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Saturday, August 07, 2004


Sexbots, Hellboys and Modems 

Well I'm up in Kingston so I finally have access to a computer with internet. I've been off ape (and msn etc) because my modem back in Toronto decided to die on me and they still haven't sent a replacement. The newer one should be faster so that's the cloud in the silver lining.

Maddy's party was fun, with a good selection of people well versed in what I like to call "our culture" (i.e. nerds). One of them had a good laugh at my expense trying to get me to factor 701 (hint, it's a prime). Then he explained his hexagram based combat system to me. Then a drunk 17 year-old girl started screaming at us both because she hated math.

As others have mentioned Hell Boy was actually quite good. I saw it again with director's commentary and they pointed out some really interesting ways they used colour (There would be "green" or "blue" scenes where that colour was the dominant motiff and then black-and-white-with-Red-Hellboy-Being-The-Only-Colour).

Finally my internet alterego, who's #1 on a google search for my name (we're still only #2 for "goin' ape") has his own ingenious application of the Turing Test. He made a cybersex program and unleashed it upon irc, collecting a list of logs of actual conversations. I'm glad my doppleganger is putting his skills to good use.


Never Again... 

Spent pretty much all of yesterday recovering from one of the most massive hangovers that I've ever had in my life. Had to lie in bed for 4 hours after I woke up, just couldn't move without nausea. Anyways, I think I've learned a valuable lesson from this, and will be limiting my alcoholic consumption at parties from now onward (also, no more drinking out of bottles marked "XXX")

So, if you were at Maddy's party, there's a good chance I owe you an apology. Sorry.

Well, now that I got that off'a my chest, I feel much better. Let's just all put this behind us now.

Friday, August 06, 2004


Real Good Party 

Maddy's birthday bash was pretty great, even for a sober man like myself. A lot of geeky people were at the party, and weren't SUPER drunk, so I could have a conversation with them. A rare event for me. The UFA crowd generally just gets tanked and throws up. In this respect I am pleased to say that Sam was true to form that evening. He was quite the spectacle. Everyone stopped in to say hi. Maddy tried to kill him for vomitting on her good shoes. Neil had to clean all the vomit up. All I had to do was make sure Sam didn't drown in either the toilet or his own vomit. Good times all round.

I just got a call from Zellers. I may end up at the customer service desk. I think that'd be pretty sweet. I wouldn't have to do anything, really, except point vaguely and give the wrong directions to an entire host of customers. My excuse? "We just had a reorganization and my store map is old." I think I'd hold out for at least a week.


um 

so the body shop isn't hiring ANYONE again, but I'm one of their considerations for the future, apparently.

camping: SOMEONE GET A CAR FROM A FAMILY MEMBER, G*DD@MN IT! my family HATES me, and for good reason. you also don't want to find out what that reason is. BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA ALREADY...

also, matt, yes, for that statement, you are officially a babe.

I applaud you most especially, but no one else unless they find us a vehicle: either a cars meyers can drive other people in, or a van driven by someone's parents. or if they really trust us, a van meyers can drive other people in.

I'm off to die due to a cold. and maybe dye my hair. we'll see.

Thursday, August 05, 2004


Gettin' all folked up - and strippin' down @ the Hurket Dock 

Hey all!

Just a quickie (*snicker*) to let you all know I'm still alive and kicking.

I've become an official townie now - complete with a fishing licience and the eating of moose meat sandwiches for lunch (which rendered me kneeling in front of the toilet in the girl’s lockeroom for about 30 minutes this afternoon. But I can say I ate it anyways. And lived. So I'm a massochist.).

Work is still good - particularily when a number of people are bringing me in chocolate baked goods. I love it. Been mostly up on the roof shovelling sawdust (fear my mad shoulder muscles) or driving around in a 1 tonne dump truck. And yes, today I actually got to drive it. Woot. Watch out 401!!

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Red Rock's second annual 'folk festival' - which last year proudly bore the slogan 'I got folked up at the Rock', but which they changed this year, after further consideration, to "Live From The Rock - Folk Festival". Needless to say I'm most dissappointed about this. Scar the children, who cares! Anyway, the whole point of this quasi-paragraph is to say that I'm volunteering there - 5 hours tomorrow, 3 on Sat. And I'm psyched. It promises to be a blast, and there must be SOME hot musicians.

For those of you who may (or may not) have noticed my MSN nickname the past couple days, the story is simple. I was fishing with two of my friends down here - and Lee Ann and I get it in our heads that it might be fun to throw Ryan into the lake. Yeah, probably NOT a good idea to try to take on a guy that's 6 2' and ridiculously strong (he's a farm boy - except not). So he ends up picking ME up and carrying me over to the edge - and Lee and I both know he's too chicken shit to actually toss me - except that he does. Just bloody hucks me into the lake, shoes, sweater, sunglasses and all. So I was pretty pissed. And in the end I managed to drag him in (though I now suspect that he might not have been fighting as hard as he could have been) and THEN he loses his bloody glasses. So its about 11 feet deep off the end of the dock, there's weeds and rocks and crap - and I'm guilted into trying to find them. So, thinking carefully, I realize I have no chance of finding them with all the clothes I had on weighing me down. So I relieved myself of them. Poor Ry. He's such a modest church boy too, and the look on his face when I announced my pants were coming off --- but in all fairness he was shirtless. And I've got pictures, ladies ;)Oh. I found the glasses. Heh.

Well, I'm out - gotta eat and then help my ma write up an eviction letter.


~ Ash

P.S. It's looking like I won't be back until some time in September, and even then I gotta pack up and move to UW - so unless we scam a day at some point near the end of the summer, I might not get to see any of you until I come back some weekend :(

P.S.S. Credit cards are evil - and impulsive shoppers are victims.

P.S.S.S. Neil, you're my hero. Lucky bastard.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


I'm so clever 

Good news everyone! Today I was told at work that I'd be getting SmartServe (tm) training at work!
Finally after three weeks of bartending I'll be able to do it legally. Also they are opening a second bar at work, one that serves mix drinks, so I'll get to do twice as much bartending and it will be "real" bartending. I am excited.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004


Contributing in our own way. 

So I realized today - I haven't mucked around with the blog template at all since Ben gave me overlord access to Goin' Ape. So I started by organizing the archives into an easier-to-read column.

Also, since us Apers should be extra-vigilant in combatting terrorism, I've added an Alert Status indicator to the left column. As you can see, the United States is currently are at a national alert status of Bert, with NYC and DC one step up at Ernie.


Nice Glasses, Four Eyes! 

Guess what "eye" got today?

Yes, my long awaited "spectro-cles" have finally arrived, allowing me to see in fine detail what was previously a blur! (or at least, a bit blurry around the edges) Where once I saw a red brick wall, I now see a red brick wall with some detail added! Pretty much, I've upgraded my vision to HDV!

There is, of course, a downside to all of this. Being used to seeing in a slight "soft focus", I must say that me and my fellow human beings look much better with my astigmatism. Hard focus just brings out the blemishes.

So, in conclusion, my new glasses, though wildly useful, will mostly be restricted to their practical purposes, such as reading blackboards & subtitles.


Monday, August 02, 2004


Me Again 

And so, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of its former shell, I return again to this blog, bringing with me the soul which has so long been absent from these pages.

This may not be up the standard of Spider-Man's childhood trauma, but it's something, and I found it. Read and be entertained!


Post party report 

So we had my parents 20th anniversary party last night. We emptied the keg and my parents got about a dozen bottles of wine as presents. The hors-d'oeuvres from EAT were great and so were the multiple cakes from Dufflets. Today I return to CFB Borden for the remaining 2 weeks of camp. I come back to T.O. on the 15 then it's off to KillBenLeo. Huzzah!

I'll try to kill my way to a computer with terrornet access so I can be involved with camping planning, but don't count on it. It would be really keen if someone with loving parents was willing to drive us to the park or lend us an automobile.

see you all in two weeks

Sunday, August 01, 2004


Un demi-mille or something. 

This is post #500 on the Ape. Spanning about 4 months, that makes for about 4 posts per day. Odd, I didn't think we blathered that much.

Waiting for a call back from Jacob, and trying to decide whether I should go into work tomorrow. The Munk Centre will be closed, and so I'll likely be the only one there. My boss has formally told me not to run around the building naked, so that crushes plan A...


Babe-mobile is fine 

I'm just as sexy as any of you.

Seeing as no one else has remembered, I take it upon myself to wish Ben a happy 19th birthday, since it was on the 31st of July. It sucks that he was away for it, but what the hell can you do.

Shirin, sorry I couldn't call you. I was away at my cousin's farm and I think they would have resented the long-distance call. There were groundhogs there, though. My cousin shot one right in the ear with a high powered rifle. You could barely see the exit wound, the bullet was so thin. We also played with waterguns, which are significantly less powerful. And a potato cannon, which rocked. And a bottle launcher. I think my dad's side of the family has a real thing for guns.


um... -4- babes in the babemobile? I'm assuming Maddy's going wherever Neil goes... 

not unless Matt is hiding something from us... it'll be laura, mir, matt and me in zee babemobile, which I guess we can call the bat mobile for Matt's sake. and just for now. (it'll always be known as the babemobile in my heart... yes!)

bus fares: awww... cheers to you for pitching in, Meyers.

now speaking of money.... here's my take on the payment situation equation:

(TOTAL site fees/9)+(TOTAL bus fares/9)
=[(approx. 58$ *2)/9]+[2 student fares +2 (15$) fares +1 adult/student fare discounted by 25%, aka Meyers]
=LOTSA MONEY

um, unless we rent a car. then:

(TOTAL site fees/9)+(TOTAL car rental fee/9)
=[(approx. 58$ *2)/9]+[(?????)/9]
=LOTSA MONEY EITHER WAY.

OR!!!!!!!!!!!

(TOTAL site fees/9)+(someone's parent lends us a car or van)
=[(approx. 58$ *2)/9]+[love!]
=NOT AS MUCH MONEY.


which one is most appealing? hein?hein? I -know-. now is it possible?




Post-Shindiggery. 

I think I speak for everyone when I say that the shindig went alright. Hellboy was better than I expected, and it was good finally putting real faces on Shirin and Meyers instead of the 'Ape icons.

I was totally wiped yesterday, I think it was thanks to my 17 hours of wakefulness/activity the day prior. So I mostly lounged around the house, got a little bit of work done, went to bed early. Today I had a couple of Mexican beers with an old friend and we bitched about the system and why university sucks. Good times.


Bus fares 

So I was doing some research in the event that we have to bus to Killbear (which is looking increasingly likely). The are three daily buses to Parry sound 6:30, 12:30 and 5:00. The bus at 6:30 takes 3 hrs 45 min, the other two 3 hrs 15 min.
Unfortunately the cost may be a hurdle for some people. Regular adult One Way to Parry Sound is $44.67 but we get 10% off if we show a recognised student card and 25% if you have a International Student Identification Card (luckily I do). What will make this better though is Companion fare, buy one student ticket get another for $15. There's the facts. I'm not sure how many of us would be taking the bus, by my count if there's 4 babes in the Babemobile that leaves 5 on the bus.

Rereading Shirin's Official Camping Notice I see that we'd go thursday, friday and saturday, which is fine for me, I guess pople have to work sunday.

On another note today is my parents big anniversary/mom's B-Day party. My mom's best friend and her husband arrived yesterday. They brought with them a 96 pint keg. It's home brewed but he's been brewing beer for 30 years so it should be pretty good.

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a gorilla with no superego.