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Saturday, April 10, 2004


First Exam 

I love when my profs contradict each other. No, not how my politics and economics teachers talking about how the other is wrong, wrong. My prof has this obsession with the big picture, he's said something like, "I don't want this exam to be about trivia [trivial pursuits sometimes]" about a gazillion times (well... five, that's close to a "gazillion" right?). Then I take my history exam and what is it? Trivia!

(37) Which of the following occurred first?
a) The death of Harry S. [sic] Truman
b) NSC-68
c) The Suez Crisis
d) George Kennan's "Long Telegram"

Multiple that by 50 and you've got the exam. Well, the multiple choice part at least. Then come the three essays (or as they called them, the "two" essays despite there being three of them). Due to a horrible allocation of time I reached the 80's (In my History Of The World 1960-1990™ essay) when there was 5 minutes left. My hand was aching (all red!) my scrawl was eligible and then the bell rang. So I scribble down "Then a bunch of things happened and the Soviet Union fell apart, the end". Or something like that, I can't remember my exact words/what the actual words on the paper were.

Then to celebrate finishing the exam I studied politics for 3 hours. Joy.


Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Borrowed Comic Books 

It was a fine spring day in Idaville, and Leroy Brown, called Encyclopedia by all but his parents and teachers, was biking to the local comic store. The last issue of his favourite comic book, Suberec, was due to come out today, and Encyclopedia was anxious to read it.

Outside the store awaited his junior detective partner, Sally Kimball. Encyclopedia and Sally operated a detective agency out of his garage. Cases cost 25 cents a day, plus expenses-- no case too small. She also wished to purchase a Suberec comic book.

But before they could enter the store, Rick Plymouth, the local comics know-it-all, rode up to them on his bike. "Encyclopedia!" he cried. "I went to your house, but your mother said you had come here. I need your help!" Rick thrust a quarter into Encyclopedia's hand.

When he had caught his breath, Rick explained his predicament. "I was telling Andy Perkins the other day at school that I have all 299 Surabec comics, as well as all the bi-monthlies, reprints, and special editions," he said. "I was hoping that I could lend them to Andy so he would be interested, and be my friend. But someone must have overheard me, because when we went to go get them out of my locker, they were gone!"

"Hmm," Encyclopedia mused. "That sure sounds like the work of Bugs Meany. Let's head over the the Tigers' clubhouse now." The Tigers were a local band of miscreants headed by Bugs. The three rode over the the shack behind Ed's gas station, where the Tigers hung out. Bugs Meany and the Tigers were roughhousing outside.

"Hey! Bugs!" shouted Rick. But Bugs continued to roughhouse, pretending he didn't hear. "Bugs! Bugs Weany!" Sally called. Sally was the only person Bugs was afraid of because she had a black belt in Karate. He stopped and walked over to the three. "Yeah? What do you want?" he sneered.

"Rick here thinks you took his comic books out of his locker," stated Encyclopedia Brown. "Did you?"

"How could I?" asked Bugs. "I can't get into someone else's locker."

"That's true," admitted Encyclopedia. "Rick, is there something you haven't told us?"

Rick looked ashamed. "Well, actually, I lent them to Bugs. He said that if I lent them all to him, he would let me join the Tigers. I have no friends because I spend all my time reading comic books, so when he offered, I jumped at the chance."

"I wouldn't want a nerd like him in the Tigers! Why would I say that? Anyway, I don't like comics. I wouldn't want any of his, and I sure don't want the last one coming out today," Bugs growled.

Encyclopedia turned to Sally and Rick. "Well, there we have it," he said. "I know what happened to the comic books."

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COMIC BOOKS?



SOLUTION TO THE CASE OF THE BORROWED COMIC BOOKS
Bugs had obviously read the Suberec comics, because he knew that today was the day the final comic was released. When Encyclopedia pointed this out, Bugs admitted to keeping the comics. "But that stupid schlub doesn't deserve to get them back!" Bugs exclaimed. "He's too stupid and submissive to have his own friends. He lent those comics to me a month ago, and hasn't so much as asked for them back until now! I say he deserves what he got!"

"I agree," said Encyclopedia, turning to Rick. "Schlubs like you don't deserve cool shit like Suberec comics. Go cry to your mommy, pansy." Sally then punched Rick in the belly, and he ran off crying. Bugs claimed Rick's bike.

Sally and Encyclopedia then rode back to the comic store and bought the last issue of Suberec with Rick's quarter.


Bloody Hell 

exams, damnit.


I need to study for goddamn exams! Actually study! Not look up the sylabus and reward myself with 9 hours of video games then bed, but acutally open some text books and read them cover to cover!

Actually despite exams I'm pretty relaxed right now, though I still need to find a summer job, fun fun....


Friday, April 09, 2004


Ape Ost (A Post) or... "Doin' Dumbshit" 

Hockey, Survivor, Apprentice, "Great Movie" then Mortal Kombat III and New Awful music. Then BenjBox insisted we all go to the Ab (college pub). So we did it. That lasted a while and I had a conversation with my hero/arch-nemesis. Got a half-drunk approval to take his spot, along side Sam, after he leaves. Then we left the Ab and threw rocks at some ugly modern steelwork sculpture. Then Benj and WB got into a newspaper duel. Then we arrived back at Winters. In my room in the dark BenjBox tried talking to JS on MSN. They made too much noise and woke up my roommate, so I brought them to the common room. That was about 3am. At about 5am after conversation and music BenjBox got the idea that it would be swell to not sleep at all. So we stayed up all night listening to music, talking and then we caught the children's line-up on TVO from 6-8. We saw Blue's Clues and I was extremely upset to see how close it is to the show I invented before even know how Blue's Clues works. WB was really holding out for Arthur, though. Inspired a show called Scarthur, which would combine aspects of Arthur and Scarface. Scarthur learns valuable lessons like "don't fuck with the yae yo" and "never underestimate the next man's greed". At 8am on Good Friday the only place open for food on campus is Subway. A roastbeef sub is not the best breakfast, but it's not the worst. Much to the amusement of BenjBox a fellow was sleeping in the foodcourt. In a most daring and orthodox stunt, BenjBox placed cans behind the sleeping man as so that if he was to shift the empty cans would tumble over and clank about. One can only imagine the poor drunk's confusion. Got back and slept from 9am til 4pm.


Okay, where did everyone go? 

What the hell, guys? NO Thursday posts?

Today's Good Friday. I don't see what's so good about it, though. If you believe it, it just means that your god got nailed to a tree - not very deity-like.

If I were to believe in a supreme being, it'd be a cool one, like Ganesh. I'd like to see them try and nail him to a cross. He'd smack the shit out of them with his 4 arms.

School is done, but I am not. I have to finish one assignment which I got an extension for. And a pile of work to do for my job, that's been piling up all week. @!$%&.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004


Sir Blogworthy of Nottingswind-on-the-Ipple 

Or so it was dubbed.





venus in furs says: (8:07:18 PM)

   second suitor, if you took me on a date, where would we go?

ROBOT CHÉ GUEVARA -"Fear the hidden nazis living next door." says: (8:11:43 PM)

   me? i'd take you to some back alley cockfight. if we won, i'd rent a posh-ass hotel room for us. if we lost, i guess we'd just do it in the bathroom at bloor and yonge.


Ape Bombin' 

So I dropped th' bomb on SM at roughly 4am. Shit, considering there was a new post with a trekkie joke, I shoulda maximized the explosion to a much greater degree. But it was late, I was operating in the dark and had only the time until Neil returned to check the Greyhound schedule. I could only remember those three quotes of the top of my head and didn't have the time or the focus to quickly shift through anything else looking for more profanity. Now, properly speaking, the bomb was not that bad. I might have posted those lyrics here as a non-bomb. In this case it's the context that makes the joke. By the way, I took the papers down to the WhiteBox Office at N.A. headquarters and it looks like SM will qualify as a Schlubbian Institution quite soon.


Pretty sad indeed. 

Yeah. Well, on the other hand, most of the bloggers were in the same place (same room for a while) yesterday, so I guess it's kind of excusable. It was good seeing you guys again, even if I didn't manage to stay and get loaded.

On the other hand, Ben, my back is fucking killing me after lugging that synthesizer out to York yesterday. I'm going to be walking it off for the next week.

I'm really dreading one of my exams. Surprisingly (or perhaps not surprisingly) it's an open book exam. We're going to get mauled.


How sad is this? 

One post the whole day? Jesus.

Tea costs so goddamn much. A buck for a fucking tea bag? I could buy a box of them for like, three dollars, and get 25 or something. That's nearly a 1000% markup. These SodexHo jerkoffs are brilliant, evil geniuses. See also their stupid apples that cost a TRILLION BAJILLION dollars.

Leo is totally going to shock and awe SM in like five minutes. We are all toe-tappingly ecstatic in our anticipation of this great event-to-be. He (Leo) is mildly inebriated, and nursing a beer in order to keep this state of being so as to make the greatest impact.

He's also enraged at some girl (homely) who burst in here (Colleen/Jess') asking for a condom (grody). I believe she was just trying to show off. I think she's going to sleep with Emi and his awful sleeves. He'd probably film it but do it really badly and in such a way as you'd not see the point of it all, which is fucking hard to do when you think it's just straight up sex for christ's sake.

Jess wants to sleep so we are leaving.

Monday, April 05, 2004


Passover, Economics and Star Trek 

Well now I return back to Kingston. I went home to Toronto for the first night of Passover where we had a very nice Seder with some family friends. They're a very talented family (music, acting, singing etc) the kind that makes you realize how little you've accomplished. Anyway, I knew their son Will from school and we looked him up on IMDB. So they have a webpage on him, but they also have a Message Board on him. And someone who sounded vaguely stalkerish was gushing about him on it. Fun!

For the rest of my stay in Toronto, I studied economics. But it's pretty hard to stay concentrated on it especially after reading several hundred pages. So they're talking about the pros and cons of deficit spending. Basically one of the main arguments against it is that borrowing today just defers future spending cuts/tax increases unto the next generation. So I started thinking about the next generation, Star Trek: The Next Generation that is. And you know what, they have it pretty sweet: Holodecks, transporters, replicators and attractive aliens. Plus, Picard is such a pretenious bastard. Enjoys literature, fine wines, archeology and he speaks in an English accent even though he's French. Asshole. I say, raise his fucking taxes!


Natural light! I'm melting! 

Fuck Daylight Savings Time. Fuck it right in the ass.

The time shift twice a year isn't worth the hassle in this day and age. I say we boycott it. Don't observe no freakin' time change. Of course, it means we'll be showing up an hour late for all classes/exams for most of the school year, but we're making a statement dammit.

The new do-up of the "Great Hall of Computing" is really nice. Nice, new flatscreen monitors and such. My wireless signal is somewhat weak but it's oddly enough gotten better. It's just too fucking bright! It's 7pm damnit! I should be falling asleep soon. FUCK OFF SUN!

Okay, I'm done.


Goin' Ape 

Just made the final cut on my film. I am going against what my prof suggested and then got the class to back. My primary reasons are that 1) she's asking me to cut my film down and I don't want it any shorter, 2) it would create inconsistency and 3) it's just mo' work. I keep wanting call my prof Lilliana (WB - UFA, Statistics?) because she looks and talks like her. Oooh. Also awesome to note is the utter collapse of SM since we pulled out. In the last entire week it's been dismal. I have this idea which would be awesome but I need some kind of catalyst I think... Alcohol or another post from Kristy would do it.

As for Atly drinking in class and listening to 'Pac, I have tears rolling from my eyes and I don't know if I'm sad, happy or just cracking up. Atly, if your ears are finally open, there's a whole world I can send to you over MSN.

Last test, I promise. BOLD not bold.


Job Interview 

Back in the first week of March I dropped off an application to work at the Trent Athletic Centre for the 2004-05 academic year. I applied to be the frontdesk receptionist or security. Today at 2pm I was woken up by a call from a woman in the Athletic office ask me to come in for an interview this wednesday. I just recertified my first aid and CPR so that will help. Wish me luck.

Ben: 597.3 :D


T _ P_ _S _ M _ _ A S _ 

Genetics hangman.

Well, the exam has come and gone, and I am FREE of that *evil* course - until next year when all of my lovely biology courses are just an extension of this one. I blame the 25-year-old gino Prof who put me to sleep every lecture. You all know me. I don't sleep in biology class. Ever. And the times I didn't fall asleep I relied on the combination of Bailey's and Tim Horton’s cafe mocha to keep me entertained. Most of the time I just didn't go. Waterloo taught me well.

Maybe if he had long hair I would have been more inclined to pay attention...

Er. No.

So for the past two days I have been studying en masse with all of the BIOL 139 crew - which happens to be a LOT of the people living in my rez. Today I *FINALLY* cracked open The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, and of course had to deal with the incredulity of my housemates when the saw I was reading during final time - and it wasn't school related . I also beat King's Quest 2 in about 2 hours (I was listening to Tupac and Iron Maiden while playing. What a combination.). The game is sheer brilliance (or was when I was 10 and beat it for the first time), although it can get on your nerves something marvelous:

Me: "Kill the lion with sword"
Game: "You can't do that now"
Me: "Kill the lion with THE sword"
Game: "I don't understand 'sword'"
Me: "Kill the lion"
Game: "You must get closer to do this"
Me: "Kill the lion"
Game: "What would you like to use to kill it?"

You get the point.

Well, I'm going to go scour the LAN for some good anime - watched Kite yesterday - MESSED up.

Next final: Thursday @ 9 am - Introduction to Plant Structure and Function. W00+.

P.S:

Dave: Interesting thought - but think of how much Coke pays for advertising! They're marketing whores! (can I say that?! =^-^=)

WB: Sweet deal. Hope you get that job. And WTF is with all the Canadian teams playing each other in the 1st round (except for Montreal)?! I'm not liking the whole Ottawa-Toronto thing - and poor Calgary - haven't made it past first round since they took the cup in '89...or something like that.

Ben: Not the wargaming! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! -- Oh, I am also Smackin' Mistress.593.


Sounds like a euphemism 

Sunday, April 04, 2004


Guhin' Ape 

Spent the day loungin' around. Adjusting to the time difference and playing FFVIII. It's the truest videogame-novel I've ever played. Sat back down to the comic. Got about 4 panels done in God knows how long. It's the doing of it that's significant. I feel awkward writing it which means you should feel awkward reading it which in this case actually works how I want it to. (Just like this post.) Okay, let's try this thing: BOLD


Leafs, Jeaorb and Super Secretness 

The hockey season has finally come to an end. The Leafs embarrassed the Senators 6-0 in the last game of the season, but Bostorn won today so the Leafs finish in forth place and will play the Senators in the first round of the playoffs. Trent is pretty equally spilt between Leafs and Sens fans so the people will be crowding around every available TV. We've all filled our selections for the playoff hockey pool.

With Sharon's encouragement I have applied to be a civilian instructor at Blackdown Cadet Training Centre during the summer. Blackdown is at CFB Borden which is about 45 minutes north of Toronto. She says it is $4800 for 7-8 weeks, plus the staff canteen has cheap beer.

Last night around 8:30 Tom, Devon, Ryan and I walked way out to the north parking lot. There are two metal "Welcome to Trent University" signs there and over the next hour we stood there in the pouring rain and removed the 8 bolts that held them to the post. We now have 2 trophies with which to decorate our house next year :D Because there was no way we could conspiculously bring them back into res we stashed them in the woods to be retrieved at a later date. We came back soaked to the bone, freezing cold, tired and covered in mud but feeling extremely proud of ourselves. That's enough super secret missions for one night.

Ben, self-pity willl get you nowhere. Don't turn into Simsars.


Epilogue. 

Improv's done, which is kind of sad. I mean, nationals have yet to go on, but I'm stuck here for exams, so I'mma not see them, so for all practical purposes, it's over.

This leaves me with a strange conundrum: do I do it again next year? I hella want to, but I never bonded with the improv crüe at nationals or camp or nothin', so it's always a bit alienating to be with a whole lot of them at once. Acourse, if I do stick around, I'll weasel my way in eventually. But it's not the same-- I missed the boat with improv camp, and I find myself lamenting my decision, Simsar style, to work like a crazyman last summer.

And when the fuck are we going to hear about fucking BC? I know you guys aren't so down with it anymore, but I'd at least like to hear something back, for fuck's sake.

I have more reasons than money for wanting to escape the city for the summer-- I am perilously close to getting back into wargaming, courtesy of Neil goddammit. I have to escape into the countryside for drugs and booze and deviant behaviour to retain my sanity, money, and dignity.


What I do instead of doing schoolwork. 

So I was thinking this morning...

Who's got more dough, do you think? Coca Cola or Microsoft?

Despite their substandard, overpriced software being sold far and wide, can Microsoft even begin to compete with a company that sells sugar and water for something like a 3000% markup.

Hmm...


Back to T-Dot 

I was briefly happy about that textbook ploy, but then deeply ashamed that it made me happy. It was an interesting textbook but it has some rather obscure descriptions. To show how one Laosian prince was a risk taker it related how in a bridge game he once, "made a three-no trump contract by discarding three aces." Uh yeah.

Well I'm heading back to Toronto in a few hours and will stay there for a few days. Hope I'll get some studying done.

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a gorilla with no superego.