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Saturday, April 30, 2005


Goin' Away 

So, just to clear up any rumours,
YES - I am going on a trip tomorrow.
NO - It is not a random roadtrip through California with strangers.
YES - It is with my sister and father on a boat cruise from California up to Vancouver.
YES - I get to eat dinner in a suit with rich Americans who sell farm equipment.
NO - I didn't sleep with the farmer's daughter.
YES - I will be gone from May 1st and back in the evening on May 9th.
YES - I will be in Toronto from May 9th to May 27th so that is the main period for stunting.
YES - If you haven't applied to work at Killbear this summer, I think you should start making plans to come up there for a camping trip.

I got leuh f'y'all. See you soon!


Savouring the moment 

I brought last night home with me in the form of a Cajun Beef Rib Sub courtesy of 7-11. Amazing. It's still good, even though I'm not drunk and it's not 2am. My once-secret addiction has come to light, while my parents and siblings look on with horror as I chow down on a huge friggen reprocessed sub. I put Diana sauce on it, it was like eating Jesus.

Interestingly, ran into a good friend of mine from a million years ago as I walked home down Dufferin. She got hot. In a way, I hate when that happens, cause it makes everything all weird. If she hadn't become completely, mind-blowingly attractive, probably the conversation wouldn't have been so stilted and perhaps we'd hang out later. Though it was also pretty awesome.

Leo: I have a whole pile of Canibus freestyles, incl. one with Em and X, and I think I have the track with LL Cool J! This is pretty wicked.

Aight! So. Goin' to a play tonight with Julia! I have some stuff I have to polish off afore I head out so I'll talk to you muhfukkas later.

Friday, April 29, 2005


Things to discover at noon 

The exam actually IS at 2 pm. I misread a schedule this morning. I'll be taking either the 445 or 545 bus into Toronto, meaning that I'll be in at about 7 or 8. I will be at the party.


Things to discover at 9am 

So today is the day of my last exam. I haven't done all that much studying for it, and last night I was drinking and playing Settlers of Catan and Trivial Pursuit 90's Edition till 330. So thinking my exam is at 2 in the afternoon I wake up at 9:20 or so this morning, which is when I'm writing this, intending to study, clean and pack, get up to campus a bit early, write the exam and then catch either the 4:45 or 5:45 bus back to Toronto. One small flaw in my plans, my exam isn't until 7:00 tonight. The only bus I can take out of peterborough is the 10:35 bus tonight that arrives in town at 12:20. Shit this sucks, Leo I don't think I'm going to be able to come to your party.

Thursday, April 28, 2005


I'm Done! 

Well actually I was done about 24 hours ago. But it's the thought that counts, right.

So I'm heading back to Toronto on friday. Hope to see all y'all.

I was watching the Daily Show the other day and they had a thing on Airbus' new superplane. It's got over 800 seats, showers, private rooms and a bar. A bar on a plane? To me that screams sitcom. I can just see the guy making the pitch: "It's Cheers meets The Love Boat... in the air!"

I was brainstorming this with Leo last night working out characters. You'd have the varied barstaff of course. The pilot and the co-pilot. There'd be the old mouthy stewardess, the young flirty one and a flamingly gay sassy stewart (Will and Grace gay not Queer As Folk gay, we don't want to lose the Red States). There'd be a couple of other regulars, maybe some businessmen who have to take the plane regularly. The best one though is we'll have a pair of Air Marshalls (or Sky Marshall or whatever they're called). They'd be the classic team of the tired vet and the rookie. The vet would spend most of his time drinking (while the rookie sniffs out problems). Of course they'd have to be undercover so you could milk a lot of 'mistaken identity' plotlines out of that. Or you could have the 'woman in labour' episode and the skycop has to deliver it. Plus for a season finale, terrorists! And that time the rookie cop would be drinking so the old guy would have to settle things.

Here are some titles we came up with:

Vertigo
Nonstop
Smile High Club
Flyin' high

Best part is, it'd be cheap/free to make cause Airbus would gladly subsidize it (it is, after all, publicity for their new jet). Anyone have any other ideas?

Here's a very disturbing factoid from a story about Toronto cops who investigate pedophiles:

On one wall is a "Star Trek" poster with investigators' faces substituted for the Starship Enterprise crew. But even that alludes to a dark fact of their work: All but one of the offenders they have arrested in the last four years was a hard-core Trekkie.


Goin' ... 

Gr.
Editing this script means staring at the computer screen for 4 days in a row and then on the fifth I get an idea and start changing shit up and then on the sixth I realize what I've changed either worsens what I had or calls for massive change to other sections.

I used to get all riled up when I didn't leave the house all day. Now I've just... gotten used to it! And why does it have to rain just long enough to make the grass wet everyday? It doesn't help the grass significantly, just makes it too slick for BiKiNg.

And THAT is what a person rants about when he's not faced with exams or unemployment.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005


Rant rant rant rant 

So I've got this stupid fucking Poli Sci exam tomorrow. I hate Poli Sci. Moreover I hate the slides for this course. They're full of graphics and crap that make the file size explode and are completely useless in illustrating anything. It's a first year course so I guess you have to impress them with colourful things or else they lose interest and start masturbating in the back of Convocation Hall.

Moreover, the slides are posted in PowerPoint. I don't have PowerPoint. I use a Mac and refuse to pollute my computer with Microsoft garbage. So I'm stuck using the insanely slow OpenOffice that I never use except when I'm viewing Word documents sent to me by dumbasses. Is it SO hard to convert your slides to Acrobat, so that anybody can view them without buying Microsoft Office or running it? Furthermore why must you have 41 lecture slides in 2 hours, EACH OF WHICH HAS A POINTLESS GRAPHIC ON IT. ARGRHAGDSFA.

Ugh. I need chicken wings.


Sam Linton's Comics and Employment Corner 

Kaloo Kalay! Hully Gee! I lost my job!

So the restaurant I worked at finally went under. We all knew it was just a matter of time, but I thought it had at least three more months left in it. Now I'm back out on the street, up to no good and hungry for employment. I even momentarily considered trying out for Ben's old job, but then I remembered my aversion to doing hellish things (not including my ex-wife!) So anyways, if'n anyone knows any jobs about in the city, don't hesitate to tell me about 'em. Unless you're just hoarding them for yourselves. You selfish jerks.

What else? They're releasing Girl Genius comics online right now. I was a bit hesitant to check it out at first (what with the title seeming a bit trite and all), but then I saw who it was written/drawn by. I'm not ashamed to admit that I immediately recognised the names Brian Snoddy, Phil Foglio and Kaja Foglio from my days of compulsively sorting magic cards (good times). Anyways, i haven't gotten far enough into the storyline to pass judgement yet, but the art has a fantastic, cartoon quality I'm sure you'll all just Go Ape over.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


If you're thinking about taking a camcorder into a movie theater or accidentally running someone over 

Take the latter.

I have a Data Structures & Anal exam tomorrow at 9am and I can't seem to bring myself to study. Maybe beer and mozzarella sticks will change my disposition.

Monday, April 25, 2005


ECON 222A, A Play In One Act 

Lights come on to heaven (with clouds, choral music etc). The Archangel GABRIEL is upstage left starring intensely into the distance.
Enter GOD stage left.

God: How's the work on the Jacob project going?
Gabriel: Great!
God: What have you got for me?
Gabriel: Okay get this... we give him a really hard exam.
God (frowning): No, that's not painful enough.
Gabriel: But it'll have questions he'll have no idea how to do! And the ones he does know how to do will have impausible answers making him doubt himself!
God: It lacks... pizzaz.
Gabriel (thinking): Oh! We'll have his calculator break right before.
God: Perfect. Keep it up and you'll make cherub by the next millenia.
––––

Shouldn't Mary Jane be the one stinking up the house with pot smoke? I'm downloading the thing but my computer is going quite slow.

One thing I just noticed is that your post is dated not when it's posted but when it was started (mine was posted at 6:00 but it says 4:17, when I hit the post button). This opens up all sorts of possibilities. You can start your post before some big event, then finish it afterwards and "predict" what'll happen. Eventually your preceived precognative skills will get you money and fame. What's the catch?


Best. Episode. Ever. 

Yesterday was great. Tom and I had our last radio show of the season, a temporary end to Good Guys, Bad Idea. Not to worry I'm sure this summer shall be full of Awesome Guys (and Ladies Too), Worse Ideas.

So for the last show we raised the topic of bad roommates. We had in the booth with us Kate and her housemate Erin (using false names Mary Jane and Suzy Q respectively) they created a fabulous work of fiction partlially based on their own house. Mary-Anne accused Suzy Q of stinking the house up with pot smoke right before Mary-Anne's conservative parents arrived. Suzy Q complained that Mary Jane has sex too loud, and kept the rest of the house awake. They lost composure. The girls staged a very realistic sounding catfight. Kate got so into it she actually slapped Erin, I had to dive on her and pin her arms to prevent further violence. This was probably our best show of the year.

You can listen to the archive of the show here, but it's only available for a week. It's bizarre hearing myself.

Aslo yesterday I was studying for my medieval history exam, which is tomorrow. I was listening to random music and without thinking I put on all 147 minutes of The Art Of War, then I realized I was also playing Civilization 3. I suppose I am now totally immersed in a culture of war. YAY?



π - πe = -h(u - ubar) 

I've got an exam in about an hour and I'm not sure what to do. I know I should study more but is that a good idea? Will it work? Could it even be bad, burn me out before the exam. The exam means I can't go to a friend's birthday party, any other exam would've let me go (either earlier or the one other exam starting at 7 took me about 20 minutes). Anyway, that's all boring.

This sounds pretty cool but right now my torrent is all clogged up with Babylon 5 downloading. I've watched way too much of it, but in my defense it is really good. The greatest thing is that the creator of the show is crazy and will do literarily anything: Kill off characters (dozens dead so far), kill off entire species and do crazy themed episodes (one was just a contemporary news broadcast about the station, another was about a boxing match against aliens). Right now though I'm in the middle of really suspensful happenings and the torrent's going so slowly. Hopefully it'll pick up and the episode will be finished by the time I get back.

Remember All Your Base? And remember Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Now's your chance to to see them combined together with pure awesomeness results.


Time for some action 

I'm a huge fan of the Overcompensating, and I'm really pleased he brought back the Tinkles to crush MAiS and American Platypus. This death hoax got me vexed, though.

The Renpire Strikes Back.

Sunday, April 24, 2005


An ode to H&M 

Oh most wondrous of clothing stores! How doth I love thee? Let me count the ways...

I bought a bunch of stuff from H&M today. It is the best store ever. Everything is awesome and cheap, and the hoodies are fantastic! Man. I should have gotten one before. I should have gotten all of them. I also bought myself a button down shirt (v. respectable) and a baseball-sleeve shirt (v. baseball). On that note, when are we going to start playing? That is to say, finish yer goddamn exams, assholes.

In the National Post today: Molson buys Creemore. It was on the front page, all foreboding, like. Also it turns out Labatt owns Keith's. Who knew? And I thought I hated Labatt beer. I guess I just hate Blue.

T-minus one week and counting until I'm out of Gamecentre.

PS. You've heard me whine, bitch, and gripe about it. Now it can be yours! What am I talking about? My job! If you're crazy and need to decide between hustling for AIDS victims and video game retail, I can make it happen. But please be totally bankrupt before you say yes.


I wish I had thought of this 

As I've gotten many bad haircuts in my day.

From our friends at Sympatico-MSN-Evil-Corporate-Conglomerate:

Unhappy customer robs hairstylist, uses money to get haircut at another salon

RICHLAND, Wash. (AP) - A woman apparently dissatisfied with a haircut robbed a hair salon at gunpoint, shot at her stylist's car, then used part of the money to pay for a trim at another shop, police said.

Julie Anderson, 48, was booked for investigation of first-degree robbery and second-degree malicious mischief. Employees told police the woman showed up Wednesday at Stage 1, a salon she had patronized for years, and asked to speak with her regular stylist, who was not in, police Capt. Mike Cobb said.

The woman waited in the parking lot and pulled a gun on the stylist when she arrived. She then walked back into the salon and demanded $100.


Only in America, folks.

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a gorilla with no superego.