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Friday, April 15, 2005


T-7 hours, 16 minutes 

You have an exam that covers all year of a reading-intensive course. You have not really studied for it. The exam is on Saturday. Do you:
a) Study all friday?
b) Go to someone's house to play board games?
If you answered a) you are far smarter than I. Of course there were lots of cool and nice people at Aaron's house. I'd be a lot more comfortable for this exam if we weren't allowed to bring in notes. My notes aren't all that great. They're full of snarky sentences like:
–17th cen. was "century of war" (See also– all other centuries)
–Luther a cannibal??? Zwingli says so!
–is historical biography useful? ("no" - sez Alison, "yes" – says Asian girl who sits next to me)

I've also been re-reading my old essays to study and this sentence really takes the cake. I can't believe I wrote it (that's what happens when you're writing an essay late at night and you're feeling snarky):
"That is not to say that European men were deriving sexual gratification from farming, but rather that their impulses for each was rooted in the same societal patriarchal paradigm."

Creepy stalker or brillant viral marketing? I report, you decide.
(She is pretty hot)


One Crazy, Money-Borrowing Son of a Bitch 

This man is clearly a Loose Cannon.

So I finished my last exam yesterday. Granted, it was my only exam, but it was on psychophysics, which is tough. And I, like Jacob, have been suffering through a fever. I got some cool dreams out of it, but a fever just isn't worth dreams, even if you do get to be a character from Sin City who has to restore Hollywood to its golden glory in them.

So anyways, celebrations took place at the Lab, where myself, Leo, Colleen and Rachelle (shouts out to y'all) enjoyed the hospitality of $2.50 beer night. While dingy, it was decided that the Lab was not really enough of a 'dive', so afterwards we decided to head over to Violet's Coffee House, St. Clair West's answer to Smile Donut. If you want to go to a dive where the regular's won't try to kick your head in, Violet's is a pretty good dingy hole. Highly recommended. Also, we saw Connia and Saka. They miss you, Ben.


How far can I antagonize the locals before they throw empty beer cups at me? 

Twas a feucked up noight fur shore.

We went to the hackey game. I chose to cheer for the Majors and I don't regret it. From the very beginning I cheered loudly for the Majors and except for a couple dozen friends and family a couple sections over I was the only one. Eventually my occasional chants MAAAAAAJOOOOORS MAAAAAAJOOOOORS earned me pissed of glares from the other fans and punches and pinches from my friends. In the third period some snot nosed punk fired an inflatable thunder stick at me but missed. It was so much fun innocently antagonizing the awful locals. The game went into over time and my cheering became louder, more frequent and more urgent. Some ugly ass local teens threw a couple nickels at me, fortunately I had my trusty bag of AA batteries for just such an occasion. The rest of the gang was quite sure I was going to be lynched. Meh I've dealt with worse in a daycare class of 5 year olds. Unfortunately the Majors lost and were eliminated but we got to go to the arena bar and collect on coupons for Kick, molson's new caffinated beer. It was aight, nothing special but it came in a neat aluminum bottle.

Why is it that all the local teen and pre teen boys have the same hockey haircut? One speciman sitting two rows in front of me took off his hat and it looked like his hair was molded to fit the hat.

Then we went to the mess, chatted up the guys from the regiment had a Kilkenny, got home and had a bottle of KOZEL! GLEEE.

Thursday, April 14, 2005


I got a fever. And not the good kind, the kind that can be cured with more cowbell. I've beaten it now but this week wasn't exactly an opportune time to get it. I remember rambling to myself about the benefits of fevers as explained to school children by use of historic analogies. "When Napoleon was in Russia, the Tsar set fire to Moscow thus depriving him of victory. Your body is doing the same thing by creating a fever to ward away germs." Of course it's a flawed analogy because the Russians didn't burn the french alive. Also, grade schoolers don't care about history. Much better was the weird dream I had which was a gritty noirish look at conflict between Jamacian and North Korean gangs. But thankfully all that (and my essay) are out of the way now. Now it's just smooth sailing through my five exams.

One thing I find very funny is subculture's humour. Not so much the actual humour but the concept of it. LarkNews.com is billed as a Christian Onion and it's decent, some of the stuff made me chuckle not even in a meta way. Here's the best example Antitrust Controlled by Jerks, Says New Evolutionary Biology Report (from the Antitrust institute). It contains such thigh-slapping sentences like:
Some of their spokespersons have called for a warning label to be emplaced on the cover of the joint FTC/DoJ Horizontal Merger Guidelines, stating that the guidelines are only a theory and not a fact.
and
On the role of God in antitrust, a spokesman for the Right said, “If God had wanted competition, there would
be multiple gods, yet everyone knows there is only one.” When asked how the Trinity should be interpreted in this context, the spokesman couldn’t state clearly whether this was the result of a 3-to-1 merger or merely the establishment of a multidivisional firm.
.

For your Napoleon Dynamite update of the day the Idaho House of Representatives gives it a shout out. Also have you ever wondered what would happen if the "Numa Numa song" met Napoleon Dynamite?


Return'n! 

I just got the call from Kenton. I'm going back for May 31st! For $8.50/hr! No interview! This is the bestest news I could hope for.
I may be interviewed for a senior staff position, but I'm not so sure I'd even want that since that's a helluva lotta responsibility 'n' work. Besides, Kenton said he had over 50 applications for that position and somehow I think there's someone in that stack more qualified than me.
Now to find me a bike...
Also, Kenton said he'd start interviewing for the other positions soon so keep near your phones BenBox.
HOORAY!


Return'd 

Yo. So. I went back to UFA yesterday for to go to Converge, the teen sexuality conference that Mike organised. This would be the second incarnation of it; apparently last year's was bigger + better. Oh well. It was pretty interesting, but I think I'd have gotten a lot more out of it as a high school student than I do now. I met TJ Bryan aka Tenacious, who was interesting, but really unradical in her own way. I wanted to tell her that, but I felt out of place already as a male listening to a panel on teen female passive aggression. I think she might have hit me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005


Halloween. 

So...Hallowen is coming...and I'm wondering - which Naruto character could I pull of best? (Keep in mind I have LONG BLACK HAIR).

(a) Iruka
(b) Itachi
(c) Haku
(d) Orochimaru

I'm kind of leaning towards Iruka or Itatchi. Oh man, Halloween is going to be so much fun.

(er, I've watched all 129 eps - come on 130! and I'm up to 65+ in the manga)

Two weeks left in london, but will I be able to keep a grip on my crumbling sanity? Time will tell.

Income tax return is coming in...bling bling.


Sega Genabis? 

Vidye and flim screenings are wrapped up nyah but I still have to re-write this scrip' in order to apply to some class next year. I've been re-kindling an old friendship with my pal Sega Genesis today and yesterday after Ben brought it up. You're not allowed to play for just an hour on these old games (Alladin, Sonic 1) because they don't have save features or passwords so you're bullied into playing until you either win or die. That's the biggest advantage of technology. But in terms of the games, they're still pretty good. I think it's generally true that games had more style back then because we didn't have the ability to make games 'life-like' so people didn't try for the most part. It's interesting to think about what doors technology opens stylistically and which it closes. Take Sin City. Millions of dollars of state of the art digital colour correction to make a black and white film which truthfully couldn't have been made like that two years ago.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


True Story! 

Jon Blair's dad is the new chief of police. No joke. I wonder if he's a mason. I wonder if, resultantly, Jon's a mason.

Monday, April 11, 2005


Fuck You Mars 

Watching TV today I saw a MARS bar ad featuring ATCQ's timeless classic "Can I kick it?". Did anyone else know about this travesty?

We bought tickets to the next OHL playoff game between the Peterborough Petes (I don't know who Pete was, so don't ask) and the St. Michaels Majors. I'm not yet sure who I'll cheer for. I may decide to cheer for the Majors just to be contrary to all the local, plus they're from Toronto.

I'm currently listening to Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix, it kicks some serious ass


Lame Post 

You're voting on the woman, not her schlubsband.

Fifteen minutes of fame? 15 seconds to rate a picture if you're lucky.
WB and I are were talking about this internet age of HotOrNot and blogs and how it fuels narcissism. Everyone feels like his/her business is so important that it should be enjoyed by everyone. But there is some validity to that since we do enjoy looking at ordinary people's pictures and lives.

Hot Or Not is interesting because you want people to do well. You want them to give you pretty girls so you can give them high marks. It's not that you won't dish out a 2 when someone deserves it, but you'd rather not have to do that.
Also, while I generally agree with people's rankings, any blonde showing any cleavage is automatically above 8. C'mon people, use your critical evaluative skills here.
Also, too many blurry pics get high rankings. You're all just going to give someone the benefit of the doubt and assume they're a 10 here?

Here are some tricks I thought of to play on the site. An "*" means people are already doing it. A "~" means I plan to do it soon.
1. Post several different pictures of yourself in different clothings, poses to see how widely your rankings can shift. *
2. Snap pictures of ugly in-laws you hate at unflattering times and post those sneakretly. *
3. Post yourself as the opposite sex. *
4. Post three pictures of yourself in identical poses and lighting. In the first pic you are holding a sign that says "USA All The Way! Bomb Saddam!". In the 2nd pic you're holding a sign that says "Stop the illegal occupation of Iraq". In the 3rd pic you hold no sign. See which gets the highest hot rating.
5. Post a old picture of Eazy-E. ~

Sunday, April 10, 2005


How the hell did that happen? 

YAY I'm done classes. HUZZAH I'm free to kill once again. Not even the Dark Knight himself can stop me now.

Yesterday was Dionysis the massive end of classes celebration. There was a beer station but it was rather poorly organized so we had to spend half an hour fighting our way through the mobs. It was a glorious day and it was so nice to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in a while.

I also stopped by the office of the Trent intermural athletics co-ordinator to see about starting a dodgeball league for the fall. She said that dodgeball was a very controversial sport in university atheltic circles because the purpose of the game is to hit other people with a ball. There was also the problem of limited gym time available. She told me that I was welcome to run a one day or weekend tournament and she'd help me to advertise it, but she could not be responsible for injuries. So at back at the beer garden I spoke to my friends Karen and Rachel who are the Lady Eatin' College president and vice-president, they liked the idea of running a tournament just open to LEC students and alumni during the fall college weekend.

On Thursday night I was walking down to Kate's house before we headed to the Olde Stone pub and I heard footsteps right behind me. I glaced over my shoulder, saw a shadow and kept walking. After a minute I glanced again and the shadow was still there this time the man behind walk up beside me and said
"Don't worry it's no one dangerous."
I replied "How do I know that?"
He answered "Would I be friendly and talk to you if I was a murderer"
Now I was scared "Maybe your one of those talkative killers"
"Actually studies show that most serial killers are outgoing, all the better to lure their victims"
Thankfully I was now in front of Kate's house and I could break off the conversation. As I was walking up her front steps he calls back to me "I'm Steve by the way."
I called back "I'm Pat"

We were at The Junction dancing it up this week and suddenly the DJ started playing Numa Numa. It was odd cause I would have thought that the song and now famous video were exclusively for geek or internet junkie consumption.

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a gorilla with no superego.