinking, The Economist says the average Briton consumes 11.2 liters of pure alcohol a year (that's about 680 bottles of 5% beer).
I've become the most domestic girl on the face of the earth. Yesterday during a spare I sighed as I thought of the vaccuming I could be getting done at home. WTF? Yeah, I'm as afraid as you are. Hopefully I won't be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen the next time I post.
Oh, and Leo, your mom might find this site helpful.
Oi vey. Watched 'Sleepover' tonite, it's about one special night for four grade 8 girls. It starred the girl from the Spy kids movies. It was so awful and cliche and awful. The lead girl and her friends beat the mean older girls in a scavenger hunt and win a spot at the cool kids lunch area by the fountain (what kind of school has a giant fucking fountain out in front?!). While the girls who lose have to eat by the dumpster with the dweebs and the skitzos. Throughout the caper the girls are followed by three sk8r bois, one of whom looks like a retarded prepubescent hobbit. The highlight came at the end when the sad lonely D.U.F.F. finally got to dance with the cute roley poley high school boy she met earlier. It was painful to watch but once started we couldn't turn away.
This is no 'Mean Girls'.
-Every D.U.F.F. has her day-
So my video pitch was not successful. That hit me pretty hard. And then someone said I could be in her group and then kicked me out when the girl she more wanted to work with agreed to do it. Now I'm in no group because one guy signed himself up for two groups and now we're seeing which group he chooses and therefore which one is stuck with me. (you're not even allowed to do that) *SIGH* What a bunch of pricks. So I hit rock bottom on monday but i'm feeling better now even though i'm still not in a group and i'm totally cynical about everything.
But fuck video, we have comics. That's cheaper than video. (Unless you count time as money). Apple for Mondo by Leo and Jenna just has to be inked now and it'll be ready to kill. I'll even get it internetted on Xtreme Website Pro for y'all.
Also my ma got braces today to straighten out her teeth and she's having a rough go of it. Any advice (Box, Neil, Atly) about tricks 'n' secrets for the first lil' while?
Hmm... the picture is here I don't know why it didn't work in the previous post. (Also from that site, the new homeland security boss is Mr Burns)
I had a fun birthday, so thanks guys for that. Best yet, my parents didn't actually go through with their threat to eat my birthday cake when I wasn't there (though my sister did).
I have a course in ancient humour this year and the first three assignments are:
#1 Tell a joke in front of the class
#1 Write down a funny thing that happened to you.
#1 Talk about someone else's funny experience.
I don't know which story I should tell. The freezie? The sock? The mugging? All hillarious (though not at the time). I probably should tell a nonoffensive joke or maybe a stupid classics one.
Your assignment for the week:
Rent and watch Return of the Living Dead.
It may be one of the first zom-coms ever. It's no Evil Dead 2, but it's definitely worth a watchin'.
Write a 5 page report on it.
It's been too long since I posted. Like a week almost. For shame.
I'm filthy rich right now, and it's been manifesting itself mostly in a greatly increased consumption of alcohol and illegal drugs. Like, really copious amounts. It's what, the tenth? That means I've been drunk/stoned 6 times since New Year's, not including what will occur tonight. I'm thinking I should cut back before my liver cuts out. Soon enough we'll have to hunker down and actually do schoolwork, though, and there will be no more parties, so I'll enjoy it while I can.
Speaking of being loaded, Saturday night was Dave's birthday. We got liquored up at this place on College at Spadina called "Einstein's", where they sell pitchers of their own (alcoholic) piss for $8.50. Despite the fact that I called it piss, it's actually pretty good. Not awful anyway. And a pitcher of Brick Red was like $10.50. That's fantastic, any way you cut it. And the wings were good. If only they had a 140 oz pitcher.
Following this, we went to the sixth floor of this computer science building or something, on the U of T campus. The sixth floor? Why the sixth? What's so crazy about that, you ask? It was incomplete and off limits, says Ben! It was kind of cool. But what cooler was the shit I stole. A door handle, a mask, and blueprints!
Well it was cool at the time. To me.
I dreamt last night that the police were after me cause they thought I was a terrorist, on account of the blueprint theft. Also I dreamed that I got bit by a rattlesnake, and they had to drain all my blood and refill me with transfusions. "But I'll get AIDS!" said I. "No, it's perfectly fine," said they. But I got AIDS anyway.
Well I'm off back to Peterborough, which is probably a frozen wasteland. It was a fun break and I'm glad I got to see everyone. I'll let you all know next time I'm back and we can do something fun. Also you all better come up to Trent for reading week! I will miss toronto, they have busses.