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Saturday, August 27, 2005


Slacktivism! 

We should get Tracksy.com for our blog. It's a free service that lets us see how many people visit us and where they come from. Basically, so we can see wacky google searches that bring people here (if people are actually brought here).

I had an interesting week that was reverse to normal. Every weeknight I went out (among other things) drinking. Friday night I went to bed at 9 and spent saturday surfing the net and reading. Go figure. I also performed an act of slacktivism, by taking a controversial stand against genocide. I sent an e-mail to various news organizations for their refusal to show this ad. I doubt it will accomplish much. Oh and I also sent an e-mail to the writer of Planet Simpson for (what I believed was) his misinterpretation of aspects of Star Trek. Oh also I worked on a list of Harry Potter pick-up lines. Sam came up with a couple (I can't remember which one but definitely the last one):

Hey baby, I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

Hey baby, wanna ride my firebolt?

Hey baby, I'd like to catch your golden snitch.

Hey baby, can you hold me prisoner in your Azkaban?

Hey baby, I'm no beater but I want to hit you with my bludger.

Hey baby, wanna see my 11-inch wand?

Hey baby, do you play quidditch? [beat] Cause you look like a keeper.

Hey baby, wanna suck on my Fizzing Whizbee?

Hey baby, I don't have an age-line, so can I touch your Goblet of Fire?

Accio… you.

I have a feeling there should be one invovling the Blast-Ended Skrewt. Also, while I'm sure at least some of these would be used in the wizarding world I'm sure they'd have others (e.g. Imperius!)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Hail, fair readers! 

Hiya folks who may or may not read this humble blog. Are you in or around Toronto? Can you be tomorrow night? We're havin' a party at Box's place. As you can see, we are kind of weird, and a lil creepy, and quite possibly scary; but despite all that we're still pretty good people and we know how to have a good time. That's why you read us, right?

Basically what I'm trying to say is, come! Call me on my cell phone if you're interested, and I'll give you directions. Hopefully Box doesn't mind. Eeeeehhhhhh, he's crazy. He won't.

Area code six four seven, two two six - nine seven four nine.

But don't crank call me. I'm inviting you to a fucking party, for chrissakes.

Monday, August 22, 2005


Goin' Ape 

Lee's Palace

Wednesday August 24: Local Alternative
‘Magnetta Lane’ @ 11:30, ‘Mugshot’ @ 10:30 PM, ‘Dead Letter Dept.’ @9:30, and ‘Ghetto Box’ @ 8:30 PM.
8:00 PM Doors $5.00

We saw Magnetta Lane at the Gladstone during NXNE, good set. Let's go on wednesday.

Plus I think I'm legally obligated to see a band called "Ghetto Box"


hello from Telemarketing Wasteland! 

Yep, I'm writing at work. It seems all I do these days is work and laze around the house at home. I'm almost glad school is going to start soon!

Now, since school *is* going to start soon, I was thinking of having a back to school party of sorts. Anyone interested?

As far as interesting things going on in my life, it's slim pickings to choose from. Ummm....we had a friend from the US (a Marine in fact) visit for a week and marvel at Canada's bounty of Beer Stores and legally topless women. He was shocked and enamoured all at the same time, baby! If any of you readers are in Professional Writing/English/Creative Writing at York, send me submissions for PWSA's (Professional Writing Students Association) online magazine before August 31 if you'd like to be published.

That's all folks!


Muskokan Memories 

Back! Back! Back from Muskoka!

So my cottage has beavers now. Beavers in the lake. They'll cut down your trees and contaminate your water supply, but they sure are cute, god bless 'em. Anyways, while I was up, I managed to get two comics done for the coming year. The first is going to be the first Punster comic I do, and the second I'll run later, after I have had some time to establish a few secondary characters. Also, I haven't inked them yet (or added backgrounds) and yes, I did steal the name "Gwendolyn" from Leo. (I consider it an homage)

Other'n that, I think I'm having an allergic reaction to something, but I don't know what. Alls I know is that my uvula has swelled to twice its normal size and I can now swallow and throw it up in my throat at will. This is not fun at all, and I'm hoping that this will fade away soon.

Okay, I'm done for now. See ya'll later (improv tonight).


Further Campaigns and Expeditions 

King Leopold's Ghost is going to personally award us Grand Order of the Lion, Commander status. This is in addition to the Awesome Dude status that we awarded ourselves.

For a small cover fee we will let you see the artifacts and souvenirs that we brought back from our expedition. Next week we begin our lecture tour at the Royal Geographical Society where we will divulge our vast knowledge of the previously uncharted North-West rail corridor. We will also be leading another expedition through the territory quite soon with the objective of establishing an outpost for gathering raw material and civilizing the natives. We will require porters, applicants must have a backpack, a sturdy bicycle and a hearty constitution. Sign up now, space is limited. NO WEAKLINGS.

Sunday, August 21, 2005


Putting the "Murdah" in "Murdah Explore" 

WHAT A DAY.

Me and Box went biking. We didn't know where to go, so we decided to hop the fence to the train tracks at Dovercourt and Queen and and see where they led. We found this abandoned factory, so we pulled up and hopped another fence, climbed onto the roof, and found this catwalk across to another building, which had a small skylight that we could lower ourselves into. We explored there and found a metal cast of a doll's head welded to a pipe and a handle? Weird? But awesome. We poked around, then got out and jumped over some oil drums and found a window to get into. We ended up in what looked like a hockey puck factory, but there were all these other machines that didn't look like they'd been used since the 40's. After some more dicking around, we had a very close run in with what might have been a guard and climbed back out and took off. We ran into a bunch of maintenance guys on the tracks by the Lansdowne Mega-No Frills so we tossed our bikes over a fence into the parking lot there. We rode around to another crossing a few blocks over and ran into the guys again, so we went a bit further and got back on the tracks somewhere around Dundas West and Bloor, and rode up to Weston Road or thereabouts and tried to climb up this big silo (about 100 feet up) but it was ridiculously dangerous to jump across to the ladder at this one place and we couldn't ladder it or bridge it, so we gave up and continued to bike to Black Creek. At about St. Clair the path disappeared and we had to ride on the tracks, baBUMPbaBUMPbaBUMPbaBUMPbaBUMPbaBUMPbaBUMP, which made my brain hurt (and it hurts still. Maybe minorly concussed?). We got tired of that so we rode up to this industrial park and made our way to Lansdowne at St. Clair and got Gelato then went swimming.

We should get hero medals for exploration like they used to give in the nineteenth century. Heart of Darkness shit, yo. There were some shifty lookin' thugs. They're like, almost Kurtz.

Right now my dog is dreamin'. She's waggin' her tail occasionally and makin' noises. Perhaps she is dreaming about a succulent bone or an orgasmic ear-scratch. Maybe she is in a place where everything is made out of people food and it all smells like her pee, nyum nyum.

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a gorilla with no superego.