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Saturday, February 26, 2005


Garden State, or, That Movie Bev Calder Really Liked 

I think I may have done this bit before. That bit where I saw "This movie made me want to be in film again." Cause it did. Fuck. I would totally have made that movie.

But then it's done. Back to FACS.

Actually I think I might just

I dunno. I dunno what I think I might just do. I'll leave it blank for the time being. Anyways you should all watch Garden State, it's fantastic, I forgive Natalie Portman for Star Wars and for ever thinking that she wasn't hot, and I'm going to shoot Zach Braff in the face and become him.

Somehow, saying that i'm going to shoot him in the face, particularly, makes it seem that much less likely. Like I said I'm going to shoot him in the nose, or his left nipple.

I have been murda-sick recently, moreso than I have been in years, runnin ein fieber, coughing up a lung, und schnupfin, und durchfall. Only Ashley knows what that last one is. I had to work nine hours basically without eating. Oh, I had a chocolate bar. But when you're sick that's like sticking a pencil down your throat. I figured I was dead, but then I realized I was just on the subway. I am still sick, but slightly less so than previously. Hopefully I can get some work done, as I have two papers due in two weeks with a collective page count of 24-28, and barely any of my research done. But I did get two other papers back Wednesday, A and A+. It's nice to hear, cause I have been unsure how I've been doing lately. From this end of the stick, it's been looking (academically) pretty shitful. But hey. Guess I'm wrong. Far be it from me to complain. Those essays were pretty awesome, in retrospect.

And so, another verbose, sporadic post by me comes to a close. Final words to take with you: Watch motherfuckin Garden State. For chrissakes.


Friday, February 25, 2005


I'm an Educator! 

So the other day (wednesday) I decide to do a brief drop-by at my old school. It turns into an hour. Nice people the teachers, though being back made me glad that I was gone. I sat in briefly at a grade 9 science class taught my one of my favourite teachers. The class was pretty disruptive and you could tell he was getting pretty miffed at them.
Him: Now when an atom has a charge it is called an-, anyone? anyone?
[no one speaks]
Him: An ion.
Guy: Hey, in the second [sic] star wars movie there was an ion cannon.
Him: Yes?
Guy: Could that be real?
Him [sighing]: I really don't know. Jacob, you got any ideas.
Me [startled]: Well uh [turns on technobabble] I guess you could focus a stream of ionized particles with some form of magnetic field and create a tesla pulse that could be aimed at your target.
[impressed noises from the class].

Anyway, another teacher asked if I could talk to her class about university. I said yes, but then it turned out it was the next day. So on thursday I headed back to Oakwood and gave a brief rambling speech to the class. I answered some questions and gave them my recipe for KD and campbell's cream of mushroom soup. The teacher asked what I would've done differently in high school using the knowledge I had now. The real answer would be: "Do less work, it wasn't really necessary" but instead I said something about more extra-ciriculurs.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Stunts, Mssions and Conquests 

Through loadingreadyrun.com I have just discovered a great site hosted by a group called Improv Everywhere, an improv troupe that "causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places." They do missions to break the mundane 9-5 life of New Yorkers. I was so impressed with their stunts (which they record with pictures and commentary and often with video. Some of their missions are similar to stuff we have tried to pull just a lot more ambitious and prepared. I want to start the Toronto chapter of Improv Everywhere or some other name.


Neil really dished out the pain this week 

He punches Meyers in the face, gives Sam a cold, and gives me a cold that turns into bronchitis, and possibly pneumonia. WHAT THE HELL, NEIL!?


I'ma Kill You, Neil 

Givin' me your cold? That's low. LOW.

Fuck, I'ma go back to sleep.


Ya know what rocks? 

Curling! That's what rocks. Lot's of yelling, drinking, sliding myself and a rock across a sheet of ice with a broom. Wow those are some of my favourite activities! CBC keeps reshowing ads for every national curling event in the next year "London we're grooowing the game, we've got the Hearts!"




Yo. 

Yeah, weekend was great. But I spent a lot of money. Whoooooo. When is drinkin' s'posed to happen? Where did this whole plan come from? I am up for drinking, lord knows.

Anyhow. Did some improv stuff today, and got the new shirt which looks AWESOME, I will totally wear it all the time. You guys'll see it soon enough. It's pretty slick. I also bought a shirt with a mexican wrestler mask on it, and a snake or something, 12 bucks from H&M. This place might just be okay.

In other awesomer news, I bought two records today: a single by The Revolting Cocks (I have never heard of them. But it interested me) and Loc'd After Dark by none other than Tone Loc! It's pretty fantastic. Funky Cold Medina + such. Leo can get angry, I guess.

Fuck my brains hurt. I have to get up in 6 hours. Jesus.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Grr. tense. 

Grr, everything is awful again. Didn't pitch anything on Monday. Heard 7 pitches on Monday, 5 to be selected. I liked three pitches. One guy offered me a spot on his project. His project wasn't selected neither was another one i liked. The last one was selcted but the director already had all his positions filled. i may switch classes for this one project. You can do that sometimes when other students want to work with their other friends. shit, i should have arranged something with chuck ages ago.

Now I have to write an essay for 20% of my mark in film theory and i am basically copying a reading from the text and putting into my own words / metaphors.

then on thu i'mma go drink w/ y'all hopefully but after that i still have to synch gwendolyn and rufus. good news is someone else will edit it.
But, during my work break (as if - i'm so fucking unproductive) i have posted some MT comics from the Murdaborough trip as per Sam's request. Also, the 3rd comic in the "Apple Sunshine: Former Child Star" series is up also.

Fun!

And so I'm all self pitying and then I feel stupid for pitying myself when my problems are fairly insignificant.
Also, I got my application to KB which I thought would make me feel better, but I think it just makes me feel worse every time i think about how much happier I'd be if I was there right now.


Gorilla to Researchers: Show Me Your Tits! 

Good times at P'Borough and this time no two-four related mishaps. Battle Royale was a great movie, though I think the director erred with his all Green Day soundtrack. One of my favourite things about that town is the Little Caesar (an obscure chain that has almost 200 franchises in Canada) 10 topping pizza. And speaking about pizza, here's something I thought was a joke. I mean, pizza's not exactly a fantasy-themed food. Shouldn't it be some kind of roast beef place? Oh well as long as it's not seen in the game, I guess it's okay.

I have absolutely no context for this article. Perhaps our fellow primates aren't so different from us.

Sunday, February 20, 2005


Goin' Ape in the P Dot. 

Is this what happens when we go away for one week? Nothing???

Well, I'm back from Murdahbouragh, and had a blast. For those who weren't there, here's some bullet points to summarize the trip:

-Red Bull and J├Ągermeister is AWESOME
-Battle Royale is an amazingly entertaining movie
-Neil and Meyers are trapped in an abusive relationship
-When you buy a keg tap, always make sure it works
-Benji caused 9/11

I'm sure that other things happened, but those're the important parts.


well...at least I got him into bed with me 

Circumstance blows.

That's all it comes down to. Had an awesome day with a friend that I kinda had a thing for last term - but thought he might just be rebound and didn't pursue it. Until we both brought it up about a week ago - because it was mutual - so I said we'd talk over bubble tea.

So he drove down from waterloo & we spent the day watching movies (SPACE BALLS!), went out for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant (mmm) and bubble tea. And so over my mango real fruit yoghurt smoothie we talked...actually, I just said "so here are my problems as I see it. Red Rock & Alberta. Waterloo and Toronto. David." (Just so you know, David is the third musketeer, who was interested in me about a year ago - and is really insecure). And he just nodded and said "I was thinking the exact same thing. And it kind of sucks because we're actually on the same wavelength here...and it's really too bad...because we'd be good." And we would - given a different situation. God, I want to have stupid crushes again that never get resolved. I hate being rational.

But we are awesome friends and that is that. It's no big kick in the face, but I know how single I'll remain for the rest of my University career. Meh. Thats why I have friends like you guys :D We better party hard when I get back to the T.Dot.

~At.

--> oh, the bed thing was that we had half an hour to blow before he left - SO WE HAD WILD PASSIONATE MONKEY SEX. Er, he read to me from R. Scott Bakker's "The Prince of Nothing" - which he gave to me as a birthday present and I hadn't really gotten too far into. And then there was sex. Fantasy rocks my jocks.

So does this. Love Hina dating RPG game - online. Motoko was my "allocated mating source". Go too much time on my hands!

***UH, CLARIFICATION: THERE WAS *NO* SEX. DEAR GOD.*** -- Robin William's arm got more action than either of us. Have any of you seen the HBO special? Gack!

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a gorilla with no superego.