03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004  
04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004  
04/11/2004 - 04/18/2004  
04/18/2004 - 04/25/2004  
04/25/2004 - 05/02/2004  
05/02/2004 - 05/09/2004  
05/09/2004 - 05/16/2004  
05/16/2004 - 05/23/2004  
05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004  
05/30/2004 - 06/06/2004  
06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004  
06/13/2004 - 06/20/2004  
06/20/2004 - 06/27/2004  
06/27/2004 - 07/04/2004  
07/04/2004 - 07/11/2004  
07/11/2004 - 07/18/2004  
07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004  
07/25/2004 - 08/01/2004  
08/01/2004 - 08/08/2004  
08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004  
08/15/2004 - 08/22/2004  
08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004  
08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004  
09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004  
09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004  
09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004  
09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004  
10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004  
10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004  
10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004  
10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004  
10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004  
11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004  
11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004  
11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004  
11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004  
12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004  
12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004  
12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004  
12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005  
01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005  
01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005  
01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005  
01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005  
01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005  
02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005  
02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005  
02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005  
02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005  
03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005  
03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005  
03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005  
03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005  
04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005  
04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005  
04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005  
04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005  
05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005  
05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005  
05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005  
05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005  
05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005  
06/05/2005 - 06/12/2005  
06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005  
06/19/2005 - 06/26/2005  
06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005  
07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005  
07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005  
07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005  
07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005  
07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005  
08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005  
08/14/2005 - 08/21/2005  
08/21/2005 - 08/28/2005  
08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005  
09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005  
09/11/2005 - 09/18/2005  
09/18/2005 - 09/25/2005  
09/25/2005 - 10/02/2005  
10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005  
10/09/2005 - 10/16/2005  
10/16/2005 - 10/23/2005  
10/23/2005 - 10/30/2005  
10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005  
11/06/2005 - 11/13/2005  
11/13/2005 - 11/20/2005  
11/20/2005 - 11/27/2005  
11/27/2005 - 12/04/2005  
12/04/2005 - 12/11/2005  
12/11/2005 - 12/18/2005  
12/18/2005 - 12/25/2005  
12/25/2005 - 01/01/2006  
01/01/2006 - 01/08/2006  
01/08/2006 - 01/15/2006  
01/15/2006 - 01/22/2006  
01/22/2006 - 01/29/2006  
01/29/2006 - 02/05/2006  
02/05/2006 - 02/12/2006  
02/12/2006 - 02/19/2006  
02/19/2006 - 02/26/2006  
02/26/2006 - 03/05/2006  
03/05/2006 - 03/12/2006  
03/12/2006 - 03/19/2006  
03/19/2006 - 03/26/2006  
03/26/2006 - 04/02/2006  
04/02/2006 - 04/09/2006  
04/09/2006 - 04/16/2006  
04/16/2006 - 04/23/2006  
04/23/2006 - 04/30/2006  
04/30/2006 - 05/07/2006  
05/07/2006 - 05/14/2006  
05/14/2006 - 05/21/2006  
05/21/2006 - 05/28/2006  
05/28/2006 - 06/04/2006  
06/04/2006 - 06/11/2006  
06/11/2006 - 06/18/2006  
06/18/2006 - 06/25/2006  
06/25/2006 - 07/02/2006  
07/02/2006 - 07/09/2006  
07/09/2006 - 07/16/2006  
07/16/2006 - 07/23/2006  
07/23/2006 - 07/30/2006  
07/30/2006 - 08/06/2006  
08/06/2006 - 08/13/2006  
08/13/2006 - 08/20/2006  
08/20/2006 - 08/27/2006  
08/27/2006 - 09/03/2006  
09/03/2006 - 09/10/2006  
09/10/2006 - 09/17/2006  
09/17/2006 - 09/24/2006  
09/24/2006 - 10/01/2006  
10/01/2006 - 10/08/2006  
10/08/2006 - 10/15/2006  
10/15/2006 - 10/22/2006  
10/22/2006 - 10/29/2006  
10/29/2006 - 11/05/2006  
11/05/2006 - 11/12/2006  
11/12/2006 - 11/19/2006  
11/19/2006 - 11/26/2006  
11/26/2006 - 12/03/2006  
12/03/2006 - 12/10/2006  
12/10/2006 - 12/17/2006  
12/17/2006 - 12/24/2006  
12/24/2006 - 12/31/2006  
12/31/2006 - 01/07/2007  
01/07/2007 - 01/14/2007  
01/14/2007 - 01/21/2007  
01/21/2007 - 01/28/2007  
01/28/2007 - 02/04/2007  
02/04/2007 - 02/11/2007  
02/11/2007 - 02/18/2007  
02/18/2007 - 02/25/2007  
02/25/2007 - 03/04/2007  
03/11/2007 - 03/18/2007  
03/18/2007 - 03/25/2007  
04/08/2007 - 04/15/2007  
04/15/2007 - 04/22/2007  
04/22/2007 - 04/29/2007  
04/29/2007 - 05/06/2007  
05/06/2007 - 05/13/2007  
05/13/2007 - 05/20/2007  
05/27/2007 - 06/03/2007  
06/10/2007 - 06/17/2007  
06/17/2007 - 06/24/2007  
06/24/2007 - 07/01/2007  
07/01/2007 - 07/08/2007  
07/15/2007 - 07/22/2007  
09/02/2007 - 09/09/2007  
09/16/2007 - 09/23/2007  
10/07/2007 - 10/14/2007  
10/21/2007 - 10/28/2007  
11/18/2007 - 11/25/2007  
11/25/2007 - 12/02/2007  
12/02/2007 - 12/09/2007  
12/09/2007 - 12/16/2007  
12/16/2007 - 12/23/2007  
12/23/2007 - 12/30/2007  
12/30/2007 - 01/06/2008  
01/06/2008 - 01/13/2008  
01/13/2008 - 01/20/2008  
01/20/2008 - 01/27/2008  
01/27/2008 - 02/03/2008  
02/03/2008 - 02/10/2008  
02/17/2008 - 02/24/2008  
02/24/2008 - 03/02/2008  
03/02/2008 - 03/09/2008  
03/09/2008 - 03/16/2008  
03/23/2008 - 03/30/2008  
03/30/2008 - 04/06/2008  
04/06/2008 - 04/13/2008  
04/20/2008 - 04/27/2008  
04/27/2008 - 05/04/2008  
05/11/2008 - 05/18/2008  
05/18/2008 - 05/25/2008  
06/01/2008 - 06/08/2008  
06/08/2008 - 06/15/2008  
06/15/2008 - 06/22/2008  
06/22/2008 - 06/29/2008  
06/29/2008 - 07/06/2008  
07/20/2008 - 07/27/2008  

Saturday, March 05, 2005


Heya everybody.

Today was a shooting day out in Brampton. Cameras and stuff. I'm the editor on this project so I sort of don't -need- to be at the shoots, but hey, you really should know what's being shot on your own project. Tomorrow it's up to Innisfil near Barrie for some filming in a SpOoKy HoUsE.

I felt sort of sick this morning, then I was fine all day and then it came back to me around 4:30 when the shooting was through. Obviously this can be attributed to only one source:

I looked at the archives on the side of the page and saw that Goin' Ape began on 3/28 of 2004. That means that this March 28th will be the one year anniversary of Goin' Ape. We should have some kind of party.

Theory of Relativity => Genocide. Of course! 

John McCarthy, professor of Stanford and one of the godfathers of artificial intelligence, wrote a few years ago a Letter to Christian Physicists. It's pretty great. Einstein caused the Holocaust! In retrospect, it's so obvious. Silly Einstein.

P.S.: Click the link at the bottom when you're done.

Joy (not sarcastic this time) 

Well I got the essay in. Luckily my thursday schedule ends at 1:30, so I could spend the rest of the day on it. On friday the prof said he wouldn't take off late marks. One advantage to that class which I swear is getting crazier by the day (Yesterday he was telling us how aliens build a wall across Saturn's moon Iapetus). It's the only class which requires attendence [!] and I've been amusing myself by writing down funny nicknames for myself (e.g. "Thunderbird"). I'm running out of nicknames though, any ideas.

Oh and this is very cool. Type in any first name and see how popular it was over the last hundred years (Jacob is first now, ich).

Cabin fever de luxe 

I have not been out of this house since Monday.

It is driving me more than crazy.

I have an immeasurable craving for chicken wings, beer, etc.

I miss my girlfriend immensely.

Send help. And more Fisherman's Friend®. Apple/Cinnamon flavour please.

Latenight movies: Bride of Chucky rocked. I need to remember to rent Leprechaun IV: Leprechaun in Space and Leprechaun In Da Hood again.

But seriously, about the help & FF. Apple/Cinnamon.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Bye Bye Water-woo 

UoT application deadline: march 1st.

UoT acceptance received: march 3rd.

Yeah, Bob called me with the 411 yesterday, bursting with pride - I was in. And had tons of paperwork to do. So Benk, it's on you to get your ass to St. George.

So, starting this fall, At is going to be ripping up UoT...or being ripped up by it. Oh calculus. After 2 years...can I really go back to it?

***Oh highschool Ashley, where art thou?***

Okay, enough cheese. Uhhh...I picked up a new watch last time I was in the T.Dot. It's a black version of the massive white one I had before. One of the lab techs commented on it, saying it reminded her of someone who "tortures people". She then asked if I "tortured Michael" - who is part of the crew. And then I said "only when he's being naughty" to which she responded with "and he is - all the time. I think he needs some discipline". Poor red-faced Michael.

Maybe this would be funnier to you all if you realized that she's just a little naive Asian woman.

Guitar Wolf 

So I came in to Toronto last night so I could see Guitar Wolf. It was awesome.
Also I'm in town till sunday.

Coughin' coughin' there's no stoppin' 

So, while fending off this nasty cough/cold (THANKS A LOT NEIL), I've nonetheless had to slave over my laptop doing nothing more trivial than WRITING A GODDAMNED OPERATING SYSTEM. Taking a grace day on it to wrap up our design document. This is Computer Science, I'm not supposed to be WRITING anything.

Unable to sleep, I watched this gem on TV. I'm normally liking teh B-movies but this was just so incredibly terrible.

Also I wish I had this time machine.

Thursday, March 03, 2005


So I sit down in class yesterday and my neighbour, Alison, turns to me.
Her: You get your essay done?
Me: Oh Alison, you're so funny.
Her: No seriously, did you get your essay done?
Me: It takes a little more than that to fool me.
Her: Look there's a pile of essay on the desk.
Me: C'mon. I know those are the essay's he said he'd hand back today.
[Guy runs in late, heads to front of the class and throws essay down on pile]
Me: Oh shit.

Yes, despite the course outline saying the essay was due March 18, it was evidentally due yesterday. So that's what I'm spending today on.

PS- This at least, was funny
PPS– I have changed the background of my cell phone from saying "TELUS" to "GOIN' APE".

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


This man is my arch-rival. His name? Sam Linton. The scottish, soccer playing version of me who appears in google image searches. The dastard!

Also, this is a good peice of comicry I found whilst engaging in web-browsery. Worth a look, fer sher.

Finally, here's some more stuff for the Sin City movie. I said it looked good then, I say it looks good now.

And that's time.

The end of an era 

Beatallica's website got shut down. For those of you who never had the pleasure, these guys did beatles songs in Metallica-esque style, merging the lyrics for hits like "Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band", "The Thing That Should Not Let It Be", and "Everyone's Got a Ticket To Ride Except Me And My Lightning". Yet another case of a corporation destroying a beautiful thing.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


I got out of writing a midterm today. All I had to do was cough up enough green phlegm to feed a small army! ...of phlegm-eating goblins. ...Shut up.

Anyway, the UofT health services, the sign that says "No more walk-in visits today" is bullshit. I got seen, by a doctor, in 20 minutes. Now I just have two huge assignments por relax.

I'm incoherent, but that should surprise nobody. Yes, nobody, my old nemesis...

Card Shark 

So last night I went to the Mondo party, which was fun. Drank a bit, talked with people about hipster style & metal bands, etc. But the REAL story is what happened before that...

I met Leo around 5:30, so we had alot of time to kill. Leo tells me that some guys he knows from film are gonna play poker, and asks if I'm in. Remembering good times in the P. dot, I say yes. It's texas holdum, $5 to play. A bit rich for my blood, but I'm in already, so what the hell. Anyways, the luck is with me in force! I take so many plays on the river that even I start to think I must be cheating! Anyways, long story short I'm up $41! Only in Canada!

Step to the right. 

Now here's the deal, my dollars spill
throughout the mall, my eyeballs fall
I see this vision, I switch the mission
But scared of dissin', I change my condition
And keep on walkin', though she's hawkin'
I should be talkin', no I can't kill my rep
Yo she slept, and I just crept
Right on by, cause man I'm fly
Straight hardcore, through the door
Cause I'm much more, than Mr. Smooth Talker
That's for the pigeons, cause that's how I'm livin'
And I should be swimmin', in all the lovely women
But man I'm not, I wonder why
Is it because I'm too hard and too fly?
Hmm.. could be, nah forget it
There's just no woman out there to get widdit
Get to my car, remove my glock
It looks like tonight's another Blockbuster stop
Bust a couple of movies, sit back and wonder
Yo I think that chick woulda given me her number
Oh well, it's too late now
I hit the lightswitch [snoring sounds]

If you step to the right, I step to the left
I'm too stupid, to tell you that you're def

Monday, February 28, 2005

Sick as fuck but still alive & kicking 

So yeah. All weekend I've been fighting off a mondo virus. I wrote a midterm this morning, came home right afterward and crashed/burned.

Wanted to direct yo attention to this little piece. Linda McQuaig is one excellent journalist; she took on Mulroney years ago and had him making threats on her job, "you'll never work again" etc. Obviously it didn't pan out, and thank god; "It's only rape if you resist". Well said.

Midget Tossing, a new Olympic event and I win the gold 

FUCK. Been feelin pretty shitty the past couple weeks. Maybe it's just the winter blahs. I hope so. Running low on money. Eating poorly. Discouraged academically. Romantically forlorn. Blarg. I need the summer to come faster.

I sent in my cover letter and resume to Killbear also received my package of paperwork for cadet camp, I said on my original application that HMCS Ontario (@ the Royal Military College in Kingston) was my first choice but I'm beginning to change my mind towards the Whitehorse Army Cadet Centre.

On Friday I was supposed to be returning to Ptbo with Kimi and her parents, but before I did that I had some stitches to have removed. After finding the closest walk in clinic down at the First Canadian Place and then sitting in a crowded noisy waiting room for 45 minutes I was seen by a nurse. She had to carefully remove the stitches without tearing the scab off and re-opening the wound. It hurt.

Nurse: How'd this happen?
Me: I got punched.
Nurse: Did you punch him back?
Me: No, that wouldn't have solved anything.
Nurse: Maybe not, but it may have made you feel better.
Me: Yeah. Yeah it probably would have. Thanks for the advice.

This weekend was the Rideau Flotilla competitions for the sea cadets, which were being held at the Trenton Air Base, less than 30 min west of Belleville. Starting Friday night I could tell this would be a crappy weekend. Only one commissioned officer showed up in addition to Kimi and I, then the bus showed up 45 minutes late but it was bus that didn't have the storage capacity for all our kit. We had to drive to the bus depot at the edge of town to switch buses. I spent much of my weekend badgering at kids to behave or being bombarded with moronic questions by the same whiney kids. Because it was a poorly planned event there was a lot of sitting around doing nothing which meant I had to supervise, which actually meant I got to read my book Shake Hands With the Devil.

On Saturday night we had to chaperone the dance for the 400 cadets. Fucking dances. The 45 year old 'DJ' was a bloody knob who play only a half dozen songs that were less than 6 years old. It sounded like a dance from my middle school dazes with all the Barbie Girl, I Get Knocked Down etc. He definitely played a couple songs off of Jock Jams '94 or '95. Uberlame. The dance was infested with kids from Peterborough, Napanee, Bancroft, Bobcaygeon, Coboconk and Kinmount (need I say more?), most of whom lacked any kind of personal style. Kimi and I sat on the stage and took joy in watching Nelson, one of our most social retarded cadets ("I have seven sisters and four brothers. My dad's been remarried four times. We's was home schooled") get viciously rebuked by every girl in our corps. There was a black light above where the most popular girls were sitting and when Nelson stepped into this light great big stains became visible on his shirt, which the girls couldn't help but notice. It didn't help that he had a mad case of the fruit basket going on in his pants.
I was getting pissed off at a midget boy (at max he was 3' 10", not quite to my belly button) with a bandana sticking out of his back pocket who would grind up against a girl for about 15 seconds (he was at the right height where his eyes were at boob level) then he would dash over to a taller cadet where he seemed to report his findings. He kept eyeing me in a sly manner as if daring me to act. Once I had enough of his shenanigans so I strode towards him, when he saw me coming he ran towards his taller protector and wedged himself between the taller one and the girl he was dancing with at the time. The taller one hugged the midget and said "please sir he's with me" to which I replied "Enough of this shit" I grabbed the midget by the shoulders and lifted him squealing in protest like an ugly piglet out from between his protector and the surprised looking girl. I carried him 10 feet to the stage where I unceremoniously dropped him and said "Look midget, you are on time out. That means you don't move until I say you can". I marched back to Kimi and sat down again. His friends all gathered around him in a tizzy casting glances at me that ranged from fearful to horror stricken. One of them disappeared to the other end of the room where I knew the rest of the officers were. A couple minutes later Tyler our only officer on the trip comes over to me and tells me a cadet complained to her officer about me manhandling the shrimp and now that officer was in a huff, so Tyler asked me to stick out my hand, he gave me a slap on the wrist and walked away.

The shittyness of this weekend was moderated by the fun that Kimi, Tyler and I had making fun of our cadets (especially the drill team commander who we thought needed to be informed that he was a very unconvincing straight guy).

I needed to rant. I am better now.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Gwendolyn and Renny 


I seen him put in 24 hour work days for deferred pay,
undeterred by the worst shame,
Public humiliation was the worst pain,
He was spinning out of control like a class 5 hurricane,
He said he never wanted another MC to suffer the same,
Especially when there's nothing to gain.

- Who else but the Canibus man?

Well, it's been a 11.5 hr day at Yerk, synchin' up the sound and picture for Gwendolyn and Rufus. Another big batch more work tomorrow. I went from keen 'n' bright, down to haggard by 4. Then I had a dinner at 7 at the FILAFEL HUT VILLAGE. Man, how could have been so long since I ate thurrr? Seriously, so good, like in a commercial, it brought me back to life. Also, I was doing some Jumbles just to keep my sanity in check. (Thanks agin, Sam) I got through 4 today. Then I was feelin' pretty good 'bout my accomplishments on Gwen and Rufus when i went home at 10:20 and I got on the 106 bus. and it filled up with fun groups of partying friends. [My god! Such hot girls! WTF? They were all on this bus!] I was too smbarassed to play jumble in front of them so I just listened to PE. (Thanks agin, Sam) All drunk, many were actually drinking on the bus. (C'mon girls, no one drinks orange juice out of a spring water bottle). All going out for their big parties of Saturday night. Reminded me of what a better time I could be having. But still, getting to see gwen and rufus come together = good.


I will watch it every day for EVER. 

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a gorilla with no superego.