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Friday, March 11, 2005


Ben vs. The Underworld 

Twice today, in my store, was I asked if I wanted to purchase illicit things. The first was stolen clothing ("You just make the order, and we'll pick it up!") and the second, substances ("I swear, if you're not happy, bring it back!" I have never encountered this policy upheld by a dealer before. Maybe I should try it. He gave me his card.) I'm not sure whether this is because of how I look or what.

I am basically fucked, I think. It will be very difficult, to say the least, for my to do all the homework I need to do in the time I have to do it. This is entirely my own doing; I have been out a lot, and doing homework none. Saw the French Kicks last night with Saka, good show and hot company. According to Connia I am definitely her (Saka's) good graces. Also she thinks I'm pretty hot. As far as I'm concerned, at this point, this whole thing is a victory for me. Whether I get the girl in the end or not is a bonus. A hot-ass bonus. Wish me luck, boys and girls.


Darmok and Jelaad, at Tenagra. 

Anyone remotely acquainted with Star Trek: TNG should enjoy the Picard Song. There are FOUR LIGHTS!


The Stuff of revolutions 

Wednseday night as always I was at cadets. Because there were no classes for me to teach this week I was in the office doing administrative work, all of a sudden our most junior officer comes waddling into the office sits down all wet-eyed, sniffly and staring at her shoes. This was the same woman who had given lip to every senior officer at the flotilla competition two weeks ago. I knew that our commanding officer was to have a chat with her to basically tell her in she was unwelcome. I sat there working at the computer trying my damned hardest not to burst out laughing at the blubbering, immature women accross the office from me.

Once the kiddies had vacated the three other officers and I retreated to our mess and a beer. A conversation that started about the hardships of being an elementary school teacher moved to the lack of personal responsibility in today's society, the failings of the capitalist liberal democracy, the evils of unions, and poison that is consumerism. It was a great discussion between the four of us and the bartender, Leslie, which lasted about 2.5 hrs.

I'm in T.O. saturday visiting the arms and armout display at the R.O.M. with my medieval warfare class. I'm staying the night at home.


Motivational/evangelical spam 

Ben's apparently not the only one who gets this stuff.

I almost thought this was someone trying to reach me, until the image loaded trying to sell me Xanax.

A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian... and most of all, his family ought to know.
We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred.
Between friends differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality. It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.

If a fellow wants to be a nobody in the business world, let him neglect sending the mail man to somebody on his behalf.
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

When in doubt, ask. When not in doubt, ask.

No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the ancient knights fulfills a man's ego like an automobile.Alas! regardless of their doom, the little victims play! No sense have they of ills to come nor care beyond today. Perhaps all artists were, in a sense, housewives: tenders of the earth household.If I were to live my life over again, I would be an American. I would steep myself in America, I would know no other land.

O Lord, wandering with thee, even hell itself would be to me a heaven of bliss.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
The greatest need of every human being is the need for appreciation.

If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in a person.

Get your ideas on paper and study them. Do not let them go to waste!

Thursday, March 10, 2005


I like tofu 

I'm in eye-of-the-storm time here at university. My midterms and assignments are all over, essays and exams aren't for a bit. Still I really should do some work right now. It's just I can't find the motivation to start essays that are due in a month.

I tried to find The Incredible Machine on the internet and stumbled across this site. They take old games that aren't being sold anymore and put them up for dl. Their TIM download doesn't work but I got Lode Runner and Marathon, two classics from my childhood (neither of which I remotely played into at the time). I deliberately didn't put any computer games on this computer for a reason so I hope this decision won't come to haunt me (it will).

I really like tofu but lately it's been having a weird aftertaste. Then this week there was a block of tofu that tasted normal. I was so happy I ate the whole thing (some in stir-fry, some fried up with cayenne pepper in oil, some plain). It was delicious. And on the topic of delicious we should all drop by our fellow goin[g] aper and say "hi" (Am I the only one who sees it as "goin gape"?).

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Comicses 


Big W-T-F 

So I went to Einstein's yesterday for Toonie Tuesday and ended up using their bank machine - took out $60.00 since the thing charges me an extra $2, I might as well get enough out so that I can go for a while without taking out more. I made a deposit today and saw there was WAY less than there shoulda been.

So I look at my transaction record online, and lo and behold, there's two transactions for $62.00 each that went down yesterday. $62.00, March 8, and $62.00, March 8, again. Now the real puzzle is, I have a $100.00/day cash limit. How the fuck did this happen?

Called the bank, asked them to straighten it out. They're launching an investigation, apparently, but it'll cost me a $5 service charge. Gonna talk to the owner of Einstein's tomorrow. Moral of the story is, don't use 3rd party bank machines in bars. Make the 10 minute walk in the cold to the fucking CIBC.


Too Tired to think straight 

My diet from this weekend: pasta with tomato sauce and cinnamon hearts. The hearts are leftover from my valentines day women studies class. At first I was worried that a cinnamon heart diet would affect my health and sanity. Then I lost feeling in my right leg so I stopped worrying. I ward off the effects of scurvy (the disease of french colonists and university students) I've been trying to eat lots of apples and carrots. My gums aren't rotting yet so it seems to have worked.

Last night I d'loaded Doom 3 in all it's alien blasting glory. This time a science research facility on Mars has opened a gate way to Hell, unleashing a deluge of zombies, blood and brain matter (don't you just hate it when that happens?). Anyway this is not a game to be played on your own, in the dark at 3am. When I was done I curled up in the fetal position on the floor of my closet under a pile of dirty laundry with my flashlight mumbling "don't let them get my brains...I just need the shotgun...kill all that moves".

Today in my class Women in Britain and Europe we were disucssing Frued, women and sexuality in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. As is always the case with that seminar we got sidetracked and began talking about how on the cover of this months the Vanity Fair magazine was a dozen famous actresses (including Scarlett Johansson, apparently she's doing Mission Impossible 3) who all looked very ethereal. Someone mentioned Kristie Alley, I blurted out "Kristie Alley is a circus" by which I meant the media attention she recieves from the supermarket tabloids due to her fluctuating weight is similar to a circus. Conversation stopped and a dozen pairs of eyes turned towards me as I fumbled to explain myself. Later we talked about genital mutilation that happens in some cultures. I happened to be the only guy in class and was quickly horrified into silence. My classmate Jess had brought two bins of Easter candy and let me take home the left over. So now I have more candy to eat

We've been watching a lot of curling and slamball recently. As great as slamball is it can't replace hockey. Gawd I need my hockey back.


S'a small world after all 

Turns out I know one of them peeps from Catch23 that you guys are always talking about. I sat beside one of the judges(?), a guy named Graeme, for 4 months at work this summer. I just happened to look at his blog today and saw a link to the tournament website.

I actually did some job work tonight, for a change. Handed in yet another assignment for neural nets and I think I might have done well on it.

My thoughts turn toward the summer. I should really find a fucking job, and such. I'm hoping to get hired back at the lab, but I'm not sure I will. As well I'll probably be summerschooling it for a few courses. Bah life sucks etc.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


No she di'n't! 

So we went to Catch 23 last night with some newcomers. I brought a friend from film and Ben showed up with a gaggle of girls. Salmon Eye were near the stage and I got a bunch of my ask-fors used. Among the ones I can remember:
Meeting Place: Deli
Hobby: Whittling
Made-up Horror Movie Title: Blind Date

But the very best part was when these two female improvisers were competing.
Girl 1: I'm your exact equal.
Girl 2: (looks at Girl 1's chest) Not quite equal.
Leo: (To Sam, thinking he's speaking softly) She didn't just go there!
Girl 2: Oh yes I did just go there!

Coming soon: New Apple comic. One of the best comics I feel I've ever made.

Going Ape with Jean Teasdale

Monday, March 07, 2005


Superman is a dick 

In my "Humour and the ancient world" class we had to write a funny story that happened to us and then later review someone else's funny story. Our prof is reading a few to us and today he read mine. It got some nice laughs and when the reviewer started off with "I don't think this story was that funny" there were boos from the class. Some of them not from me! Anyway I don't know what that guy's problem was because then he listed 3 things he found funny, which is quite good for story that fits on a single piece of paper. I hope the prof doesn't read my review of a story, because to be honest I'm just making fun of it.

Speaking about being an asshole, if you haven't seen this website: Superman Is A Dick well then you need to. It's a collection of comic book covers showing Superman to be... well a dick. A lot of them are really funny, but this one takes the cake:



Also, "The Incredible Machine" was a great game. I wish I had it.


Return of the (now not so) mysterious emailer. 

Joo guys remember I had that weird email from someone and I couldn't figure out who it was? I got two more, just in the last two days, one from Interactive A. Dishonesty and another from Violinists R. Aerating, with the subjects "Take that!" and "Hello Chief :)" respectively. As follows:

How about your good self?

Nomoskaar

To feel that one has a place in life solves half the problems of contentment. My attitude is never to be satisfied, never enough, never.

'Tis the common disease of all your musicians that they know no mean, to be entreated, either to begin or end.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Wicked is not much worse than indiscreet. My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. When I die, I want people to play my music, go wild and freak out and do anything they want to do.

The actor's popularity is evanescent applauded today, forgotten tomorrow. Common sense is what tells us the Earth is flat and the Sun goes around it. Death is a shadow that always follows the body. First say to yourself what you would be and then do what you have to do. I'm not a genius. I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience. America is not anything if it consists of each of us. It is something only if it consists of all of us.

Under the wide and starry sky. Dig the grave and let me lie.

Next, in importance to books are their titles.Great geniuses have the shortest biographies.

The man must have a rare recipe for melancholy, who can be dull in Fleet Street.

We learn by teaching.


and:


Good evening.

Lia suhn haoy. He is a fool that kisseth the maid when he may kiss the mistress.

Reprove your friends in secret, praise them openly. There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy. We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches. If you have a choice between certainty and hope, choose certainty every time. The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is out-grossing my films.

Nothing is as peevish and pedantic as men's judgments of one another. What one generation sees as a luxury, the next sees as a necessity. I grew up to always respect authority and respect those in charge. Fear does not have any special power unless you empower it by submitting to it.

One never ends. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Whenever you see a gaming table be sure to know fortune is not there. Rather she is always in the company of industry.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
Knowledge is the most democratic source of power.

Delay is the deadliest form of denial.

Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good. When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.


Of course, in the middle of each is an ad. HOW TO HAVE THE BEST SEX HUMANLY POSSIBLE ?. So I guess we know who's emailing it.

Dammit though if I don't get the coolest muthafuckin penis enlargement emails in the whole internet.

Sunday, March 06, 2005


FURIOUS 

I got on the streetcar this morning and put in my ticket and the driver was hassling at me. What? I had my headphones on. He was asking me for another dime. What? Is this a joke? He's trying to extort me? He points to a sign on the cashbox that says there's been a fare increase. A fucking fare increase and they didn't even post mentions of it on the TTC billboards. Now the next 3 times I use my "old" tickets (I bought yesterday) I have to put in a dime and for the rest of my life I have to pay mo' money. Goddmanit. I know they're strapped for cash but they should've never built that fucking purple line in the Northeast. What irks me is they definitely won't stop here. TTC isn't really the Better Way but for many people it's the Only Way.

Spent all day filming in a farmhouse / cottage in Innisfil (near Barrie). There wasn't any kind of heating and the foundation of the house was cement so it acted like a cooler, trapping all the cold from the previous week inside. Breaktime was huddling around the elements on the electric stove. Didn't really feel sick today, just more zonked from spending all day in the cold.

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a gorilla with no superego.