03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004
And I don't mean track and field.
Listen for a familiar voice at 44:40 on the first hour of the July 20th program.
Y'ever seen a guy with a stupid Jedi padawan fucking hair braid? Kate and I went out for dinner last week and saw a guy about our age at a near by table with his parents and brother. He had one of these gross looking skinny braids hanging down over his left ear. Does anyone know if there is any real world significence to this, or is it just an embarassingly public display of his devotion to all things Star Wars? It took a lot of willpower (and threats from Kate) for me to NOT go over there and cuss him out.
Hey, does anyone else remember Biz Markie from that song 'Just a Friend'? Well apparently he does a bit on a kids show called 'Yo Gabba Gabba'. This one (<----) in particular is kinda weird. Holy Shit! Speaking of Biz Markie, did anyone else know he had a cameo in Men in Black II? (It's at 1m 20s, thank you YouTube)
The Toronto Street News? I took a cab home after Sam's party on saturday and found a copy of the TSN on the seat. Until now I'd never really looked at it very closely, but Oh Em Gee, that is one trashy rag. I was drawn to the back cover which featured some lousy cartoons about American politics and the caption "Democratic Fraud As ZIONISTS attack our advertiser so that we cannot any longer subsidize their corporation here in future. Therefore their ad will not appear as they are afriad of further harassment and threats by Toronto ZIONISTS who attack the messenger rather than improve themselves and their nazi ways.?"
Throughout the newspaper their were numerous references to 'facists', 'nazis', and 'zionists, even 'masons'. Those are all such overused terms that get thrown about way to often by people who don't really know what the words mean. Was this written by disgruntled 15 year old boys on an internet message board?
I can't really tell where this newspaper fits on the political spectrum. Most of it seems left wing but then there is an article about Toronto police using excessive force in a raid on a 'responsible' gun owner and an editorial cartoon along the lines of "David Miller's gun policy only harms legal gun owners NOT the city's armed criminal elements"
Plus the other editorial cartoons are rather lame.
Seriously, what kind of a dick leaves a goodbye party at 1 AM to catch the fucking bus (when he doesn't go to work in the morning anyways) when he knows that he has a friend depending on him as his phone contact to help him find out where the hell he's going? What kind of an absolutely self-centered cock does a thing like this?
P.S. I also blame this douche for my having incidentally twisted my ankle after kicking a metal garbage can in frustration at his assholeish behavior.
North Americans are such hypocritical whiners. We aghast at growing rates of obesity and then a week later complain about the increase in food prices. Shut up you fucking babies! Here's a solution: EAT LESS! It IS possible to eat healthy on a budget.
We claim to be concerned about the environment, "climate change", "greenhouse gases" and all that bullshit but we still build sprawling subdivisions. And then they complain about gas being $1.30/L. Anyone who chooses to live in the suburbs made the choice to drive everywhere therefore they lose the right to complain about the cost of gas. You wouldn't have to complain if you lived in a proper city where biking, walking or public transportation are viable options. I saw man-on-the-street article in the local newspaper asking people how their driving habits would change if gas was $1.50/L this summer. Depressingly most people grudgingly admitted that it wouldn't change their driving habits at all.
I got talking to some old guy at Staples a couple weeks ago and he told be that the war in Iraq was never meant to succeed, it was meant to drive up oil prices. At first I was like 'yeah whatever old man, I love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next guy but that's a bit much', but then it made sense. The fucking oil companies are making a killing because North Americans have an addiction more costly than coke.
Which leads me to the big news this week (it was a slow news week): OMG General Motors is closing its truck/SUV plants in Oshawa. Oh Nos!!!1!!111 The President of the Canadian Auto Workers union Buzz "Attention Whore" Hargrove and other union leaders called the closure a 'betrayal', but really this is just GM accepting the realities of the modern economy. No one is eager to buy a a gas guzzler and it's GM's own fault for taking this long to realize that. Unfortunately the workers in Oshawa are paying the price for that lack of forethought and flexibility.
It really irks me when I see morons with bumper stickers that say "out of a job yet? keep buying foreign cars". Fuck you. The Big Three (Ford, GM and Chrysler) are anachronistic companies stuck in the 1960's. They have been laying employees of for years. On the other hand since 2005 Toyota and Honda have both opened multi million plants in Woodstock and Alliston respectively which employ thousands of people.
Raaaghr. Holy SHIT is that the time? I got home form work around 6 and quickly passed out, I blame the fucking heat, ugh snot nice hear? When I woke up the clock said 7:00 am and I thought it was time to get ready to go to work so I got took a shower, ate some cereal, did the routine. Oh no the skies getting dark. Rain? TWO HOURS LATER I realized that it was actually 9PM! Doy.
So I guess some black guy is gunna be the next president or something?
Oh yeah, why did I get Rick Rolled at the mall today? For real. Has this gone from internet meme to pop culture norm. Ugh as long as I don't see goatse as a waterfoutain next I need to buy socks.
Lord knows I'm a madman for deals, (I have written letters for free steak vouchers) but wow, this is, this tops it. It's almost enough to make you get on your bike and hit up as many Harvey's' as possible in the 5 hour window.
Free hamburger on Sunday. No strings attached as far as I can detect. This is a desperate gambit from a company that is going down hard. But fuck, they do make the best burgers of any big chain I know.
I just looked at the participating stores in Toronto and there are like 5 all clustered near yonge from Dundas down to King. That's not even very far. Just remember to wipe the ketchup off your lips before approaching for your next burger.
If you looked at a newspaper a couple weeks ago you couldn't have missed the countless articles reporting an announcement from TD Bank economists that Ontario will become a 'have-not' province possible as early as 2009. Basically what that means is that the province would start recieving equalization payments from the federal government. The whole Canadian equalization formula is complicated and not really worth figuring out. For the fifty odd years that the equalization formula has been in place the economy of Ontario has supported the 'have-not' provinces. This isn't becuase Ontario is suddenly in the poor house, it's economy grew by 3% last year. Ontario will become a 'have-not' because with oil prices on the rise oil-rich provinces like Alberta and Newfoundland are rolling in cash. Danny Williams the attention-whore premier of Newfoundland made snarky comments about Ontario, calling it the 'weak sister of confederation.' Fucking Danny Williams. All of a sudden they have money and suddenly they forget the FIFTY YEARS that Ontario tax payers bailed out their sorry asses and paid for Newfies to have hospitals and schools. The cod-market sure didn't pay for those. $20 BILLION a year is taken out of Ontario's economy to support the other provinces.
The last time Ontario was faced with have-not status was in the late 1970's/early 80's during another recession and oil crisis when then-premier Bill Davis refused to accept humiliating equalization handouts that would have equalled $100 million per year.
I've never been much of a regionalist. I've never really considered myself an 'Ontarian' (probably because that's a pretty dumb thing to call yourself). I'd consider myself a Torontonian first and an Ontarian second. But when these Johnny-come-lately's make smug 'weak sister' comments it irritates me. In 15 years when the oil and natural gas run out (as it inevitably will) Alberta will look like a charred moonscape, Newfoundland will go back to being the red-headed step child of confederation, but Ontario will still be strong.
This is the kind of thing we'd make up as a joke.
50 Cent vs The Middle East on X-Box 360.
This isn't a rick-roll or a phantom rick roll, because I've already promised you something dreadful.
Seriously. Is this news? Yes, I think so. I think it means he had a deprived childhood. I'm sorry but it's just true.
I spent the wknd in Lndn, got a swtr and a jckt from valu vllg, saw a mscl about the btls and hung out with Jonna. I realised that I hadn't so much as looked at this blog in months as I read about broadcasting versus the long tail of (semi-) private blogs in Clay Shirky's Here Comes Everybody, a book about how the internet is basically awesome. I am the sort who remains largely sceptical about technology like the internet. I'm also the sort of person who spells sceptic with a c instead of a k, even though my American friends think that it's a weird Canadian way of spelling 'septic'. But re: the internet (and with the understanding of course that I am using it now), I remain sceptical that it is indeed a wonderful revolution in information distribution. Certainly it's changed things, but I begin to wonder how hypermediatic forms of communication will determine our understandings of our world, especially with regard to less popular understandings. I mean, the Long Tail sounds Utopian in a paradoxically pragmatic way, but I have my reservations. I won't write any more about this, though, because I'm already a ways into writing a blog about blogging, and there are too many people who do that. Jacob and Box probably read their blogs.
Anyway I hope to be a lil more present once more. Maybe I'll be more involved if we do a revamp of the site, hmm?
I'm going away for four days w/ Safeway Tours with my girlfriend to celebrate our one year anniversary. We'll be going to Bostorn, Manhattan, Philadelphia and Washington D.C. and some caves all in four days! It is like a little sampler of each city, you know, and then you can revisit one of them later if it strikes you. I the future when you get a car and a driver's licence or some other outlandish sci-fi premise like that.
I hope the weather is good. In any case, it should be a trip. It's going to a lot like this except more confusing because we won't be privvy to any of the goings-on in the Chinese language. This is gonna be pretty awesome.
Pictures and more in MONDO methinks, down the line.
Hey fans of comedy adn the internet have I got a combo for you. I have recently discovered a couple very funny sketch comedy troupes that release videos online, 'The Whitest Kids U Know' and 'Derrick Comedy'. Both groupd are consistently funny. In particular check out an investigative report on "Bro Rape" and this Classroom Sketch from Whitest Kids.
That's all for now.
Hey hey, you all. How goes?
Me? I'm okay. I'm actually pretty satisfied, as I think that I just put out one of my most consistently high-quality Lifestyle sections to date. Seriously, I got a good article from Claire on Bangkok, one from Jenny on the newest variety of heroin to hit the streets, and one from myself ranting about the CBC. Also on the site (and Box, I am talking to you when I say this) are a bunch of "Top Ten Marvel Characters" lists.
So yeah, that's it. If anyone wants to write me some Lifestyle in the near future, it'd be vastly appreciated. And really, I think YOU would appreciate it, too. Do it for yourself.
Woah. Seriously guys, WOAH. If you've read any newspaper recently you will have seen that the traditional tour of the Olympic torch from Mount Olympus in Greece to the Olympic host city, Beijing, has turned into a logistical, security and PR nightmare. In every country that the flame has visited there have been people protesting the ongoing Chinese suppression of the distubances in Tibet as well as its human rights violations. There were pictures of spooky, tracksuited Chinese secret service dudes in the National Post this week. Just about every stop along the route has be met with protesters trying to disrupt the relay or extinguish the torch. Planners have rerouted the relay, cut it short and tried other tactics to keep the torch away from protesters and the media. So much for the games "for the people".
As we get closer to the games which begin August 9th, I see these protests escalating. I don't have a very good feeling about these Olympics. I'm worried that protesters might do something very drastic to disrupt the games and that the Chinese authorities would conduct a crackdown in full view of the worlds media.
Oh yeah, what's up with these lame French rollerblade-cops? C'mon France, is that the best you can do? Seriously.
I know you guys are all big BSG watchers. I plan to become one myself. First I have to get through Lost S. 3, Deadwood S. 3, The Wire (At least S. 1) and Dexter (At least S.1).
Here is a blog website [redundant, consider revisiong] [EDIT: spelling error, consider revising] by a creative producer and writer for BSG, Buffy and Star Trek TNG. Naturally, she is very smart.
If you read Friday, April 11's post, she brings up one of Neil's favourite topics, how Hollywood movies of old managed to do things much more economically.
So I just realized that the lyrics to "A Boy Named Sue" were written by a dude named Shel Silverstein. Was he projecting? How did I not make this connection before?
I was on the subway train and this fifteen year-old wigger came on. He had a fake-faded jean jacket, gelled up hair and a cheap looking cross with fake ice (what used to be called "that cheap shit from the back of the Source." But, "no more Source the street credit, them days is dead," to quote another famous Uighur.) He sat right behind me. He coughed and then coughed again. He stretched out his arm on the back of the chair. And then he started hacking phlegm into his mouth (but not spitting). It was this disgusting sound. And he kept doing it over and over.
I started thinking. If I were Box, I'd rip out his earbuds out and rudely tell him to shut the fuck up and get out of my earshot.
Then I got an even better idea. Either right before he gets off or I get off, I yank his worthless chain off his neck and run! It'd be so sweet. Mainly because the chain is so obviously worthless. Something about me doing a chain snatch on this kid would be so amazing in its fake ghettoness. And then I'd get caught by a TTC guy and then they'd call the cops. And I'd show the cops I was a middle class student with my social sciences assignment and my TV script in my backpack. What would they think?
Maybe this is a massive in-joke that you'd have to be me to get. I'm pretty tired.
The rude tell-off and the chain snatch were both ruled out since they obviously violate The Rules.
Did a presentation yesterday. It's not the sort of thing you can bomb. (Interpretive dance, basically. What I was doing in said class was as much a mystery to the others in the class as it is to me as it is to you.) But if you could bomb, my group would've.
I took an exam today. Went well. I'm all wrapped up on April 16th.
Also, look, I found a blog by a Canadian TV writer.