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Saturday, September 11, 2004


I have a floor 

So they are putting my floor in now at home. I find this as a good thing.

My classes are starting monday, and I think I'm ready for them. Had a fairly good week just sorta sitting around Peterborugh. Turns out my house is getting free cable! Also I got the board game Zombies!!!
Its great fun, and has plenty of zombie madness.

Meyers, what's your adress and phone number? We should do something, we live so close to each other!


I will not be beaten by a bad man and an American stick insect...instead, I choose vodka. 

Ben & Sam: Very very much like Pulman's series. And he's the man.

So I'm back in the 'loo, er, actually I have been since monday. After spending a whopping 2 days in T.O. I came back here, and NOT because of the 'rents, but because I got a job. WEE! Oh, excited 'wee' should probably be placed AFTER I say where my job is. Sweet Dreams Tea Shop; and if you ignore the really corny name, I think I'll be able to convince you that its my dream job - for now.

Most students do the coffee thing, but with the exception of all summer at the mill at 5:30 am mornings at work, I'm not a huge coffee fan. But bubble tea...oh man, I'm saving so much money working there - and actually making money too! Despite the fact its nearly 3 times less than Norampac, I love it to bits. Happy fun people. Hurrah.

Other then that, summer is over, and reality hits back in on monday. Fortunately we've spent the week chillin', so I've gotten to see pretty much everybody. For good or bad. The psychic wasn't kidding when he said that my greatest challenges in University wouldn't be doing the work/getting the marks, it'd be dealing with stupid guys. And I'm going to take the oppertunity now, because this blog is primarily guys, that YOU, of course, are the exception ;)

Well, must run - day #3 of work awaits.

Lataz!
~Ash

----> At some point I'll have to come home and par-tay it up with you guys :D


I think I read that book. 

Sam: Sounds like Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series.

I like having money. Money means eating and drinking well. There is NOTHING better to spend money on than a good meal and a bottle of wine, let me tell you.

I'm arguing about communism and capitalism with a friend of mine. She's very much idealistic about societal change as time passes. I am too jaded for this.


That's Me in The Corner, Making Up Religion 

I finally got around to creating my own religion! Not actually "setting up a cult" or "writing anything down", but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I wanna do with it, if anyone wants to become my disciple or anything.

Basically, we're a splinter-sect of the Christian faith who believes that God has been lying to humanity from day one, and that He is actually mankind's greatest enemy. Basically, God created humanity so that he would have plenty of belief to feast upon (gods feed on belief) and once he has no further use for you (i.e., you die) he simply casts your spirit into the lake of fire regardless of the virtue of your soul.

Gosh, with this bleak picture of God, humanity doesn't have a chance, right? WRONG! Just as God is empowered by the belief of his human worshippers, so too can a man, after his death, be empowered by belief. The first to try to battle God through belief empowerment, Jesus Christ, ultimately failed because he made worshipping God a pre-requisite to worshipping him (also, he lied about being God's son) and thusly could not match God's power. Our church's current philosophy is that by amassing enough followers for our Supreme Pontiff alone, he will have enough power upon his death to cast down God into the lake of fire and rescue the tortured souls of Humanity. In a nutshell, that's my religion, which I call Deiosmortiism.

So I'm thinking of maybe making some Jack Chick-esque pamphlets or something to spread the word. I think it'll turn out WAY better then my flirtation with Beautocratic government.

Friday, September 10, 2004


Goin' Ape 

Where the ladies at?

Eh?

Sounds like Jacob has landed himself in the ultimate summer movie. Four geeky guys competing to win the affections of hot exchange students. But oh, np - there's one fewer girl than guys! That means the guys will have to try to humiliate each other to ruin others chances with the girls. One of the geeks will be a linguist which will help him when he can speak Swedish. One of the geeks will be naturally rich (also an asshole). One of the geeks will be super-brainy and one of the geeks will be "just a good guy". I hope for Jacob's sake that he is the "good guy" because then he will do well in his life which is imitating a formulaic movie for the next little while.

I went and saw Hamlet today with a family friend. It was good overall and I was happy to see it for the first time. There was something that irked me, though. In the last 3 dramatic productions I've seen, they've gone for this "no-set" thing. I don't mean no set like, there's actually no set, but I mean like, conspicuously they are calling attention to the fact there is no set. In this production, the actors, when not on stage would sit in chairs facing the audience and watch the action from behind. Like improv matches. It bothered me. Then, the backdrop was placed wrong-way-around so that we saw the frame part and not the front part. Like WE were backstage. It's one thing to go minimal and let the play speak for itself, but this was like a self-aware, chic thing.

Other than the staging dilemmas I enjoyed myself and kept thinking about the gangster movies I've seen. The uncle-nephew in Sopranos probably owes something to this and the whole deep drama of The Godfather, too.

And now, I post


At last 

Well I'm finally on the internet. Turned out I just needed to upgrade my system from 10.2.8 to 10.3. Why the extra 0.0.2 of a system would mean the difference of the internet working or not is beyond my comprehension.

I really like my house. I'm close to school (about 10ish minutes) but the important thing is that I'm right in downtown. There's a club on my street (which I don't intend to go to) but I'm right near all the downtown bars, clubs and the beer store. My room itself is nice in a student ghetto-y way and it's got a balcony. Once again, big shout-out to Neil for recommending my particular house over the other one (which does not seem as nice).

My housemates (7 other people and 1 lizard) are also really great. There's 4 guys and 4 girls, the guys are very well versed in what I call "our" (i.e. geek) culture while the girls are mainly exchange students from holland and sweden and such. Everyone's really nice and really fun. I've already gotten too drunk and done some stupid things, but that's all in the tour of duty.

I hope you guys are all having a great time and I'll be back in TO for the weekend of the 18th (for the fundraiser from work, if any of you have 200 spare dollars...).

Wednesday, September 08, 2004


I Need Work, Foo'! 

Went ta Yark t'find a job today. It went ok, and I may be getting a housepainting gig out of it. If that don't pan out, I've got word in to Starbucks and World Class Bakers. Employment is in my grasp! Also, I saw Moke, Claire and Lana from my old res whilst I was there, giving me that "good day vibe" for back to schol. For those interested, even tho I pretty much botched my 1st year, I'm back and taking learning studies & acting classes. Acting! Good times, indeed.

In other news, I'm learning new skills. Just kidding. I'll never be that good.


"Da Purple" 

A film professor always wants some credit for some shit you just supposed to do. A film professor will brag about some shit that a normal man wouldn't even think of. "I ain't never done needle drugs!". You're not SUPPOSED to do needle drugs, you low-expectation-havin'-muthafucka!

More or less, thus begins my first day back at yerk. My professor for video post-production (i.e. editing) showed us a portion from his movie. What he does is so awesome. He interviews people (junkies and ex-cons, largely) and basically says "tell me your life story" and then he takes their audio and cuts it down to just the quintessential stories. He interviews about 5 people and distills their stories and then he makes up relationships between them and connects their stories. He uses the original audio, asking them to repeat portions of the story in order to change names (for his interviewees own safety). Then he stages re-enactments on super gritty scratched up 16mm and matches them to the stories.

So the portion of his movie he showed us was about a heroin addict. He said that he was drawn to addicts and such because it was similar to his own experience, but pointed out that he never got involved with NEEDLE drugs. Phew. This is going to be awesome.

Also, visited th' old Yerk gang from res. The new res. is super spiffy. Makes Calumet look like vomit and Winters look like dog vomit.

P.S. Box-o, did you happen to see a 'purple-Ping'? A 'Da Purple'? Because they dyed him. Ask him to show you the photos. Like, REALLY PURPLE.

P.P.S. The Benj'
1) Does not yet have his computer set up and may not for some time.
2) Is actually having "that much fun".


expletive expletive expletive 

I had one job to do today. That job was to drive to Yonge and Eglinton and retrieve our sewing machine from the repair shop. I'm driving along Bloor just west of St. George and traffic comes to a complete standstill. Gaggling down the sidewalk and spreading out into the street are dozens of purple painted UofT freshmen engineers and they start accosting drivers trying to collect money for the "Special Olympics". I'm sure that "Special Olympics" is the street talk for speedballs or something. Just when I think I've escaped the mobs I see swarms of them parading up St George and along Bloor street. So I had to take detour after detour as well as having mad construction to contend with up and back. I can understand why road rage is such a problem in our society. Total time of round trip 2 hours.


expletive expletive expletive 

I had one job to do today. That job was to drive to Yonge and Eglinton and retrieve our sewing machine from the repair shop. I'm driving along Bloor just west of St. George and traffic comes to a complete standstill. Gaggling down the sidewalk and spreading out into the street are dozens of purple painted UofT freshmen engineers and they start accosting drivers trying to collect money for the "Special Olympics". I'm sure that "Special Olympics" is the street talk for speedballs or something. Just when I think I've escaped the mobs I see swarms of them parading up St George and along Bloor street. So I had to take detour after detour as well as having mad construction to contend with up and back. I can understand why road rage is such a problem in our society. Total time of round trip 2 hours.


expletive expletive expletive 

I had one job to do today. That job was to drive to Yonge and Eglinton and retrieve our sewing machine from the repair shop. I'm driving along Bloor just west of St. George and traffic comes to a complete standstill. Gaggling down the sidewalk and spreading out into the street are dozens of purple painted UofT freshmen engineers and they start accosting drivers trying to collect money for the "Special Olympics". I'm sure that "Special Olympics" is the street talk for speedballs or something. Just when I think I've escaped the mobs I see swarms of them parading up St George and along Bloor street. So I had to take detour after detour as well as having mad construction to contend with up and back. I can understand why road rage is such a problem in our society. Total time of round trip 2 hours.


Kickin' it oldschool 

I'mma sitting next to this weird guy, here in the Yark CompuLab. It looks like he's writing an essay, but every so often (approx 2-3 minutes?) he whimpers. Like a dog, sort of. Like, when they're sleeping, and dreaming, and they think they see like a rabbit or something, and they're running, but they can't catch it. Or maybe they're fighting a bigger dog in order to win the love of a she-dog, and they're losing. Perhaps Freud would say that the she-dog was the dog's mother-dog, and the big dog was is pop-dog. Perhaps this is what ol' whimpy next to me is writing about. He's pretty creepy.

Switching streams is silly and stupid. There's a bunch of paperwork involved, but the silliest thing is that I basically have to just take all the courses I'd like to take under that stream, and THEN they switch me into that major. So, why bother declaring? It's simply an honourary title.

Except for stuff like fine arts, what needs you to apply well in advance to get into certain programs/classes. Apparently, I can't actually get into FACS as a major until next year. However, I can take as many FACS courses as I can fit into my cheeks like a squirrel, so long as I can get some permission from teh prof. I got Korrick on my side tho so I think I'm good.

Potential Schedule thus far:

M NUFFIN

T 11.30 FACS 3400 cabinet of curiosities

W 9.30-12.30 birth of politics pols 2490
12.30-14.30 dance tut
15.30-17.30 dance lect

R 14.30-16.30 POLS 2920 SECT B global pols

F NUFFIN

Where the fuck is Benji, these days? Why doesn't he post? There can't be THAT much shit going on in 'Sauga.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


In Peterborough 

So I'm back in Peterborough now, things are going ok, though my house is being slow to get ready. I think its the fact that we don't have a floor.

Meyers, that was a brilliant stunt you pulled! When you get back in town we gotta do something, I'm at 144 London (London and George) stop on by whenever.

I will let you guys know when I have the phone and internet, but for now I'm just going to have to use these computer lab machines! See you all soon I hope.


The Pictures... 

Thank God the pictures are back! I was beginning to forget what we all look like!

Also, I guess it's good that Ben and Leo are back, too.


Meyers that is way too good. 

Look at how early I am up! Fucking sick, eh? I attribute it to one too many 8am shifts on fucking control.

So I hear you clowns are already dispersed back to the colleges from whence you came. Is this so, and if it is, fuck you? There's still like a fuckin week afore school for joose guys. Come on back. Let's hang out.

Also I think I fixed stuff.

Monday, September 06, 2004


Guess Who's Biz-Ack 

Well, "Renny" is back from Killbear and everything seems to be well. I have to say, I had an excellent summer. I loved being up there and I loved the work I was doing. I got to make a digital video project. It was a documentary on the park. I interviewed people and taped the fox snake team and maintenance division in action and then I edited everything in iMovie. Endlessly, technical problems would present themselves and I would scream and curse and kick chairs (I actually kicked over a chair at one point). But then I would solve them, which in turn created new problems. I think there are no major problems on the final version I have now but I'm not sure because I have to watch it through. The documentary is a little boring, but it's pretty good overall.

I got a ride back today with Ben's ma and Matthew. It was pleasent. We shoulda watched a DVD, if only because we could have.

Getting back home you realize what you've been missing. Like a house with some colour, some texture and non-fluorescent lighting. Not to mention this - the "terrornet". (There you go WB, now we've got the CIA reading our emails plus everything written on this blog. Also WB, great jorb with the ladies' college! + 1500 points.) Just for interest's sake, "Jihad" "Terrorist conspiracy" "The Sears Tower, Chicago" "Hijack a plane".

Well guys, I've got over a month of homestar to catch up on, so "TTYL".


I felt most unwelcome 

Today I was walking around downtown and saw a gang of fresh faced U of T students having a moving day BBQ on the lawn of one of the building across Devonshire st from Varsity stadium. Like a moth to a flame I was drawn to the group and the prospects of free food. After getting my hamburger and pop I introduced myself to Mandy and Allison from Collingwood, they're both Eng Lit students. We discussed Heart of Darkness, the World Cup of Hockey and the American elections. They thought I was being a cynical grump when I told them I didn't matter who won (they're both friggin skull and bones anyway!) because in the end we lose. Eventually some older woman asked me if I was a student in St. Hilda College then they suggested I return the St Hilda's T-shirt and that I leave. Apparently St Hilda's is the women's residence and I was not welcome.

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a gorilla with no superego.