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Saturday, December 11, 2004


sam and grammar 

My friend allison, who is also in naomi's grammar class, apparently, also remembers that class where sam flipped.


And Odious Pride A Million More 

I think I should use the word "motherfucker" more in sentences. In telling stories maybe "this guy" could be replaced with "this motherfucker", not in an angry way though. Certainly I think some profs should try and do this, just causually throw it in.

Speaking of motherfuckers, my TA in economics is evidently Anne L. Retentive. I just got a test back, and I'm not mad just bemused cause I did well, and there was some very creative marking. I got doc'd 5% because in answering a question I used up all the room in the space provided and had to give the third answer below. I'm not going to complain or anything but I hope she's not marking my exam.

While studying for Stuarts I noticed my notes are of intermittant quality. Instead of "elector palatine" I have written down "emperor palpatine".

And now your fun fact of the day: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is "the fear of long words".

Friday, December 10, 2004


The Most Terriblest Thing 

This was something I found in Wednesday's Toronto Star.

Just awful.


Droppin' Names Like I Was Droppin' Science 

So me an' Leo went to the Excalibur staff par-tay, along with (for the first part) Colleen an' Jenna. I enjoyed it; liquor was free (if not plentiful), food was good and I got to Hob-Nob with some of my fellow comics writers like Mike Stapleton and the legendary Bev Calder (no "I Am Jack" guy Mike Edmund(?), tho. Prolly has too many people out for his blood). Anyways, that was cool, specially since Bev seemed less aloof than Jon Blair apparently is (according to the aforementioned Mike Stapleton, Blair refused to return his E-mails and wouldn't run his comic), even being "in on the joke" with some things that I would have thought restricted to our circle (single tear). The best part of the Excal party would have to be the El Presidente, a great blue cocktail drink I had. I'd post the recipe, but none of the online bartending sites have the recipe that I drunk. Alas.

Now, when this party wound down, we had some time to kill before we left for home, so I managed to convince Leo to go to the karaoke place, which was free! We sang some crazy thai(?) song we didn't understand plus a few karaoke standards, but guess who we saw there? THE STAR, from when Ben was moderating improv! The girl who was her own team! Apparently, she now goes to Yark and goes to the karaoke place every pub night! For the attention! Shine on, you narcissistic diamond!

This is Sam Linton, signing off.

Thursday, December 09, 2004


Top 10 

I tried to post this as a comment on Jacob's but it failed.

1. Synopsis - Obie Trice - 40
2. Black Zombies - Nas - 28
3. Cemantics - Canibus - 27
4. Intro (Stillmatic) - Nas - 27
5. No Gimmicks - Obie Trice - 27
6. Got Some Teeth - Obie Trice - 26
7. Frozen Flame - Chrono Cross Soundtrack (!) - 26
8. Bad Dreams - Busta Rhymes - 25
9. N.Y. State of Mine, Pt. 2 - Nas - 25
10. One Love - Nas - 25

Someone asked me yesterday what I've been listening to lately and the only names I could think of were Nas and Obie Trice. The song on there I would really reccomend for everybody is Got Some Teeth. If you really analyze the beat on that song it stands up to 26 listens easily. The olde timeyness is very present but at the same time the track bounces with the best of them.

I went to the dentist's today. I have a cavity in the side of my tooth. An "air abrasion" I have to go back and take care of that in (sic) Janruary. Damn teeth. And apparently all of my wisdom teeth are erupting and whatnot.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Deconstructing my music 

I know some people may be getting sick of Scoop-posts so this is the last one. The Scoop is done. Spent 4-5 hours today and got the issue out. Tommorrow it will be printed and distributed. Maybe I shouldn't be using the passive voice in that sentence. Tommorrow, [i]I[/i] will be printing and distributing it. I'm getting 3 hours of work credit for this, but I've spent more time than that today. Counting up all the time I spent on it far exceeds that. Oh well, such is art. At least I'm not that girl who spent hours making a Christmas wordsearch that I didn't use because I could either put in it, or an extra Y&W (You have to choose Roy!).

Speaking of Y&W's I used the first one (cause it's funny and it started off the real comics) and the one with the dream sequence in it. I may have to touch up the letter's on Sam's comic (Empty Spaces?) because they might not print well.

So I was looking at iTunes and I noticed there's a most played playlist and I checked it. My Top Ten played songs were surprising.

1. Drunk Girl 4:16 Something Corporate
2. Innocence 3:45 Our Lady Peace
3. 4am 4:17 Our Lady Peace
4. Sample in a Jar 4:43 Phish
5. Paint it black 3:20 Gob
6. The Trees 4:47 Rush
7. Over 2:50 SR-71
8. Gourmandias 4:19 Alizée
9. How You Remind Me 3:31 Nickleback
10. Too Bad 3:54 Nickleback

30% of this list (Something Corporate, Gob and SR-71) are what a charitible observer would call "pop-punk" and a less-charitible observer would call "boy-bands". But at least there's no Good Charlotte! Oh wait that's at #14. The songs are also relatively recent, even the oldest song on the list (The Trees) is only about a quarter-century old. All the others are from the '90's. I don't have any song that breaks 5 minutes up there, it looks like the average is around 3 and a half minutes. There's a Phish song in the top five even though I don't really like Phish (or even that song for that matter). Probably the only unusual song up there is #8 which is by a French pop singer.

Anyone else with iTunes (or an equivelent program that records such things) care to post their 10 ten?


I'm Deuuuuune! 

I'm deuu-euuune. I'm deuu-euuune! I'm deuuu-euuuune!


What a Crazy Dream! 

Okay, I just had a really odd dream that I have to share.

So I'm eating a meal with Leo at a restaurant, and I was really enjoying a club sandwich, when some people I knew from high school burst in and hold up the place (at least in the dream, I knew them from high school. When I woke up I realized that they were all characters from Degrassi). So anyways, as one of 'em (Snake, possibly) jams a gun into the cashiers ribs, I turn to Leo and say "Hey, I know these guys!" So I go over to Joey and start talking like "So, what've you been doing since grad?" And he tells me he's been robbin' people, and I'm all like "Oh. Right. Cool." So anyways, somehow Joey cons me into holding a gun for him "in case things get sticky" and I end up in a shootout with the cops. Anyways, we lose and myself and the Degrassi gang are arrested and taken to the secret prison in 9th basement of Stong College (the 8th being the REAL location of Guantanamo Bay). Anyways, they were gonna lead me into the interrogation char, but then I woke up. Anyways, throughout the whole episode I hade the vague sense that it was all probably a dream, but I wasn't aware enough of this to act on it in any way. In any case, it was entertaining.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004


The Huuuuuuuudge 

So I figured out that in outgoing Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson is The Riddler. In his last press conference Thompson said: “For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do." This is eerily similar to this description of the Riddler (from this Superfriend mocking site):
You can win with a shitty football player on your team -- all you have to do is stop throwing him the ball. But if you have a player that hangs out on the other team's bench and tells them the plays you're going to run and who forgot to wear their cup, your team's in trouble.

So The Scoop's going to press today and so I have to decide which of Leo's comics to put in (for Sam's I've decided). Interesting enough as I pondered this question I saw an ad for a cereal restuarant that incorporated two of his comic's themes:

I guess it's kinda odd that there's a restaurant that serves nothing but breakfest cereal, but hey you can never go broke banking on yuppie nostalgia.

Oh and also, I posted yesterday but forgot to mention that it was Action Against Violence Against Women Day. So yeah, it was.


Edit: Having some troubles with the images.


My stomach is churning 

And now comes the dead baby jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What do vegetarian orges eat?
Cabbage Patch Kids

Those were some of the least awful I could find. I should remember some of these for the radio show.

I'm now coming home on Friday, who wants to go out that night? The answer is: you all do.



Goin' GRAPE 

Well, damn. How the hell do you follow up a drawing of evil skellingtons?

You don't!

But I must try. Anyways, I workshopped & performed my monologue in acting yesterday, which seemed to go well. Worksopping was great, exspecially the part where I had 5 ladies dragging me outta the room (long story). Anyways, I'm done w/that now, so hooray!

Also, I've been trying to bring up the latest Homestar Runner bit in conversation, but apparently no on has seen it. So here it is. Nothing could be easier. All you have to do is click a link.


Sweet dreams. 

Monday, December 06, 2004


Are You Popular? 

One week today my exams start. So it seems like it should be studying from this point on. Of course there are three main problems with that, an essay on Friday, The Scoop for Tuesday and studying isn't fun. Oh well, c'est la vie I gues. In my English History class we learn a lot about the monarchs. King James I was quite a fun guy, but also very private. Once when told his subjects had gathered to see him and pay homage to him James responded, "God's wounds! I will pull down my breaches and they shall also see my arse". Also (presumably) seeing the King's arse were his many gay lovers. One of whom, George Williers got a number of appropriate sounding titles: Gentleman of the Bedchamber, master of the Horse, knight of the Garter and Duke of Buckingham.

Also likely to conflict with my studies is this great site: www.archive.org. It's got (among other things) lots of old '50's movies online for free.
Some of my favourites are:
Are You Popular? ("When Jerry brags about taking Jenny out he learns that she dates all the boys, and he feels less important")

Duck and Cover ("Sundays, holidays, vacation time, we must be ready every day–all the time–to do the right thing when the atomic bomb explodes")

How To Say No: Moral Maturity (Which explains how to say no to unwanted smoking, drinking and petting, and still keep your friends)

And of course the film that needs no introduction, Reefer Madness


I AM DONE GUY 

I am happy to note that http://www.porkingpigs.com is not a website.

My last exams were today. I'm pretty sure that I fucked one up, but the other I murda'd so hard, plus I got my essay back from my FACS 3400 class and it was a good mark so BAM! Excellent. I am in good spirits.

Plan was to go to catch23 improv tonight but for Sam and Colleen and Jenna, you guys avec whom I was planning this, I can't. I actually have some stuff I have to hand in tomorrow and thus I gotta stay up here in Yarkland, so next week is when I want to go. If y'all want to go without me, it's at Clinton's Tavern which is right at Christie station on the corner of Clinton and Bloor. It starts at 9pm and costs five buicks I'm pretty sure.

Yes, that's right. five buicks. That isn't a typo.

I wrote the most awesome book on my way home from school today, it is rad to the max. It is about many things, and will win me the Nobel Prize in literature when I get around to actually transcribing it. Look for it in stores someday.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Hilarious? 

I saw Shaun of the Dead yesterday and it was hi-larious. Top notch. Then I headed from the Bloor Cinema to go to ShellBrains' house. And who do I see on the street? MT, Nick and Tin. Wow. Nick is SO DRUNK. We decide to go play a game of fooseball and I play this awesome game where you shoot ninjas with a gun. So it's Tin's birthday and they're doing karaoke. Okay. I will see what this karaoke bar is like. You guys seem drunk and partysome. As much as I loath karaoke in principle, it is one of these things you should try once, like Dungeons and Dragons to see if you like it. If you don't like it, you can now authoritatively diss it using specific examples. Well, this turned out to be one of those times. it was really lame. It wasn't even a karaoke bar, it was a little room that they rent for $60 / hr where they sit and sing. And only Nick was drunk and most of them were not very drunk or all sobering up. Although, to his credit, Tin did a pretty good job with "Lose Yourself" by th' Eminem. That song is crazy with the internal rhyme structure.

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a gorilla with no superego.