03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
I love the sitcom idea! I've even got ideas for a couple episodes.
In one episode they harness Samir's strength to tunnel under the White House, but Amir miscalculates and they end up in the Potomac River or Museum of Ladies Fashion.
In another episode Muhammed seduces the President's spinster secretary by posing as a suave Argentine reporter new to the White House Press Corps. The secretary thinks he's the Latin Lover she's been destined to marry and accelerates the relationship. All men fear commitment (like, duh right?) and Muhammed is no different. He fakes his own death and has to lay low for a while.
THIS IS GONNA BE A HIT!
Here are two ideas I've had recently:
An insult comic who is not doing well decides to take his business to the streets. He harrasses and ridicules not just any passersby, but sets himself up beside a homeless panhandler. Then he begins to make clever insults about the panhandler's appearence, odour and possibly living space/possessions. Then when the homeless guy gets fed up and yells stuff back the comic, the comic can mock him for his drunkeness and lack of education. To top things off, the comic keeps out a hat for donations. Anyone coming by can make a choice to support the homeless man or his tormentor.
I had this in mind for a stand-up comic to do, just for donations and then when he creates enough buzz, he can have his own morning radio show doing it.
Here's a sitcom. Three loveable losers in their late twenties share a one bedroom apartment in Washington, D.C. Two are brothers and the other a lifelong friend. They struggle to make ends meet working at gas stations, convenience stores and pharmacies. But they've got biiig plans...
Amir, Samir and Mohammed are radical Islamic fundamentalists who want to assassinate the president of the U.S.A! Every week the three roommates hatch a clever new plot: Amir is the brains, Samir is the muscle and Mohammed is the handsome charmer with great English. Every week we cheer on the wily would-be assassins as they almost pull off their goal, but every time something goes awry at the last minute when they remember some crucial detail that didn't get covered. Amazingly, they're never caught.
They just brought The Simpson's to the Muslim world. I will have the second cross-over TV hit.
Damn, I love getting free stuff and writing short essays. How come Bud won't provide anything with tofu in it? Also, why do they make such shitty beer? And why does Scott Kurtz make such a shitty comic? I mean other than the fact he can't draw, relies on a series of unfunny running gags and is (personally) a horrible asshole. I mean you have to go back as far as march to find a funny comic (this one, btw). And yet I still go back to his comic despite the fact it just tells (badly!) the story of the lives of a gang of rather uninteresting and poorly developed characters. Now that's a mystery.
Completely unrelated: This is one of the best of the recut trailers.
Hey kidsters and kidettes,
I been sick. It all began Sunday night after I sneezed twice in succession. Then I felt the grip of the sickness clutch my throat and nasal passages. I pulled myself out to improv and saw some of yall but was uncharacteristically silent. My big mistake was walking home in the rain after that. See I'd missed the bus and it didn't occur to me to wave down a taxi. When I finally did consider it an option to cab it, I stopped and talked to this cabbie but he would only take me west and I needed to go north. He was going to pick up a fare.
Anyways, things've been sort of uneventful. Lots of vidye games and Arrested Dev't with me ma and sis. Tensions are building at the ol' homestead, but I stand now a little less than two weeks away from my departure which shall, at the very least, "shake things up" a little.
Has anyone read the PC Insider's Report? (Not Personal Computers, but President's Choice, like the food). The summer line-up of tastings looks awesome. Get ready, "foodies"!
Speaking of delectable tastings, the average piece of food travels 1500 km to it's destination (stomach) in the United States. In Canada, it's 5000 km! Which brings me to follow up on an older post of Sam's and tell you that the truth is out there. Reading this website is like watching the OilCrash movie except less visually and emotionally impacting.
Apparently the telecom companies and ISPs are being dicks. Most days this is not really news worthy, but today they are trying to decide what their costumers can or cannot view on the net. The days of Net Neutrality are coming to the end. I guess the internet's the Wild Western first ten years are coming to an end. Was this day inevitable?
John Stewart tells me that the telecom companies have also VOLUNTARILY turned over phone information of their costumers to the NSA. NSA? NSA?
Hey! This here's my "I'm back" post. It would have arrived earlier, but for two reasons:
1) I was really jet-lagged yesterday and
2) I felt compelled to compile a 102 word essay on why "I" (the speaker I represent in the essay) love barbeque.
Anyways, England/Scotland was good/great. No lady action, but I feel way more connected to my being of Scottish ancestry now, so that's a definite plus. I'll post somepictures when I develop 'em.
And now, the essay:
THE BARBEQUE: One of our greatest WESTERN TRADITIONS and long seen as a PARAMOUNT of OUR SOCIETY. Recently, this INSTITUTION has come under a VICIOUS ATTACK by members of the LIBERAL HOMOSEXUAL JEW-RUN MEDIA. These HATE-MONGERS seek to push their VEG-JEW-TARIAN AGENDA on all of us DECENT HARD-WORKING people by suggestion that our NOBLE TRADITION of the barbeque is somehow “WRONG” because of its characteristic eating of animals. This UNFOUNDED ATTACK on the VERY FOUNDATIONS of WHITE CHRISTIAN VALUES is PROOF of the utterly DEBASED nature of the barbeque’s ENEMIES, and I for one will continue to light my BBQ WITH PRIDE.
They have to give me the coupons no matter what the essay says, right?
I found this cool interactive photography website. For now I'm going to call it Information Interactive. Just start clicking.
This morning I was reading articles on Robert Fisk's website and listening to lectures he has given. For the past 30 years Fisk has been one of the most courageous foreign correspondents. He has reported from just about every conflict zone between Bosnia and Afghanistan. Fisk has been critical of American and Israeli policy which has earned him his share of hate mail. For his independent journalism he is accused of being a Jew-hater and a Bin Laden sympathiser. Actor John Malkovich even said he wanted to shoot Fisk.
Robert Fisk: Why does John Malkovich want to kill me?
If you have a couple hours to spare check out these lectures. He does an excellent job explaining the history and context of conflict in the Middle East. There is some content overlap but they are both worth watching and listening to.
"Ask All You Like about 9/11, But Just Don't Ask Why?"
Lecture at MIT February 5, 2003
Run time 2hrs 44 min
"The Great War For Civilization"
Lecture at Berkley November 19, 2005
Run time 1hr 4 min
In more delicious news, I have perfected an amazing concoction that I call Alex's Peanut Butter Shreddies. It's my reinterpretation of the old cereal + sweet goo favourite. Here's the basic recipe:
1/2 cup margerine
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 maple syrup
3 cups shreddies
1) Melt margerine in a pot on medium heat
2) Stir in peanut butter, brown sugar and maple syrup until it reaches smooth gooey consistency
3) Stir in shreddies until they are all coated in goo
4) Pour shreddie mixture into wide shallow dish and allow to cool
This is my new favourite snack. It is a delicious energy boost, but should only be eaten in small quantities because it is so sweet.