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Saturday, April 29, 2006


It was bound to happen eventually 

I mean really, think about it. The iPod touchwheel is totally conducive to it, and anyway, check out the crowd what uses them. There are already electronic musicians that work off iPods... this just extends it.

Job interview today for tour company. I think I got it. It went real well.

I saw Naomi "AWOL Ape" Goodrich today. She's doin' well! Talked to her out of the blue around 4 am yesterday and she invited me over for mm-mm pie. I also made cookies for the occasion out of everything in my cupboard. They turned out quite well.

My sister brought a baby squirrel home from the park today. Well,s he said it followed her, which it might of, but why? I figure she probably played with it and it was too young to know humans = bad news. Cute lil' guy-- about 5 inches long, not including tail. I called the Toronto Wildlife Centre, but they didn't call back for two hours, and at that point, the feller had escaped the box I had him in and run off. I couldn't find him so I got ready for my job interview and unlocked my bike. As I rolled out, I saw he had got run over. I buried him in my backyard when I got home.

Friday, April 28, 2006


"This guy is on my I-Hope-They-Die list" 

"Eh?! Wha' th'fuck djou say abou'me?!"

"Well as I was telling my friend, when the Apocalypse comes I hope you are among the first to die a horrible fiery death."

"ARE YOU TRYIN' TO BE SMART WITH ME?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!"

"It means Jesus hates you"

"WHAT? JESUS? DJOU WANT ME TO HIT YOU?! CAUSE I'LL SEND YOU FLYING!"

"Well then the cops sitting in their cars across the street will come over and you can spend the rest of the night with them, while I spend the night dancing with your girlfriend"

"GAH I'M GONNA-"

(his girlfriend grabs him by the arm)

"C'mon baby, calm down. He's just joking with you"

That was before we even got inside the bar. I'm glad he took her sensible advise.

Once inside I tripped backwards over a low platform and landed awkwardly with most of my weight on my right hand. But broken bones aren't really an emergency so Kate and I waited until yeterday after noon before going to the ER. The worst part was just waiting to see the triage nurse. I don't really have any interesting hospital stories to share other than the announcement over the PA system that there was a Code Red (fire) in the basement.

Summer classes start on monday and I have to find an alternative mode of transportation to campus because I can't ride my bike and our bus pass doesn't carry over to the summer. I might have to buy a discounted monthly pass from my landlord.

You might have heard that the Tory government decided not to allow members of the media to be present when the remains of 4 Cnadian soldiers returned from Afghanistan. The Conservatives have also reversed the decision of the Liberal government to lower the flag on the peace tower to honour dead soldiers. I am concerned that these desicions are the early steps towards policy more in line with the Bush ad,inistration which notoriously refused any media coverage of returning American dead and injured. Seven Soldiers have been killed since the beginning of March 2006. That toll is equal to the number killed in the previous 4 years of Canadian operations in Afghanistan.


MY Science 

I'm a pro when it comes to getting on buses or planning routes or spying on people. Sports and romance I don't get.

I rolled my right ankle playing basketball and losing to the b'y (who I tutor). So I'm sort of hobbly now.

I got a haircut, cleaned my room. Everything was supposed to be butter.

And I've got only 11 days before I have to get my scrips in to apply for my programs next year. After 3 days of screenings I'm so sick of most film people and I'm also mr. bitterness, because many of the films were quite good.

Sam is right, Mr. Show is hilarious. I laughed to tears like 3 times. Neil is right, Arrested Development is great. The teevee world has changed thanks to DVD and is making shows that require continuous commitment. And increased quality.

We got a new washing machine today! A fancy side-loader, the whole nine! My mother says she's "terrorized" by it!

Thursday, April 27, 2006


I'm Done Exams! 

Does Ape look weird for anyone else? Like the formatting's all crazy and the text is big.

Oh and Jesus Fucking Christ the next President of the United States. He makes Bush look like this.

Back in Toronto on Sunday.

Edit: Here's my first Podcast (The jPod?) All the fun of a rambling phone message from me but with music (No Children by The Mountain Goats).

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Thank Gawd for the inter wub 

Imperial Stormtroopers + COPS = TROOPS

Internet (conspiracy theory + 911) = Loose Change documentary

Sunday, April 23, 2006


Update From the World of Sam 

Oh, how sweet it is!

Ask me how I did on my last exam. C'mon, ask me!

Man, I kicked that history exams ass so hard it's afraid to go outside! I slammed that exam against its locker, took the $7.56 it brought to buy lunch and shoved it into the girls washroom! I murdered that exam and fed its carcass to its children! In short, I aced it.

Also, in history related news, I am now an official expert on Mau Mau, having gotten an "A" on my term paper. And thus ends my scholastic term!

In other news, my series of dreams about comedians dying (I'd link to previous posts, but I've had a long day and have a couple of beers in me right now) continues, this time with John Ennis, the fat guy from Mr. Show, whom I mistankenly thought in the dream to be Tom Kenny. In this, he had a horrible disease rotting him from the inside out and wanted me to perform a mercy killing on him by hitting him in the face with a sledge. In the end, I relented and gave in to his demands and the dream ended. After the Gilbert Gottfried dream some time ago, and the more recent one in which I give Stephen Colbert's eulogy, this is gettting a little strange.

Short tidbits:
Item! I saw Larissa Koniuk today. She is very pretty.

Item! Chris, the cook at my job and a member of the artistic group Team Macho is having a show at the Magic Pony gallery on thursday. Be there or be square, and tell all your friends.

Now, to sleep 'til 3 PM. The sleep of the just (hopefully without any dying comedians)

P.S. Improv tommorow? Yes/no?

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a gorilla with no superego.