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Saturday, August 21, 2004

It's finally fucking happened. 

There's now going to be a Starbucks in my area. St. Clair West and Christie, where the old TD Bank was, is now going to be half H&R Block, and half Starbucks.

It's not that they make bad coffee. Once upon a time I drank it. It's the fact that there already enough fucking coffee shops for all the affluent floozies to get their lattés from. No doubt they'll open two more in close proximity which will be nowhere near viable, just to crush the local competition.

Of course trying to organize a boycott is utterly useless, since even the supposedly counter-culture types yelling "fuck authority" at the top of their lungs go to the same over-priced bean whore at the end of the day (I can't count the number of times I've seen some goth/punk/hip hop homeboy etc. carrying a frappucino or other assorted nonsense). Beats the heck out of me why.

total chachka, hello? hitchhiking is tuff luff incentive to finding a REAL drive up there. It also means, "I don't have all the answers." 

Don't get me wrong; I think you're all nice guys. Fun and stuff. I just don't think it was fair how everything to do with the trip was left up to me. I felt insulted when Neil suggested we all cram into Laura's van. It's like you didn't even listen to me when I told you the first time that we could only bring one other person in her van. If what you guys want is for me to rehash it all in my defense, it's written right there in that little sermon for you to read a second time. It truly saddens me to hear that you've given up on making plans with your friends because it's not convenient or easy. Maybe it's just cause I'm an outsider to this group, but I still have hope for many more successful camping trips in the future.

And things worked out really well on our end, by the way. I swear to J.R. Booth himself that nothing was overlooked. I'd say we were over-prepared... judging by the feasting we had to do on the ride back... ("eat the turrrrrdd!! there's only one left!!! you are what you eat!")

We ended up bringing Meyers along, which worked out quite nicely. He got fawned over by my two DiVAS who painted him in tribal war designs (including tribal hair gel, aka clay), and he found a blue gardening clog in a clay pit, which will sit next to my door until the day I find its mate. I made a little shrunken head out of clay and put it on a pike (henceforth known as smacky) for Meyers to carry back to the site, and this little kid called him freaky (Meyers, not smacky). Miranda cracked the code of what animal Meyers reminds her of: a bear ("da bear-s"). We broke the Olympic and world records for awesome ghost gum production and devourment (Laura's record was only five; we made it to 20, disgustingly enough), and scared a few kids at the same time. I think Meyers was foaming at the mouth at one point... We (laur, mir and i) built a little village of crusty berry dust people who thrived on krystal, fashionable shell-hats, pine-cone condos, and was politically divided by the wall of ill repute. It was a bit cold for swimming, but that was quickly fixed by a few people standing strategically upstream. I discovered what -real- Caucasians eat, and maintained my Parsi dignity by not putting ketchup in my mac n' cheese with veggie dogs. Of course, no camping trip would be complete without a fire, even if it -did- suck when it first started, as Mir put it best. Eventually though, it did rock and kinda burned us a little too well... Surprisingly, there were no mosquitos, except the one in the entire park that bit me on the ankle, and no earwigs, except the baby one I shooed off the tent when we were packing up. Also, I didn't see any eastern massasauga (sic) rattlesnakes. Laura's driving was truly superb (even if she -did- use cruise control like.. half the time), and amazingly Ben broke the most car rules of us all. He got told off.. more than once.. hehehe...

So anyways, now that I'm all showered and I smell like me again, I'm going downtown with Mir to get back into city mode. We'll go down to evil Starbucks and laugh at stupid life. With our luck, we'll run into an eastern massasauga rattlesnake and have to wrangle it. cool.

Friday, August 20, 2004

The universe is back to normal. 

Good news, well for me anyways, I finally got a new pair of aviators. This makes me imensley happy. They aren't quite as nice as my old ones, but they will do. Also, it means I'll be able to use my bus pass when I go back to Peterborough. ACK! Thats in 10 days!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

So people just shouldn't be allowed to have children 

So today because I had nothing to do I began going through my sister's UFA yearbook for 2003-2004. I feel it is my duty to inform everyone that UFA now has a Wiccan Circle with about a dozen members. There was not one mention or any pictures of last years Big Idea (filthy exclusionary buggers). I was however in the picture from last years baseball team. Only Ashley and Benji were present in any pictures from the prom.

Watching olympic swimming loses its appeal after about 15 minutes.

Happy Birthday, Geekdom! 

Yes, I'm fully aware that everybody has already seen the works of Jack Chick and this therefore won't be new to anybody, but in honour of the 30th aniversary of Dungeons & Dragons, I believe that this story is especially relevant.

Well, now that that's outta the way, I gots more t'say. Since it seems apparent that a good half of us willn't be able t'go up north (which is quite a shame), is there anything else we wanna do this week-end?

Happy times at Ape Central, and a third party take on this mess. 

I'm sort of glad I didn't get involved in this ill-fated camping trip. Though it's sad it didn't pan out, after all that planning, I think we'd all do better to just try and move on.

I'd rather not take sides, but while the coordination really did seem to lack, I'll agree with Neil that the last post on Shirin's part was a little over the top. Furthermore, two things:
  • There was concern about safety when hitchhiking was suggested as an alternative?
  • The other alternative, bussing it up, was put forth with nothing more than a maybe on the ride from Parry Sound. That's real incentive.
While the others couldn't find any drivers/cars, perhaps it wasn't such a hot idea to have a new G2'er with road confidence issues (no offense to her) doing the chauffeuring, for a variety of reasons. Alas, nobody involved has a full license (to my knowledge) so the whole idea was sort of doomed from the start, given the insane rates for bus fare.

Hopefully this will serve as warning for people who try to do things that require planning in the future. And please, people, let's keep the gnashing of teeth off the 'Ape.

The Return! 

Well my internet's back. It took a failed delivery, Canada Post loosing it, a failed puralator delivery, sending it to the wrong house, a drive up to Kipling to pick one up, an incomplete modem and finally prayer to fix it (and hours and hours of tech support to fix it).

So now I have the internet, that's the good news.

The bad news is that I come back to ape and tempers are swirlin' (I blame the lack of pictures... damn you blogspot damn you!)

From where I'm standing it looks like the trip has been effectively nuked for the male half of us (well Matt's going, but Maddy's not so we'll trade and call it even).

I hope that you vangoers have a great time. Say hi to Ben and Leo for me.

This the end 

well, I'm out, no camping for Neil, also Maddy isn't going either. So yeah, I'm going to cancel that campsite tomorow, you'll all owe me a buck. I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, and I understand that everyone is frusturated, I know I sure am. It sucks hard core. But not complain too much, but Shirin, that rant was a bit overly accusatory and preachy. Though now I seem like an ass. Whatever I'm tired, dissiapointed and upset, and I blew up my washing machine this morning. Again.

night all

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Comparatively Sane 

Hey, Leo's still alive.

Here's a link for everyone feelin' a little crazy.

Feelin' sane? I know I am!

oh guys. you're making me swear here. 

Thank you, Leo. I would hug you, but I'm not exactly in a huggy mood.

Look guys, I've told you before: I will -not- put Laura in a situation where she is not comfortable, AND where our lives are at risk. She has earned her parents' trust to take the van, and I want to make sure she can do it anytime, not just for me. She's already iffy with this newcomer, Matt; she was questioning me all day today about whether or not he knows the car rules, whether or not he knows that she may pull over at any time that she sees fit and tell him to get outta here if need be.

Now I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ditching you all at the last minute, but for shit's sake, give me a fucking break. I can't be expected to do every single god damn fucking thing for you, now can I? I'm one damn person. I'm not Ben and Leo. And I am not your mother. Please. I told you all before; search for a second ride because we are -not- loading Laura's van up anymore. I already interrogated Meyers about getting his parents to rent a van for us, and their answer is still no for their own reasons. We can take extra luggage in Laura's van because luggage does not scream, laugh, or make any sudden movements. It also does not talk, laugh, emote, or breath. Surprisingly enough, Miranda and I can turn our selves off for amazingly long periods of time and just vegetate to whatever music Laura wants, which is something Laura can trust and is sure to provide her with the sort of environment she is confident she can drive SAFELY in.

I don't want to put her in a situation where she may fear for OUR lives. She's a really nice girl, and I for one appreciate her safety concerns, as extreme as they may seem. I'm sure she'll relax and become more adaptable with a little more time and experience, as will Meyers and you guys too if you decide a driver's license just might come in handy someday.

You also have the option of busing it up to Parry Sound, but I remind you again, the fare will not be split between all nine people. I told my mum about how I had suggested to split the entire transportation costs between all 9 people, and she didn't think it was a good idea at all. It just makes the entire trip cost too high to be worth it for 9 people, and my mum's argument was that the cost of gas and the cost of a bus ride are too different to be put all into one cost. She thought it was unfair to the people getting the ride and the driver herself. If you decide to bus it up to Parry Sound, you will have to pay for the $37.98 bus fare yourself. And since Parry Sound is NOT Killbear, be sure to tell me that you're taking the bus and what time you'll be arriving so that we can head to the Parry Sound bus stop and at least pick you up from there. I have not proprosed this idea to Laura however, so I can't assure you that you will all go from Parry Sound to Killbear in one ride, although it IS a shorter distance from Parry Sound to Killbear than from Toronto to Killbear. I also can't assure you she'll agree to making two trips to the bus stop, although Laura shouldn't be unreasonable if there is some assistance with the paying of gas.

Look, if it comes down to it, you can get a refund off the campsite if you cancel the reservation before 2pm, but you still have to pay the 9 dollar refund fee. So we all pay a dollar to Killbear and Neil's mom gets her money back.

Personally, I'd like to see you all up at Killbear this weekend, but I'm not putting lives and parental trust and safe driving at risk. You've had plenty of time to ask your parents, cousins, siblings, friends with licenses, aunts and uncles if they'd like to come along, and only -now- have you gotten passionate about it. I'm really disappointed it's turning out like this, but I can only hope that you learn from this for next time (whenever the hell that may be), or get your/some shit together really fucking soon.

I tried my best, now I'd like to see a little effort from you.

Fellas, hmm. 

If you do hitchhike, do it from Barrie. You can GoBus to Barrie for relatively cheap and then you're about 1/2 way to Killbear.

10 people in a minivan with all of their stuff does not sound all too practical unless you guys are really ready to rough it. That would be, like, maybe a sleeping bag, change of socks and undies and one cooler between e'ybody. Every grocery not in the one cooler and beer you'd buy after you got up here on a seperate mission.

But, fer the luvva god, if you can possibly remotely, at all, get a second vehicle....

On a positive note, once you guys do manage to make it up here, and you all will, you'll get to see Ben and I dressed up as a francophone lumberjack and an alcoholic railway worker, respectoively duting our spirit night on the 19th..

PS Ben informs me that the driver of the one minivan is a new G2'er is alreaqdy uncomfortable with the idea of transporting 7 pople, let alone 10.


I'll Help! 


If necessary, I'll pack myself in a bag and sleep in the trunk so we can all go in said same van.

A stroke of genius! 

So I think I might have a solution. Quite simply, we have one van already yes? A minivan holds 7 people comfortably. Who needs comfort? We can fit 3 people in the middle seat and 4 in the back seat, the we're all in the van. And as for space for all our luggage? We pack light, and maybe even if Meyers parents won't let us have their van they will let us have their extra storage van top unit! I mean we used it last year, why not this year?

I think this should work, at least better than hitchhiking.


sorry for posting twice

Monday, August 16, 2004

This isn't good 

Well, SHIT. So we don't have a ride, could Meyers parents rent us a car? That's pretty much the only option I can see here, unless, Sam your parents have a van, can they drive us or lend it to us? Otherwise we're just not going methinks. Hitchhiking is a really stupid idea i gotta say, especially since we'll be carrying stuff, and also we'd probably want to start it on tuesday to make sure we were there by thursday. Matt do you want to be hitchiking on your birthday?

Anyways, it looks like we're boned.

Sunday, August 15, 2004


Ok, so it's this Thursday.

I've done some calculating with Meyers, and I say that 55.11$ for the site and bus fares is TOO MUCH for nine people each to pay. So, with the help of my mom I've decided that hitch hiking IS an option, just be sure to do it in the buddy system (at least two people per ride). I already see that some of you are open to it (Matt, Meyers), so all the power to ya. I suggest you team up and write some kind of Parry Sound sign BEFORE hitting the open road. Also, on cardboard. Easier to see.

Situation with Matt's parents driving some people up there: I don't want to make them do that much driving. If you do, then by all means, ask Matt. But I would feel guilty making them do that because 1, they're not even camping with us because they're leaving for somewhere else the next day, 2, they'd have to drive home right after dropping you guys off anyway, 3, they wouldn't even be getting to spend any time with their son if he's being driven in the babe mobile. UNLESS, someone who can be trusted to remain on their best behaviour for the whole drive up and back is willing to switch with Matt. I need this sort of agreement on paper. Signed with blood.

Another possible solution is bringing a cousin who can drive, an older sibling with one of their friends (they don't even have to hang out with us, just drive us and do their own thing when we get up there), another friend who can drive, WHOEVER. It really does not matter right now. We have 3 extra spaces on our sites, so get busy and find someone. Beggars cannot be choosers at this point. Remember that if you can't find anyone, the only solution left is hitch hiking.

Yes, you heard me. Busing it is OUT, unless you choose to pay for it yourself. It's too expensive. 37.98$ is the student rate offered by Greyhound and Ontario Northland (www.webusit.com) for ONE WAY. Greyhound isn't offering discounts on our particular trip.

I'm sorry. Blame me if you like, but know that I already have. Call me mean, but this is tuff luff.

Those are your options.

Oh, and of course you can drop out of the trip, but I expect there would be some help in paying the cancellation fee of the site if it comes to that.

The choice is yours; let the Battle Royal begin.

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a gorilla with no superego.